Should I contact him?

[hermosaa]

Hi guys,

I am wondering if I should contact my ex and ask if he wants to meet. I want your advice on this please.

He broke up with me a month ago and since that time I have had no contact with him at all. He called me once and we talked for a minute or two, but other than that no contact.

When he broke up with me he cried a lot and was very sad, and when he called a couple of weeks ago he also told me that he has had a difficult time and that he was sad. When he broke up he asked me several times if we still could be friends. I told him that I could not do that. I don't just want to be friends with him.

We were together for almost 5 years and my heart breaks a little every morning when I wake up alone. I miss him so much!

We go to the same university but not the same classes. Yesterday was actually the first time i caught a glimpse of him in the cafeteria, but he did not see me (he was too far away). But the fact that we study at the same place is very hard for me. I always mentally prepare myself that I will meet him when I walk through the halls, and I am always nervous when it is lunchtime and I go to the cafeteria. I always want to look my best and always take an extra trip to the bathroom to check my hair etc. It is very hard and exhausting and at the end of a long day I am so tired mentally. I just don't think I can do this until june 2015 (when I am finished at school).

My ex is a really nice guy and the worst thing in his mind is to hurt others. I got hurt and I am angry at him for hurting me, but at the same time I miss him so much. It has helped me a lot with NC the past month and the fact that he only has contacted me 1 time is because he respects my decision about not wanting to be friends with him. Well, I am having second thoughts about this. Not necessarily being his friend but just to have a little contact with him and maybe meet him sometimes. Because I know that he will not contact me because he respects my decision too much. So what do you think?

I am not healed but i try to go on with life. Stay active. Do schoolwork, go to school, go to work, hang out with friends etc. Still I want him back so much. I want to be his girl. I don't believe that meeting him will change anything. I can show him that I have changed (because I have), but other than that it just would be fantastic to meet him and talk to him again.

What do you think?

[lissa]

It's so hard and I know the feeling. Years ago I actually begged my ex to see me a few weeks after our breakup, just for a few minutes. He agreed and it was such a big deal for me, but afterward I felt lame and even sadder and I missed him even more.

I don't recommend contacting him or trying to be friends at this point. All this pain you are feeling, the heartache in the morning, the waves of anger, it's part of you healing. Don't undo all the work you have done by breaking your resolve and trying to see him/hang out with him right now. Your body is emotionally (which is also physically) withdrawing from him, almost like a drug withdrawal. Don't undo all the progress you've made by giving yourself a tiny dose of that drug. Stay strong. Things will get better and you have come so far in a month, even if you don't feel like you have.

[purple_roses]

It's only been a month... Of course your not going to just move on from a boyfriend of five years in just a month. Asking to be friends or contacting him now would be the worst thing u could do for yourself. Talking to him and thinking about him will only keep u attached to him and make u suffer longer. U need to not check your makeup before lunch or think about him all the time. I know it is hard but if u push the thoughts out, you will slowly stop thinking about him. You'll never forget him, but eventually some days will go by where u don't think of him. It's going to take time. Like 6 months or whatever, depending on how well u can quit obsessing over thoughts of him.

[montanamommy]

Why did he break up with you? What were his reasons? That can help us a little, when trying to figure out if you should try for this, try to contact him, etc.

A lot of guys will sometimes be with someone for a long period of time and then start thinking long-term thoughts, which may scare them to the point that they second-guess themselves and they ultimately break the relationship off, when that's not particularly what they really want; they might just be afraid that they're falling deeply in love, and "this is looking like forever". He may have just gone through that phase.

On the other hand, if he broke up with you and had legitimate reasons, that might mean a little bit of different things. Were his reasons legitimate? Had you guys had a horrible fight?

I am so sorry that you are so saddened. My heart goes out to you.

[Wakeup]

What you're wanting to do is very common not only with a breakup but with getting over an addiction of any kind. You're trying to talk yourself into going back for one more drag of that cigarette, one hit of that H, one pill of that prescription pain drug.

You're going through withdrawl from not having him in your life and getting one hit of him every once and awhile is not going to help your pain. In fact, all its going to do is keep you addicted and continuing to cause you pain with each little detox you have to go through.

Give yourself some more time to get to the stage of indifference to him. That may take a month, a year, even two years if you don't do the mental work you need to do to stop thinking about him, to stop trying to look nice for him (do that for YOU, not him).

I congratulate you on being with enough self-love and good personal boundaries to not settle to be demoted from lover and friend to just friend. That would have been even more detrimental in you rehabbing from him being in your life.

Remember this: You can't quit smoking if you keep having a drag off of a cigarette. Just like you'll never get over him if you keep letting him in your life.

You'll be fine in time and how you're keeping busy using your time... I promise. You're with enough self-love, self-respect and self-esteem that I can say that without doubt.

[moneyspills]

Making a mistake when you are trying to win back the love of the person you lost can cost you any future with them. So many people jump headfirst into their own ill conceived plan to get their ex back. The end result is almost always the same. Their ex becomes more annoyed with them, tells them to get lost and then never speaks to them again. If you don't want this to happen to you, you need some real advice on how to get your ex back that is going to work. That advice should always include accepting the break up.

Watch this video:



[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hUjUYa-0rY]How To Get My Ex Boyfriend To Forgive Me[/url]

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[Wakeup]

You're like a walking advertisement.