Girlfriend always wants sex :(

[Mark29]

It seems that my GF is an addict. She will never admit it but it's really becoming annoying.

When we were dating she revealed things about herself like enjoying sex lots and doesn't mind doing it if she isn't in a relationship. She also revealed about 30 1 night stands and went as far as to tell me things she did in detail. Obviously sign's of a high sex drive.

Perhaps to her it was all normal and she seemed proud of it. As the relationship grew though she realised it's nothing to be proud of or brag about.

In our relationship a day never passes without her mentioning sex at least 10 times. Often it is via text messages. Even when she isn't turned on she will turn a general conversation into sex talk. Once she was at the pub with friends and was uploading pictures of drinks to facebook... Yet at that time she was texting me claiming she's so turned on and going into graphic detail about what she wants to do to me.

Every time she has a shower she will make sure I know about it and start a sex texting conversation and include pictures of her body. We have been together for 8 months... Yet in that time I have been sent more than 250 naked/intimate pictures.

In person she is sex crazy. During drinks at the pub she will talk about what she wants to do when we get home. We never get through a film because she is always trying it on. She clearly expects it multiple times a day... If I don't feel like it for a few days in a row when we are together, she get's pretty upset, says it feels like rejection when she want's it and I don't.



I have had quite a few relationships myself, and have never experienced this.

To me, sex is something that happens when both people are in the mood at the same time. There should be no time frames as to how many times it should happen a day and certainly other things in the relationship should be allowed to happen instead of sex getting in the way.


I have spoke to her many times about this but nothing changes. Aside from her claiming that it feels like rejection when she tries it on and I don't want it, she says that the reason she wants it so badly is because she loves me and finds me so attractive (From her past, that isn't fully the case as she had a high sex drive before she met me). She also strongly denies being a sex addict.

At current it's a thing where I feel sex is forced. I have to do things with her, as much as she want's it because if I don't, she will get upset and says about feeling rejected.

Often I have to make excuses. Like once she was trying it on for the 6th time that day. I thought of something off the top of my head and told her there's no time for it as I have planned a meal at a restaurant for us.

Other times, especially with the dirty texts, I have to not reply and pretend I have fallen asleep/busy with something else. Because if I divert the conversation away from sex, she gets that rejection feeling and isn't happy.


Any advice as to what I can do? Thanks

[Xelah]

This maybe just me because i have an extremely high drive but dont complain bro !!!! she wants sex loads , what man doesnt want that man ! but on a serious note if its too much for you simply talk to her about it

[Mark29]

Well you are right there and perhaps in theory it seems like any man's dream.

I gotta admit that previously I did have quite a high sex drive also, but this is just beyond any reasonable level. I want a relationship for everything... of course sex but the friendship, plans, cuddles and a film, days out.

I have spoken to her about it, numerous times but it always comes back to the same old things. She claims when she tries to start something and I don't want it, she feels rejected as it's a huge part of a relationship. Or even will tone the naughty texts down a little bit... however, within a few days she is back to the same ways

[TikiStyles]

I had a gf like this once... No one will understand unless they have as well. When you been dating someone 2+ years and they still expect you to **** them multiple times a day they have a problem.

It is definitely one of those things that is annoying while you in it, but you miss it once its gone. I was used to a girl wanted me 24/7 and going back to "normal" girls after that can be a bit disappointing at times

[woody]

Though while you may miss it once it's gone, I understand how a insatiable appetite for sex could leave any self respecting romantic man wondering wtf? and more like a piece of meat rather than someone to love and hold, to make love to rather than using as a toy. exhausting I imagine.

I think your girl has a problem that a sex therapist may be able to help with. YOu have to wonder though, if your not keen to keep up and she does have an actual issue, where's she going to get it from? and then the whole trust issues will surely stem. Bummer situation man as as someone else said, her drive would be many men's dreams come true but not all.
Suggest she speaks to someone about it. Other than that, I don't know what else to say, sorry. But good luck man

[Mark29]

Thanks guys, appreciate the input.

I can agree with missing it when it's gone. That's what I know what will happen if I got out.

At first I was ecstatic. I could only of dream't of being with someone like that. Then it's at the point it's at now. Not everything has to revolve around sex, but she always finds a way to turn any conversation into sex chat which makes me bored of it (Yesterday we got to 3 messages which were not sex oriented... for the rest of the day they were).

I agree that she does need to see a sex therapist... However, when I mention about things like that, she always reverts back to saying she's not addicted, it's just she finds me so attractive and want's me all the time. I know that's crap though. It's not like i'm the hottest guy on the planet who can drive any girl crazy, plus her past tells a different story of how she was highly sexually active before she even met me.

[Sirjay]

You could try to make it about yourself instead of you. So, for example, instead of saying she is addicted (which sounds accusatory and is just asking for an argument) you could say something about how you feel about it.

You could say, I feel like you don't appreciate the other parts of me because it seems like my only purpose is here to have sex with you. Just say how you feel about it without calling her anything or using "you" as the subject of the sentence.

And as for your situation, I'm surprised you don't like it. I was in a similar relationship, but I enjoyed it. My ex and I were 5+ times every day with one day off a week where I took time to (blissfully and without stress) do other things in my life. After I broke up with her, I had a relationship later with a girl who was not really interested in sex, and that did feel like a huge downgrade until I got used to it.

[TheEvilJester]

I most definitely know how you feel. I'm actually very unlike most guys in that I don't just think about sex constantly and want it as often as possible. Yet, I am also a human being. So, when in a relationship, I would like to have it at least somewhat regularly.

And really, there isn't anything wrong with wanting it as often as she does. A lot of guys would love that. However, what IS wrong is the way she treats you. I've been right there myself. My ex was the same way. You couldn't have a conversation with her without it eventually turning towards sex talk. We could never just live in the moment, because she'd want sex. Then, any time I wasn't in the mood, again it became I was "rejecting her." (Nevermind the fact that her constantly pressuring me was a big part of why I was often not in the mood.) Never for once would she consider that maybe I'm a God Damn human being too, and not just an object to be used. Sounds really weird for a guy to be on that side of the argument, but that is how hyper-sexual people make you feel if you are not hyper-sexual yourself.

So, is there anything wrong with her wanting it so often? No. But, is there anything wrong with you not? NO! So, bottom line, if she can't appreciate you for who you are and work with you to learn a better balance together, then you deserve better. Let her find some hyper-sexual guy who will love that she wants it so often. Sex shouldn't be the end-all be-all, most important thing in a relationship. Sure, it is important, but it shouldn't be THAT damn important. Good luck, friend.

[dontaskme]

No need to change HER, no need to change YOU. You are simply NOT sexually COMPATIBLE. If it's a problem now, it's going to be a problem in the future. Find someone else with the same level of sexual desire as you do. It's not fair to her to keep her in the relationship if you can't satisfy and keep up with her sexual drive.

Nothing wrong in admitting that your relationship simply doesn't work in that department.

[JohanD]

Hehe! You made me laugh with this post! Guys here say that it is every guys dream, but I am not that sure. Don't you get tired of this after 8 months? At least, it feels like she will look other places as soon as you won't be able to follow her sex drive...

[Wakeup]

It seems that my GF is an addict. She will never admit it but it's really becoming annoying.

When we were dating she revealed things about herself like enjoying sex lots and doesn't mind doing it if she isn't in a relationship. She also revealed about 30 1 night stands and went as far as to tell me things she did in detail. Obviously sign's of a high sex drive.

Perhaps to her it was all normal and she seemed proud of it. As the relationship grew though she realised it's nothing to be proud of or brag about.

In our relationship a day never passes without her mentioning sex at least 10 times. Often it is via text messages. Even when she isn't turned on she will turn a general conversation into sex talk. Once she was at the pub with friends and was uploading pictures of drinks to facebook... Yet at that time she was texting me claiming she's so turned on and going into graphic detail about what she wants to do to me.

Every time she has a shower she will make sure I know about it and start a sex texting conversation and include pictures of her body. We have been together for 8 months... Yet in that time I have been sent more than 250 naked/intimate pictures.

In person she is sex crazy. During drinks at the pub she will talk about what she wants to do when we get home. We never get through a film because she is always trying it on. She clearly expects it multiple times a day... If I don't feel like it for a few days in a row when we are together, she get's pretty upset, says it feels like rejection when she want's it and I don't.



I have had quite a few relationships myself, and have never experienced this.

To me, sex is something that happens when both people are in the mood at the same time. There should be no time frames as to how many times it should happen a day and certainly other things in the relationship should be allowed to happen instead of sex getting in the way.


I have spoke to her many times about this but nothing changes. Aside from her claiming that it feels like rejection when she tries it on and I don't want it, she says that the reason she wants it so badly is because she loves me and finds me so attractive (From her past, that isn't fully the case as she had a high sex drive before she met me). She also strongly denies being a sex addict.

At current it's a thing where I feel sex is forced. I have to do things with her, as much as she want's it because if I don't, she will get upset and says about feeling rejected.

Often I have to make excuses. Like once she was trying it on for the 6th time that day. I thought of something off the top of my head and told her there's no time for it as I have planned a meal at a restaurant for us.

Other times, especially with the dirty texts, I have to not reply and pretend I have fallen asleep/busy with something else. Because if I divert the conversation away from sex, she gets that rejection feeling and isn't happy.


Any advice as to what I can do? Thanks

Buy her a "Real Doll" (link conveniently supplied below) Personally I'd order her the "body B" He'll never, ever reject her advances.

She sounds like a manic depressive on a hyper-sexual tangent. Is she off her meds?

[url]https://secure.realdoll.com/male-realdoll2-custom-build/[/url]

[TheEvilJester]

Hyper-sexuality can often be linked with things like manic depression. Does she have a history of anything like that? It can also just be linked to..... hyper-sexuality. LOL! Could just be she has a very high libido.

I can add to the advice I've already given that I do very much agree with what others have said. If you two are not sexually compatible, that isn't likely to change. It is possible that you can learn to come together in a balance that works for you both. Problems is, that requires that you both actually put in the effort. Your girlfriend sounds a lot like my ex, and my ex was never willing to compromise on anything. I was always open to improving as a person, or trying to meet her in the middle. At first she talked a good talk, but NEVER came through. After a while, she gave up even trying to pretend to give a $h*t about any needs other than her own, which is when it was over in my mind, even if we didn't officially end things right away.

Bottom line, if you two don't seem sexually compatible, and one or both of you refuse to work on a mutual balance (whether because you/she cannot, or just do not care to try) then that is not going to work. It is also not likely to change. You certainly deserve better than to be treated like a piece of meat, and emotionally black-mailed into either giving in or feeling bad. Good luck. I hope you find the woman you truly deserve, whether that winds up being her or if you find somebody else someday.

[Wakeup]

Any reason why you don't leave her before she cheats on you so that she feels "pretty" again? You're not making her feel "pretty" when you reject her. Isms, isms, isms.

[Mark29]

Thanks all for the replies and sorry I haven't been online to reply... Had a mini break booked and a few other things which meant I was offline for quite a while (damn I missed the internet).

Anyway...

I think the thing that I find wrong with her wanting it so often is because she claims that it's because she finds me that attractive and it makes her want me so much. When actually I know she always had a high sex drive and is open to sex when not in a relationship. She isn't exclusively gagging for me since she could be in a relationship with any guy and want sex just as much.

When we are together she even goes as far as to leave the room when she feels frustrated, goes to the bathroom, play's with herself and then comes back to my room. Time of the month? She expects it still.

Her friends and family are no different. Most of her female friends are single but are very active in their sex lives (with random guys for 1 night stands). When we meet them they are always so open and give too many details away. Even drop little things in to do with my gf's past like its a normal conversation (Once I recall a friend talking about her 1 night stand a few days previous, then said to my girlfriend "Remember that night you left the club early with that guy. We came back and walked in on you having sex with him on my new sofa")

I think now it seems theres no other option but to carry on. If she cheats, then its better than ending it right now with hurt feelings since cheating will kill off my feelings and give me that closure

[TheEvilJester]

God, your girlfriend sounds so much like my ex. Why would you want to stay with somebody like that? My ex was also way too open about sharing things with anybody and everybody that should never be shared. Maybe I'm just a gentleman, but I think certain things should just be kept to yourself. When did it become okay for people to be so crass and just think there is absolutely nothing wrong with that? What happened to people having some God damn manners?

I mean, I'm no prude. There can be a time and a place for that kind of thing. It's just the time isn't every single second of existence and the place isn't anywhere and everywhere, nor is the person anybody with at least one functioning ear.

I guess maybe I should bow out of this one, because it hits a little too close to home. You basically sound like you are describing my ex, and the way you describe yourself sounds very much like you are describing me. So, my advice would be to break it off and find yourself a true lady and not an abusive, over-sexual deviant. You deserve better than to be treated like this. Let her find some equally over-sexual pig of a man and be happy with him. You deserve a girl who will appreciate your rare gift of not being all about sex virtually 24 hours a day, 7 days a week like most men.

Sounds like you aren't ready to do that, though, so I'll just wish you the best of luck. I hope things work out for you one way or another.