FWB - male advice wanted?

[Jelly Bean]

Four months ago I started a sexual relationship with a man I met in a nightclub. We were both very drunk and ended up going back that night with him. We realised that we had incredible sexual chemistry together and that morning we stayed up chatting til dawn. I left with his number and a mutual agreement that we would both continue to see each other. At this point he made it explicit that he did not want a relationship (to avoid the expense and hassle he'd had with previous relationships) and I was completely fine with this - I was very happy being independent and single too.

It stayed casual at first - we were always really open and honest and he told me that he was seeing another girl as well as me quite early on, but she didn't have a scratch on what I did for him (I was also happy being non-exclusive, but just happened to be seeing only him at this point). I stay away from home a lot of the year, and when I left we turned it into a distance arrangement. He travels down to see me and I travel up to see him - we see each other at least once a fortnight. We text back and forth everyday/every other day, keep in contact with general chat and when I see him we spend the nights together, he offers to buy me breakfast. We chat, watch movies, go for walks and generally hang out - he'll get to know me as well as just having sex.

Recently, I feel like our initial relationship has become more intense. We've had deep conversations about our families, backgrounds, values and prospects. We've started talking about plans further down the line (basically there's no sign this is going to end) and he's invited me to his brother's party that he will be inviting family and friends to. I met his parents very casually when I was staying with him and I've also met his close friends. We act very coupley when we're together now - he has no hesitations of putting his arm around me and kissing me in public, he cuddles me and kisses my forehead, we fall asleep in each others arms, joke around, he gave me his jumper and he's always complimenting me.

Yet there's this niggling in my head that this was only meant to be a friend with benefits situation, and now I feel like I'm getting very mixed signals. I was looking for opinions as to whether you think this guy is changing his mind about wanting to stay single? Thanks for the help!

[Wakeup]

Is he still fvcking the other girl because if he is, then it really doesn't matter that any of what you say is taking place? You're still a casual sexual partner. I suggest you have this talk with HIM and get it cleared up one way or the other. How you explained it all to us is quite the way to discuss it with him too.

[belltops]

^^^^^^^^^^^^

+1

[michelle23]

This is why you shouldn't agree to "casual non exclusive relationships" if you cannot keep your emotions out of it and not get so attached. You should have just used him short term while you looked for someone with more long term potential.

This is one reason i would never have a FWB coz i know what i want and i don't settle for less. Do you?

He made it clear from the start that he is emotionally unavailable. He may be looking for all the benefits of a relationship without the title so he can still do what he wants with other girls.. men like this are users and blood suckers who eventually drain you of all trust and normal emotions. He will say and do what you want to keep you around-usually the bare minimum is all thats necessary if the girl has low standards but at the end of the day-he doesn't really care about you or if he hurts you..

[dontaskme]

Guys are very explicit with what they want. They're not into mind games. If this dude wants you to be more than just a FWB, he'll tell you, otherwise, don't count on it to be more than what it is.

[dickriculous]

Listen to Wakeup OP. Just use common sense here, YOU want to advance the relationship, therefore YOU should make the effort to do so.

If he says yes, yay!

If he says no, then you know that this was never going to become a committed relationship in the first place so you can cut your losses and move on, thus the worst case scenario is still the lesser of two evils compared to hanging on to empty hope.