Past baggage vs women's intuition

[Evelyn1891]

I just need to write this. And maybe get some advice. Opinions. Similar stories. I don't know. I need to write.

I've been seeing a man for 7 weeks. Our first date lasted 15 hours. We slept together. Each additional date was as long. In the last 2-3 weeks I've practically been living at his place. I've met most of his friends. His ex wife knows about me. His two kids spend a lot of time with us and love me and vise versa. I told him on date 1 I couldn't handle him seeing or sleeping with anyone else. He agreed.

His past. It's a little checkered. Can't get into it all here but he was in 3 long term relationships where he says he didn't cheat PHYSICALLY. emotionally, digitally, yes. Divorced once. Another marriage annuled. Between long term relationships he's dated A LOT of women. A lot of ****ing gorgeous women. Models. Actresses. A lot.

I am cute. Don't get me wrong. I'm attractive. In a school girl Snow White kinda way. Id make an excellent wife. A great mother. I am in no way similar to the slew of his recent women. He's made comments on how much he loves my tiny waist. Which you'd think
Is a compliment but it makes me
Worried he won't love me if it
Gets bigger. And I'm at a thinner point in my life. I'm becoming paranoid to eat. But that's my crazy not his right?

He is near professing love. He talks about the future. He tells me he adores me and how beautiful I am every day. It really seems sincere. He is one of the kindness sweetest men I've ever met. He treats me like a princess.

But I still can't shake the fact I'm afraid he loves me because of timing. Because I'm kind. Because I'm great w kids. But I can't help be worried he's gonna eventually find someone who looks more like his "ideal". I've mostly said this to him. And he assures me all the past women were gross swallow women who all ran together and I'm
Special etc.

I've been seriously lied to and cheated on in the past. Am I just paranoid because of MY issues? Or are they gut instincts that I should be listening to? It's really hard to tell the difference. But I don't wanna be a cold closed off human. He seems special. I want this to work.

There are other silly issues: he's a bit of a mess. More than a bit. I couldn't live in his current apt. He's on his phone and social media A LOT and I get paranoid. Kids are sweet but certainly add a lot of issues to a relationship. He's a social media junkie and has put up no pictures of us. Could this be because we haven't discussed that? Or is that a red flag? I am positive his close friends know about me. I've met them. Also, he's a serious outgoing flirt. He knows this has sabatoged past relationships but it's who he is and he swears on a bible he's never cheated on a partner. But it makes me Insecure anyway. But I don't wanna be a crazy girl. I like that he's outgoing and makes friends with everybody. Everybody. I can't say, "be nice to ugly old people only".

Anyway. This relationship is moving fast. And I'm not 20. And I want kids. So I'm ok and happy with that. But I havent been able to return his near professions of love. I think I'm too afraid I'm gonna totally give in and he's gonna disappear and I'll lose it.

When were together, I'm
Happy and calm. As soon as I'm away, I'm a nervous wreck. He's done nothing to make me feel this way. And I've asked him a million times if he's got any sort of female situations going on, flirtatious, anything. And he swears no. He'd have to be satan to be lying. Or the best liar on the planet. But still, I have an uneasy feeling.

This is the longest post ever. So thank you if you've actually read it all. PS, if it matters, he's 36. Im 33. Should I just let go of my past, stop
Looking at his social media, trust him, let go and enjoy the ride? And if I get hurt, so be it? Maybe my hesitations are my own baggage and not "women's intuition"?

I want this to work. I think he might be a serious catch. I don't wanna **** it up. But I'm paranoid he'll cheat. I'm paranoid I'm not enough, physically.

He's begged me to be open and honest and I am but I don't wanna be that "crazy" girl. He said "I'm falling in love with you" tonight and I couldn't respond. Not because I'm not falling for him...but I just couldn't say anything.

What to do.

[pcmaster]

So you like this guy and want to keep him but you are taking this so serious that it makes it only harder. Think you shouldnt think that hes a good catch and that you wont meet guy like that again. Usually guys makes this mistake - think they will never meet a better girl. #
Cure for your problem is be more simple. Thread him like any other guy because after all hes just a guy. Basically if you will be afraid to lose him - it will increase chances of losing the guy. What you need to do is visualize the positive outcome and that will take pressure off. And give you more energy to ta action.

Also communication is key. Relationship are as good as good is communication.

[TablesandChairs]

Gut instincts vs. paranoia. Hard to tell the difference sometimes, for sure. But I don't think intuition is this mystical thing we make it out to be; I think we're subconsciously picking up little bits and pieces that we process later on or that we can't really make sense of in the absence of absolute fact. Whenever I've said 'I just have a feeling', it hasn't been just that - for example, 'I just had a feeling my ex wasn't being honest' but there were a lot of signs...signs you could equally

Anyway - that said, you've only known this guy for 7 weeks. As fast and fabulous as it has been; you're yet to form a concrete picture of who he is. You've picked up on flirtatiousness, beautiful ex girlfriends, an obsession with social media and your tiny waste, as well as numerous failed relationships and flings...he never 'cheated' on these women...but his definition of cheating excludes quite a few things. This could all mean something...or not. Keep your wits about you, don't go starving yourself and focus and perhaps take a small step back - even if it's only a mental step that won't be obvious to him.

[katyk]

Woah....slow down girl.......seven weeks is no time at all to be forming all these questions. IMO he should not be introducing you to his children even - far too soon to introduce - yet another- - woman in his life! If I, on an anonymous forum, can sense your urgency to 'settle down and have kids' then he no doubt can also. Who knows if he means what he says? Talk is cheap anyway...... "I love you'" often trips off peoples tongues these days like "God Bless you". You hear it all the time on transport with people on mobile phones, not only to their partners/spouses but friends and family also! I am sure he does think you are cute but whether he wants to spend the rest of his life with you or you him is another matter. Why not just concentrate on getting to know each other properly first?

edited for spelling