He calls me a psycho.

[Zap96]

Hey guys I need help, I've been trying many many times to solve this huge problem of mine. I don't need you to discourage me about this because I want to keep it so I'd just need your opinions.
I've been talking to this guy since 1 year and half, like a distance relationship of kinda. Never met yet.
It's a sad story since we met at first I pretended because I was insecure but he found out and I told him everything about me. He didn't really hate me about it because he and I love each other so much. I might of lied few times and I swear I've truly felt bad as I have always apologised.
I'm not going to defend myself in general I do have a fault.
We've haven't been getting along since a very long time, I would act nice and stuff but he just ignores me or doesn't care. Says things to hurt me and he knows that I should hate him but I don't.
There are times we get along perfectly and I sometimes feel that he might still love me but just hide it because I do too. And because there aren't any chances to meet I slowly lose hope. He has been jealous, he has been worried about me. I've noticed that last month. But this month whatever I do or say without meaning it he takes it seriously and say that I'm weird, crazy, obsessed, psycho. How to prove him I'm not???????
I'm not any of that... I've tried to get along, I've been honest an year and I've promised myself to not do this ever again.
This month tho things are going disastrous.
If I message him first he gets annoyed, ignores, swears at me makes me feel so shitty. Brings me down and I can't explain the right reason for it. I know you'd say get over him. He's not worth it. Stuff like that but I seriously don't want to give up on my dream and that's to meet him someday.
I let him bring me down because I don't want to lose him but I'm so enough with it I'm thinking to not message him this rest of the month. Because I'm tired of being treated like one psycho. And one nothing.

Anyways
Thanks for reading please respond.

[TheEvilJester]

I don't know. Psycho is such a strong word. I mean, I feel you on that one. You know, you actually CARE about somebody and you get called a psycho. You actually legitimately want to be there for somebody and you get called a psycho. You make lampshades out of the flesh of your victims, and you get called a psycho. You have your very own throne constructed from the bones of your favorite victims, and you get called a psycho. You paint your bedroom in human blood and need a constant stream of "volunteers" since you prefer the crimson red color when it is fresh to the brownish color when it dries, and you get called a psycho. I think those people just don't understand me. :-D

But, being serious for a moment now...

I guess you'd sort of have to give us more details, if you are willing. I would understand if you don't want to, but it's a little hard to comment fairly based just on what you gave us.

Why does he call you a psycho? Have you done anything that may warrant it? Not that anybody should ever be name-calling like that, but have you maybe gone overboard in trying to get in touch with him? Or maybe gotten a little too attached a little too quickly? Please don't misunderstand. I'm not trying to say you are to blame. You may be partially to blame, or you may not at all. Thing is, it is understandable. I think many of us have been there, liking somebody who doesn't seem to like us as much. We all go a little mad sometimes.

At the same time, it could just be that he's a jerk. I can't really tell from just the details you have shared. Bottom line, whether you are partially at fault or not, you deserve somebody who will want to be with you. Sounds like this guy isn't that somebody. I mean, somebody who truly loves you doesn't call you a psycho, or think you want to be around them too much.

Anyways, if feel comfortable offering more details, please do. May help us to better comment. Either way, I wish the best of luck to you.

[Wakeup]

I'm so enough with it I'm thinking to not message him this rest of the month.

I think you should do this. And, while you're not messaging him, look for a nice boy that you can have a relationship with in real life...you know, someone who you can walk, ride a bus or car to go SEE in person.

Yes, don't message him for a whole month... even if he messages you.

[Zap96]

Thanks. I should try to do that. I really hope like once and for all this confusion to just end and to not have any misunderstandings between us anymore.

- - - Updated - - -

I don't know. Psycho is such a strong word.

But, being serious for a moment now...

I guess you'd sort of have to give us more details, if you are willing. I would understand if you don't want to, but it's a little hard to comment fairly based just on what you gave us.

Why does he call you a psycho? Have you done anything that may warrant it? Not that anybody should ever be name-calling like that, but have you maybe gone overboard in trying to get in touch with him? Or maybe gotten a little too attached a little too quickly? Please don't misunderstand. I'm not trying to say you are to blame. You may be partially to blame, or you may not at all. Thing is, it is understandable. I think many of us have been there, liking somebody who doesn't seem to like us as much. We all go a little mad sometimes.

At the same time, it could just be that he's a jerk. I can't really tell from just the details you have shared. Bottom line, whether you are partially at fault or not, you deserve somebody who will want to be with you. Sounds like this guy isn't that somebody. I mean, somebody who truly loves you doesn't call you a psycho, or think you want to be around them too much.

Anyways, if feel comfortable offering more details, please do. May help us to better comment. Either way, I wish the best of luck to you.

Hey there, thanks for your advice and I got to say that maybe he thinks that because I overreact too much, get sensitive and cry too much, he at times doesn't want to talk because he has his own life problems. Back then I could of bring him down many times with my lies and at times I've deserve it. I would be bossy or try to own him by what he says. He even said you have changed me into this now I stopped caring. You killed it. *means about our love* now I want to be fair, forgive, forget but he complicates it. I might message him but sometimes I won't for week, I do give him space tho.Then he would message me first sometimes but somehow I say something and he starts ignoring me there and there sure is something that is bothering him but he wouldn't say. He wasn't like that I swear. I had a huge power over him in the past and he was vulnerable but now it's like I got a bad karma and everything is the opposite. I realized where I went wrong and I've paid it with pain and tears it was horrible. Maybe you're right about it, I make myself seem like a psycho.
I want to fix this and solve this huge problem so I could finally rest in peace. Haha.

[Wakeup]

He's playing you for the cam sex. It's that simple. He doesn't love you but YOU ARE ADDICTED TO HIM AND THE MISTREATMENT... ask yourself why you allow it. Something is missing in you that you'd not have the self-worth to tell him to go fk himself.

[Zap96]

He's playing you for the cam sex. It's that simple. He doesn't love you but YOU ARE ADDICTED TO HIM AND THE MISTREATMENT... ask yourself why you allow it. Something is missing in you that you'd not have the self-worth to tell him to go fk himself.

Not really, it's easy to judge without knowing him. He's not a lad to just use someone for sex. Many nights I wake up and still can't believe how things changed in no time.
He has the wrong idea of me so as you guys. I cared and I still care for him. You'd just say ah leave it, distance relationships never work. But you know what it was his dream to meet me. So as mine.
The desire to meet is like completely gone now I sometimes feel hopeless. But that's when things change and get better but only temporary .
I've have been reflecting a lot and a lot and kept doing the same mistakes over and over and then boom I turned into a psycho again.
It's like I'm cursed or something, back then I would amaze him with my personality, my kindness. Now it's all the opposite of it. And I'm nothing like that at all, I wish he could see it.
Why would you tell people to give up since that is the easiest way. I've moved on in my life through though periods and only this one I want to keep fighting for because it feels right to me.
Been letting go a lot but he gets back to me and I can't help it. I feel like I should apologize and if he accepts it and both come to an agreement to just stop talking I would.
Sure I know that only time will tell.
I'm really confused right now anyways thanks for replying.

[Wakeup]

Not really, it's easy to judge without knowing him. He's not a lad to just use someone for sex.

Are you serious? Everything you've told us indicates that he has zero love for you and just uses you to get off on, has a hissy fit like a little princess when you dont' jerk off for him and ignores you after you wont. What else does he want you for if not sex. You've given us zero good things to say about him.

Many nights I wake up and still can't believe how things changed in no time.
He has the wrong idea of me so as you guys. I cared and I still care for him. You'd just say ah leave it, distance relationships never work. But you know what it was his dream to meet me. So as mine.

Then you need to wake up and get away from your nightmare. This is a long distance abusive relationship. His bullshit will only get worse once you spend more time with him. IF (big if) it gets that far.

The desire to meet is like completely gone now I sometimes feel hopeless. But that's when things change and get better but only temporary .

Yes. reread that and actually believe what you're saying. Why would you stay with this asshole? Whats wrong with you that you are so desperate that you put up being a cam whore?

I've have been reflecting a lot and a lot and kept doing the same mistakes over and over and then boom I turned into a psycho again.

It's not abnormal to turn into someone you are usually not when someone is provoking such results out of you on a consistant basis. Its akin to torture and its definitely emotional abuse. Again I ask what is wrong with you that you let him do it to you?

It's like I'm cursed or something, back then I would amaze him with my personality, my kindness. Now it's all the opposite of it. And I'm nothing like that at all, I wish he could see it.

You're not cursed... you're a codependent doormat who is so desperate that she doesn't think she can get another man who is not long distance so you put up with emotional abuse.

Why would you tell people to give up since that is the easiest way.

I only tell them to give up when the abuse is blatant and the one being abused is too codependent to see the truth that what they are in SHOULD be given up. It's sick and dysfunction to continue on in such mis-treatment.

I've moved on in my life through though periods and only this one I want to keep fighting for because it feels right to me.

Then quit complaining about how he treats you and become the good little sex cam mistress he wants you to be. Afterall if you give this little spoiled boy everything HE wants you'll be the love slave he demands you be.

Been letting go a lot but he gets back to me and I can't help it. I feel like I should apologize and if he accepts it and both come to an agreement to just stop talking I would.

you don't need his "agreement" to stop talking. You are not his possession. You are your own individual. He does not own you, you are not his slave who needs his permission to get on with your life without him in it. You just tell him it's over and then you don't talk to him ANYMORE. Done.

Sure I know that only time will tell.

You should get some therapy to help you with your low self-worth, your inability to speak for yourself, your low confidence, your codependency, your fear of being without an asshole who reins over you.

I'm really confused right now anyways thanks for replying.

Yes you are and that is why you need to talk to a therapist who will help you to figure it all out and get over your low expectations for yourself. Low, low, low expectations. You deserve to be respected and loved... not disrespected and thinking you're trapped.

I hope you wake up and realize what you have with this man is NOT love.

[Zap96]

I will look for a therapist and tell him/she the whole story. I'm sure would be of a good help. Thanks again. Everything will be ok

[Wakeup]

Make it so, Zap... make it so.

[TheEvilJester]

It is good that you are mature enough to be able to admit that perhaps you were part of the problem. Again, without knowing exactly how obsessive you may have been in your pursuit of him, I cannot necessarily comment further. But, it is good that you can at least acknowledge you may have at least a little bit of a problem. Trust me, though, I am sure most of us can relate to feeling overly attached to somebody. I know I sure as Hell can. I've always been somebody who feels things WAY too deeply. Compound that with the fact that I've had very few people in my life that I can trust and, as you can imagine, I can get pretty attached when I feel I've met somebody I actually CAN trust for once.

I've learned that about myself and learned to better balance it. Be it a friend, or a girl I may want to date, I've learned it is okay to be obsessing about them to myself a little. I can't help it and can't control it. However, I have to make the extra effort to do it in private by myself so that I can control myself better around the actual person. Otherwise, if you seem TOO attached, it can and often will drive people away. The sad thing about that is that, even for most people like you and me, we eventually level out once we've established the relationship a bit(be it a friendship or romantic relationship). It just takes us a little extra time to get to the point. So, the people who aren't willing to see that and instead choose to leave miss out on somebody who could be a great person in their life. Their loss, not ours. That is the important thing to remember.

Getting help is definitely a good idea. You shouldn't have to suffer through this alone. A therapist may be able to help you learn to better cope with these sort of feelings. Again, I know from experience that it is important to understand you probably can't change this about yourself. So many people respond with wonderful, thoughtful advice that unfortunately just isn't helpful to folks like us. We can't change how we are. The important part is learning how better to deal with it and regulate it. Good luck, my friend.

If he wasn't able to see past your "crazy" (and trust me, we all have varying degrees of crazy of our own, him included) then that is HIS loss. That just means there is a special guy still out there who is going to love you for you.

[moneyspills]

Not that anybody should ever be name-calling like that, but have you maybe gone overboard in trying to get in touch with him? Or maybe gotten a little too attached a little too quickly? Please don't misunderstand. I'm not trying to say you are to blame. You may be partially to blame, or you may not at all. Thing is, it is understandable. I think many of us have been there, liking somebody who doesn't seem to like us as much. We all go a little mad sometimes.











[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aC4YXwhMBuY]How Can I Get Him Back[/url]

[TheEvilJester]

Wow. Again, really great advice coming from moneyspills that sounds ever so much (as in EXACTLY, word for word) like advice I gave earlier. Too crazy. Seems moneyspills and I are truly of the same mind. Well.... you know.... that or moneyspills just goes around responding to threads by copying and pasting parts of other people's responses. But, who would waste their time doing that?