Long distance story. Could you help me figure this out?

[DFÑ]

I'll keep it as short as possible.

Last year I went abroad for 5 months, where I met a girl who I became very, very good friends with. About a month before the trip was over, I started developing very strong feelings for her... and I ended up falling in love with her. I'm 22, and it's the first time I've ever felt this way. At first I didn't even think she was attractive, and now (more than a year later) l can't think of anyone else. Before we said goodbye, I told her I wanted to tell her something but we lived too far away, and she said "yes we live too far away" (different continents), after that, she laid on my chest and asked me if i liked her and i just didn't answer. After I left, she texted me "I'm sorry that it has to be this way, I would never like to hurt you".

I never got over my feelings, but I was ok after a year. Then, a couple of weeks ago, she and another friend came to my country, and we met up. I'm sure I felt some kind of vibe from her... She was very touchy, and she treated me with a lot of "loveliness", and said some things that I'm sure were for leading me on. So right when we said goodbye I told her that she will always be the girl of my dreams, and I left. After she left for good, she texted me and told me not to forget her, that it was better this way, because distance isn't good and she wouldn't like to hurt me. I said I understood.

Then she started telling me very personal stuff (some problems) and she said things like "how i wish you lived closer", "I would be much better if I were back there", she occasionally sends me songs, and every one of them is either a love song (one of these songs is about wanting to be with someone but thinking it's impossible), she sometimes sends me selfies, another day she sent me a drunk video of herself and her friends talking to me, so clearly she's been talking to them about me. All of these things never happened before I told her what I told her. And we continue to send some texts once or twice a week, not chatting just texts we read and reply some days later.

So i sent her a letter, where I told her everything I felt for her, and how I regret never making a move and asking her to tell me clearly if she has had any feelings like mine, and she told me she'll need some time to reply with a letter. Everyone that knows this story, and my gut, tell me that she most likely does feel something for me, but she's afraid to invest on the huge distance.

However, I've started to have a feeling that she might not feel anything for me at all... And I decided I don't want to get hurt, so if she doesn't feel anything for me I'll keep a big distance to heal (not ruining the friendship). What do you think she's thinking?? And what do you think that letter might have?

Thanks!!!!!!!

[yerduaxela]

I'm sure she was likely touched by your letter and it probably meant a lot. If you're on different continents with no chance of ever really living close, I'm afraid it's probably best for the both of you to just move forward with your lives and find other people. It can be hard when your heart tells you one thing but if you know you can't have her, you may as well try to find a new love to complete you. I think it would be best to speak on the phone or something more personal than text to make a final decision between the two of you. good luck.

[DFÑ]

Thank you for your comment. I know it's very hard... I've always been a cold, centered person and whenever I see something's not very likely I just back out and distance myself, but there's something else that tells me that this time I just can't give up like that. I have a gut feeling that this could be what I've been looking for without even knowing. The thing is, next year I will be going to study my master's degree, and one of my best options is to do it in her country, so we'll certainly have a chance there. However, I want to be sure she has feelings for me before I tell her that, because I don't want her to feel pressured or to think that she's making me do that. So, as women, what do you think is going on in her mind?

[pseudosooz]

Hey, I'm living proof that this CAN happen. My husband is Australian and I'm American, and international relationships are not so uncommon anymore. We live in a great age for this kind of thing. The important part is that you need to understand that, I know this is extremely cliché, ::shutter to writer it:: 'the world works in mysterious ways'. Anything you feel this strongly about must be followed with action, BUT, be prepared that maybe 10 years from now you look back and realize that you were never meant to get the girl, but if you hadn't of chased her to that country, and hadn't of went to School there, then you would never have _________ <- the wonderful thing Future You is in possession of due to your brave choice. And Future You may take a moment to reflect back to Present You and think ' Thanks Man, Thanks for having the guts to follow your heart'. In this scenario it's nothing to do with her, and what she's thinking right now.
Ultimately, that is not the question. The question is: The Ultimate Whomever gave you feelings.. are you going to listen to them or ignore them?
This isn't about her. It's about YOU.
Good Luck!