I am a 33 year old once divorced male in love with a 38 year old twice divorced female... Neither of us have kids, though we would both love them in the right scenario. I met "bella" in march, she worked 1500 miles away up north at the same company as one of my best friends... He found out she was going thru a divorce and knew she was moving near me in florida, and decided to arrange a meetup for us. Bella and I met for coffee, and we both enjoyed the most honest, and refreshing conversation ive ever experienced. I asked her out, and we had a great date... I gave her a kiss (first time I had kissed anyone but my ex in 9 years)... Quickly we became very emotionally and physically intimate... we experienced a closeness neither of us knew existed... our friendship grew along with our intimacy... She wanted to ensure we weren't a reboun so kept pushing me to date other woman, to get that out of my syster... which I did do, grudgingly... I met some nice girls, but it only confirmed my passion and love for bella... After sleeping w a girl, I realized how wrong it felt (even tho I had her blessing to go out a sew oats)... I confessed to her in tears the next day... she cried too, not thinking I'd do that so casually with someone, but only if I fell for someone else... Bella's ex was emotionally abusive, and she being such a sweet and submissive woman, took way to much abuse in her marriage... She has been healing to me (my ex and I could not enjoy physicality due to a female problem she had but we weren't aware of, she was a virgin till marriage)... I've been healing to her as well... The problem is the closer we have become, the more emotional issues she realizes she has not healed from... We've been on the brink multiple of times of getting serious, but then she gets scared... I've tried to be patient w her, but I have sometimes gotten upset, asking her to take a risk... I cherish bella more than anyone ive ever met... bella has recently been reading a book on radical forgiveness. 2 days ago she had me come visit her and she was wrapping up a phone call w some guy... she wished him luck w his class... well I know her ex husband is a college professor (im obviously not his biggest fan as I think about the pain he brought my sweet bella), and I assumed it was he on the phone, but I didn't come out and ask, I just acted a bit detached and aloof... Finally it came out it was him on the phone, and I got extremely angry w her for even talking to him. At the end of the day, I know its not my right to ask her not to talk to him, we aren't even engaged or in a serious relationship, but I got so upset... bella is like a fine china, and treated her harshly and really hurt her feelings... on top of her emotional healing, and the stress I can at times bring, shes been dealing with some female health issues, and has many family members looking to her to be their rock. Bella is exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally (oh did I tell u she is trying to establish a new career in florida, from scratch too???)... She told me she has to be honest with herself, and me, that she is not in the state to have a relationship... she was crying, I was crying... my heart is broken. Shes considering doing a 30 day wellness retreat (not for alcohol and drugs), to just get away from her pressures and stresses. I foremost want her well both physically and emotionally, but Im saddened that her 2 exes have diminished her ability to believe the best in someone... I have assured her I will not be phoning, or messaging her, and that she has my full support... Honestly, everything we have been thru together, I always thought we would get together in the end and love would conquer all... now im not so sure. Due to the nature of the problems I had in my ex relationship, I will most likely be pursuing passion and romance (its been a void in my life so long, and im young healthy, and strong) with other women, but cannot see it going beyond that with anyone but bella... I know I left out a lot of info here, but any advice would be greatly appreciated!