She thought of doing it...

[clip_raider]

My gf was away for two months. Right before us staying far away, in two different countries, she made a mistake and thought her parents were against the relationship. She told me she wanted me just as a friend, when I was still at her house. My reaction was to walk out of the room, and start packing, but she kept on stopping me, begging me to stay, she kneeled and begged, saying she didn't want it. Eventually I agreed not to go. She told me afterwards she didn't want to do that, that it was her parents' fault, and that they always isolated her from her friends, with that being the reason she has none (indeed she doesn't have many friends). I felt really bad about it, but I forgave her, because she looks helplessly submitted to her parents, they're very strict, and when she was young they beat her badly, she was once kicked naked, and had bruises everywhere, only that prompted her Dad to say sorry. It later turned out they weren't against us at all, it was her error.
That, however stayed in my mind for a very long time. She dumped me because her Mum said so, at least she thought she did. But it passed and I don't think about it anymore.
Anyway, two weeks later, after me leaving for my country she got her ex into her friends on facebook. I nomally wouldn't have any problem with that, but she used to have an annoying habbit of making up stories that she betrayed me just to annoy me (after a moment she'd say it's not true), and she talked about him to much at the beggining of the relationship, and once, when I was in her area, she said his name whilst I was kissing her, for a joke. That really got me angry. She said sorry, and that she exaggerated. That prompted me to phone her when she added him on fb and force her to remove him. She didn't like that, I also later thought that was stupid of me. I apologised and she forgave me.
Two months passed and she started studying in my country. But something wasn't right. Her group in the university joined up on facebook, and she found out someone from her country was studying with her. She, with the old annoying habbit, joked she betrayed me with him. This got me on alert, because those jokes always used names of boys who she used to be attracted to.
This guy sent her a private message on facebook for her birthday, she talked with him quite a lot, she initiated the conversation, although she said he started it. I knew that because I guessed her password on facebook. She also sent him a cute picture, and started liking every picture he posted, which got me on alert. She said she thought he was aiming at her. I was on red alert, but didn't say anything, I chose to observe.
She arrived, and she seemed slightly distant, I had to initiate cuddling, touching and kissing. When her studies began, the whole group of her studies organised themselves to meet in a bar. That was the first time she met him for real, in front of me, because I was suspicious and invited myself in. He hugged her for a start, quite closely, which I didn't like. But I decided to keep watching, even talked to him.
After the meeting she made the comment "He talks really well with me", and I noticed irritation and denial when I said he was going for another girl at the meeting. After a moment I asked her why she stopped cuddling up to me, why I had to do everything. She was silent for a moment, and then said "That guy has messed my head up, and the other girls' heads too. I'm sorry, I had a weak moment. Because of the arguments we had before staying away for two months I forgot you a bit. Let's start going out more, kiss more, get my hormones going, let's get everything back as it used to be."
I'm a bit slow when it comes to analysing situations and only when I went home I felt unsatisfied with the conversation. The next day I asked her for more truth and after pressurizing she admitted she was attracted to both me and that other guy. I asked her to choose between him and me. She then, in front of me (!!!) started wondering whether he felt anything for her. Her initial responce was "Give me a day", but I pressurized her to be faster, so she said she chose me. We then kissed.
I wasn't happy about that. Who the f cares what he feels ?!? I thought.
After that she tried to be more affectionate to me again, but a few times she thought of separating. We eventually did, because she dumped me, but then changed her mind, and we started off again. After that she said she was tired, and started talking in a way as if nothing happened, as if she wasn't beggining to fall for him. However, the relationship came back in it's original shape, with all the affection, which made me happy, and she started to make big efforts to win me over. I hate lies, so I kept on coming back to it, and forced sorry out of her, but it was forced, and before she kept on saying things like "You're obsessed with it" "You're making me tired of the relationship" "He's just a friend".
The truth was she started that, not him. As it turned out, he wasn't actually interested, he even like a photo of her's where we were together, embracing. This was a few days ago, and that was the first time she posted something about us on facebook (before she was very private about it, didn't post a thing). She doesn't want to face the facts. For the moment I'm continuing it. I really love her. But I often have bad feelings. There was no physical betrayal. But if not for my intervention there might have been. I feel bad and betrayed.

[purple_roses]

This relationship is so sick and twisted. She's got issues with all these "jokes" she plays on you and all these other guys she tell you she likes. You've got issues by getting back with her no matter what she does. You both will never be happy in this relationship. I don't think u will truly break up with her, so suffer on and you will realize what a waste of time this was when this crazy girl actually does leave u for someone else. It will probably be a long cycle though because most guys won't put up with her, and that's the only reason she keeps coming back to you.