+ Follow This Topic
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Why did he do tha!?!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    9

    Why did he do tha!?!

    Ok so....
    Met a guy online dating. After chatting we met for coffee and then he said lets have dinner. We made a dinner date. I really liked him...lots of chemistry. When the bill came I grabbed it and he said lets split that and I said no its ok I will get it. i'm sure he had no idea that the bill was $80. He said thank you and we parted. I havent heard from him since which has been 2 days yet he has been online at the dating site lots!! Why didn't he just sau I appreciate the offer to pay the bill but there is no chemistry for me so I would prefer to split it. Pond scum!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Surrey, BC
    Posts
    15,542
    You made the most classic dating mistake, paying for the bill. By aggressiveness grabbing the bill, that says to the guy you are not interested in him and changed your mind, and you don't want to feel obligated to him. In a way it emasculated him. And quite frankly it was rude of you. You should have simply offered. He probably did like you but was stunned by your actions....and later thought you didn't want another date.

    Tip: first coffee date, it's ok to pay your half, but if he insists, let him pay. Second date, if he is the one to ask you out, he pays simple as that. If you ask him out, you pay, but if he insists, let him pay. Men don't mind if a woman offers to pay, it's a nice gesture but they feel better if they pay.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by cindymae View Post
    Ok so....
    Met a guy online dating. After chatting we met for coffee and then he said lets have dinner. We made a dinner date. I really liked him...lots of chemistry. When the bill came I grabbed it and he said lets split that and I said no its ok I will get it. i'm sure he had no idea that the bill was $80. He said thank you and we parted. I havent heard from him since which has been 2 days yet he has been online at the dating site lots!! Why didn't he just sau I appreciate the offer to pay the bill but there is no chemistry for me so I would prefer to split it. Pond scum!!
    How can he be pond scum when he did offer to pay half??
    Last edited by smackie9; 17-12-14 at 10:33 AM.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    14,110
    Have you contacted him and he ignored you?
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    9
    Yes he has ignored me.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    14,110
    Then let it go and next time, as Smackie said just offer to pay your half and let him decide if he'll pay or he'll let you pay your half. I doubt that the is the reason he's ghosted on you though... that's hardly a reason too because I think that if he actually had the same in person connection to you that he had during chat then he wouldn't let you paying stop him from trying to at least score with you.

    Don't let it discourage you if he didn't feel the connection. It happens all the time and you will find that you don't always connect either. However; on your next chit chat with a guy you find you're connecting with online, get the first meet arranged quickly... no emailing/texting for weeks on end because doing that makes it more disappointing if they do shitty things like just stop responding to you. There are plenty more where he came from so keep plugging away and forget about him. If he re-surfaces with some lame excuse why he didn't respond to you then just ignore him... better yet, block and delete him now so he can't ever reach you.

    Good luck next time.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •