Problem

[Uthaman]

Hello everyone!

I posted on another similar forum and no one was able to give me some good advice. I am feeling a bit lost and don't know what to do. I'll post my story below.

This is my story. I've been in a relationship with this girl for approximately 2 years. We started out as great friends online and we decided to hook up as she was moving close to me to go to university. We started out only seeing each other every other weekend or so because we were both rather busy and it was still a bit far. Things were going great between us and it was very hot and heavy. The university did not work out for the girl because of the stress and types of people there. My girlfriends mother came down from NJ to Florida where I am at to see what they are going to do about it. They traveled around and they decided to get an apartment near where I live and go to a local school. The girls mother agreed to pay all her expenses while she is in school and doing well for working for her the previous two years for free.

After, She moved here we were happy and things were hot and heavy for awhile. Then school started and we became more like best friends than lovers. We would have less sex and just spend time and do things together the passion was gone but not completely. We broke up in December after her coming in October. That only lasted about 12 hours and she called me and I showed up in a suit with flowers and was romantic and things went on for awhile. Things were good but still we were like best friends and always trusting and doing things together. I eventually pretty much moved in with her. We each had things that we did not like that the other did but that is relationships in general. Our passions wore off a bit and still we were best friends and teased a lot. Eventually, summer came about and I was no longer in school and she took some summer classes but decided to drop them as they were too fast paced during summer. While I was going to be at my annual training for the Army as I do the one weekend a month thing the girl was going to visit her mum who recently moved to Manhattan. It turned out that I did not need to go to that Annual training.

We did a few things before she left. We eventually sat down and talked as I was concerned about her not coming back and she assured me that she was. She also asked me if I see a future with her and I said yes and I asked the same and she said yes. Things were alright with us and I felt secure. I got a new job that started the day before she left. After my first day at the job she went and bought me food and it was so sweet.

We were rushed in the morning as she decided to stay up late and play online and did not want to get out of bed. So we fought traffic and made it to the airport and kissed real quick and she was off. I started off my second day of work feeling tired and everything was ok.

After her being in NYC for awhile she kept talking about how much opportunity was there and how great it was and how she wished I could see it. This happened for the next few days and I asked her if she was sure she was coming back and she assured me that she was. I was really starting to get anxious without her. In fact I realized how bad I felt without her and thought that maybe I should have been a better boyfriend and more romantic than I was. I started to really realize how much she made my life better.

The plan was for her to stay up in NYC for about a month. After the first week of wining and dining her the girls mother told her she was going to take her our for drinks one Saturday. Her mother informed her that she can no longer afford to pay for her to be down in Florida. She called me crying the next day and told me and I was very upset and she told me she has to sell her car and all her furniture to move in with her mother's studio apartment in Manhattan where they have to share a bed. The next few weeks things were horrid for me and we barely talked because she was so busy working for her mother and her mother got her a second job. She told me she was happy there and feeling better but I am not sure if that was true. The situation seemed horrible to me to be honest.

We barely talked at all over the next 3 weeks and it drove me crazy. She would text me she is going to sleep and once she texted me that she is starting to miss me. One day we had a short spat about it on the phone about her having to stay in NYC. The plan was for me to pick and her mother up at the airport on August 8th 2014

That day I worked for a few hours and then left to go pick them up at 7pm. Eventually, After some phone tag I found out where they were. I saw them and gave my girl a kiss and helped with the baggage. The drive was 45 mins and rather awkward to the apartment. I held her hand while we drove and I saw she had tears in her eyes and she was crying a little bit. I told her we will talk but for now just enjoy the ride and be happy. After we got back the apartment I helped them carry the luggage up stairs. They realized that they did not have any food at the apartment and we decided to get dinner. We had a 20 min wait so we went to the store across the parking lot and me and the girl flirted a lot. She asked me why I couldn't be so lovable before and I told her that distance made me realize how much she meant to me. We left and put the groceries in the car and we to get food. We had dinner and me and the girls mum talked a lot about life and money. I did not get much time alone with my girlfriend until we got back to the apartment.

We decided to go talk in the back seat of her car. I tried to be sweet and intimate but she would not let me. She them proceeded to tell me all the bad things I had done in the relationship. One time I did not hold her hand and she felt rejected, how once I freaked out about my phone dying and snapped a little at her when she wanted a kiss, on 4th of July I yelled at her for yelling when I was pulling out(ptsd came out) and how she thought I checked her messages(which I never did). She went on to tell me the spark is gone between us and we talked about how it was a good experience though. We decided to kiss to see if we had anything and she said she felt nothing and was not attracted to me anymore. She wanted to have a clean break but I wanted to remain friends and she agreed but only talking once a month. I think she agreed to that just to make me go away. She gave me back the stuffed bear that I got her on valentines day where I took her virginity. It was very shocking to me for her to say that to me. We were not doing the best in the relationship but for her tell me all those bad things and say our relationship was toxic surprises me. The girl told me we can still talk but not as much as before after I explained I don't like to lost contact with people and lost friendships. She promised to text me when she left the area. Since then I have not heard one word from her. She even deleted me on online accounts.

I am just shocked at how that went down. I don't know if she really feels that way or she is just making excuses because of circumstance. I was hoping you might be able to help me understand what happened. I feel shocked and slightly betrayed.

She came back on the 8th of August and now its October and I am having mixed emotions. I wake up angry and then other times I miss her. I feel I was not even given an opportunity to express my feeling or even work things out. I'd like to talk to her because I want to know WTF

Any advice?

[Uthaman]

Anyone have anything to say?

[purple_roses]

So she was a virgin.. Is she very experienced with boyfriends? She sounds inexperienced and immature. All that crying she did and how she had to tell you every little thing u did wrong during the break up speal. Which none of that was a big deal. I don't think this girl really knew what love and a connection is. You said u guys were like friends when u lived together.
Who knows what happened. Maybe she was tired of all the travel and long distance drama. That takes a lot out of people. Maybe her mom said something to her.i would focus on moving on and finding a girl that lives closer and has more experience.