Am I being paranoid?

[BeeMcGee]

I am a newlywed. I married the man I cheated on my husband with.
I was unhappily married for 27 years. I stayed because I never had the strength to leave.
I met this wonderful man whom I fell in love with.
We were both married at the time. We had an affair, separated from our spouses, divorced them, and then married each other.
Having said that, here is my dilemma:
How can you automatically trust each other when you both cheated on former spouses? Trust takes time to build; this should be common sense.
My spouse's most comfortable and preferred method of communication is through emails and messaging.
We had agreed initially that we would not cultivate "personal" relationships, discussions, with the opposite sex because it leaves a door open for opportunities to get involved in inappropriate conduct. (something we both have done before)
We felt that our relationship is so precious and important that we will not put it at risk, and we will protect it like we never have in other relationships.
Two days ago he told me that he sent an email to a co-worker who is ill to find out how she is doing. Without discussing with me, he includes me in the email as being concerned for her well being. I don't feel this way. He never asked me if I wanted to be included in this email.
This woman lives in our neighborhood and is someone he wanted me to befriend because he wanted us to associate with them.
She is not warm or polite or have any social graces.
So he emails her and she emails him back and invites us to their Xmas party.
I find out he is emailing other female acquaintances to see how they are doing, etc.
This whole time, (been married 7 months) I have been guarded in my communications with the opposite sex, out of respect for him, and because I truly wanted to protect our marriage, work on it.
I feel so disappointed. I thought we were on the same page, but obviously not.
So, after a huge argument, over messaging, I told him that this door has been opened by him, and that I am free to communicate and email other men and to show concern and empathy for them, even though he knows I am vulnerable at times and that this will open doors, and can be dangerous to our relationship.
Have I lost my mind? Or does this even matter?
BTW, that is how we met, online, chatting because we were lonely.

[Wakeup]

He's addicted to gleaning that attention of women. You ask him to get the **** off the computer on his own or he gets the help from a 12 step programme to stop or you will leave him. Mean what you say.

You started out on a foundation built in sand and this is the first cave in on itself.

You seem to be no better... the first thing you reach out for is to have the free conscience to do your own online phishing. Get marriage councelling and the two of you do not go online to any chat rooms, social media or talk to any member of the opposite sex.

If you don't, it's only a matter of time until the two of you are completely ignoring one another and putting all your emotional energy into someone new.