Sorry I can't stick around

[katyk]

Hi guys, I came onto this forum a couple of months ago as I felt I might be able to help people with my experience of life and problems I have encountered both personally and via friends. I never pretended I have all the answers, just post as I saw it! When I came on, I was surprised at how many 'views' posts got but how little actual comments were made. Now I know why! This board has a couple of cyber bullies [MENTION=76442]dontaskme[/MENTION] for one! This woman feels it is HER board for some reason and nobody else should offer any different opinion or else she is just plain rude to them. Good luck to you all but I will be removing myself so.....she wins. Which is, I am guessing, why so many others don't bother.

[pcmaster]

I actually like you katyk. Noticed that you have some real experience behind you posts and you been smart too.
I actually went to other forum too because of this bully. I reported her too and think she will get banned for good. Think she need to rest.
This forum is usually very nice place. And theres still many topics thats not touched by troll. I believe this forum will be beautiful again as it once was. So come back later when you ready.

[TablesandChairs]

Hi Katyk,

Try to ignore anyone who thinks their advice is above all others. Truth is, when people ask for advice - they don't want just one person's advice or opinion, what makes a forum good is input from many users, from various walks of life and with difference experiences, views and so forth.

I give advice as I see it - truth is, we only know one side of the story and who knows how much bias is involved - it's up to the poster to figure out what they want to listen to or what resonates with them.

[dontaskme]

Hi guys, I came onto this forum a couple of months ago as I felt I might be able to help people with my experience of life and problems I have encountered both personally and via friends. I never pretended I have all the answers, just post as I saw it! When I came on, I was surprised at how many 'views' posts got but how little actual comments were made. Now I know why! This board has a couple of cyber bullies [MENTION=76442]dontaskme[/MENTION] for one! This woman feels it is HER board for some reason and nobody else should offer any different opinion or else she is just plain rude to them. Good luck to you all but I will be removing myself so.....she wins. Which is, I am guessing, why so many others don't bother.

Why don't you take some Valium or smoke something to hold your horses down? This is the internet woman where you are interacting with strangers. Why would you let some internet strangers bother you? I don't know you, you are insignificant to me, therefore, you should treat me the same way!

However I want to approach the posters is up to me, not to you. That's called individuality. I don't have to identify with the norms here. You challenge my ideas and my way, I challenge you back, either you agree to disagree, walk away or keep going. That's how a forum works.

You're telling me that i assume things yet you do the same by saying that I based things on what my dad says and to get a life. You don't even know me. That being said, unlike you, I don't need any validation from anyone here in this forum because I know myself so most of the time, I just end up lol'ing.

If you're not up to any challenges, the you need to stop questioning other posters and just go on with your opinions according to your "experiences". Like T&C wrote, who knows what the real story here, and for the most part, the OP's are looking for more than one opinion. Towards the end, it's still up to the OP's to decide on what they want to do.

[Wakeup]

Well there is a saying: "If you can't take the heat then it's best to get out of the kitchen" Sad thing is Op is that you are viewing this as a who "won" and who 'lost" situation which is all about your ego.

This is a message board where people come to get advice and opinions and if we all had nothing but positive, "what they want to hear" type advice that poo/pooed and coddled then NO ONE WOULD LEARN ANYTHING different then what they they are already doing. Now, if what they were doing was working for them, then this board wouldn't need exist.

There will be differing opinions and if someone challenges yours then why run away from a good debate and a chance to make your point more clear and perhaps even hammering home why you have such a thought?

I found that YOU critiqued others posts far more then anyone often calling people rude for their straight shooting or debating a post to show you didn't agree rather then just addressing the Op... which is what you say in your opening post what you came here to do.

So: If you're incapable of debate and or hearing that your opinion isn't as accepted as you'd hoped it would be then yes, maybe this place isn't the right one for you. However; if you actually came here to give help through your own experience and observations in life then I question why you're leaving because what I or Don'tAsk or anyone else that you may consider a "bully" has nothing to do with your original goal.

- - - Updated - - -

BTW: There is No One on this board that thinks their advice is "above all others." Some people are just seeing things outside of the box and reading between the lines of an opening poster's one sided story.

E.g.: I like to hang out with my male friend but my boyfriend is controlling and insecure. Well.. sorry Op... but you're acting inappropriately with your male "friend" and you would make Jesus insecure. You see in this e.g. the Op fails to see her behaviour is inappropriate for someone who is in a committed monogamous relationship. If we all just concentrated on the question and not looked at the whole picture then how would she ever see where she's causing a lot of her own grief? As the thread goes on, Katyk responds with "wow some of these posts are outright rude and then goes onto debate the opinion of who she thinks has been rude wherein if you (Katyk) had just given your opinon, then you wouldn't have the ego hit you seem to have taken, you'd give your own advice to the op and your day would go on.

BTW: Did you know that starting a flaming thread (like this one) about another poster would likely get You banned in many (most?) other forums?

Be cool and do what you came here to do and like I said, if you can't do that then I wish you well at your next cyber stop.

[lovebroken]

Don't go katyk. You give thoughtful, good advice. I appreciated your posts on my pet thread as well.

This is the time of year people get most depressed and could use comfort and support, even from online strangers.

The forum has a feature I believe that lets you block posts, would be in your settings somewhere, if you can't find it you could ask the webmaster to go into your account and block the screen names you are bothered by? Someone else who has used that feature here should also be able to tell you exactly about it too.

Just wanted to say after reading your thread that I like you and your contributions here. Have a nice upcoming Christmas.

[Wakeup]

Go into your profile... click on "Edit Ignore List" and just type in the name(s) you wish to block and then hit save.

[JohnPeel]

I am sorry you can't stick around. You have been of great help and support to me.

This forum has helped me understand much. Take care of you, and thanks for all your support.

I have to add, I also agree that you should not be letting the way in which others respond in a thread, make any difference to your own opinions and the way you respond. They might not like what you have to say, as you might not like what they have to say, but the person who is asking for help by starting the thread, is very much in need of all the best support he/she can get.

[Wakeup]

but the person who is asking for help by starting the thread, is very much in need of all the best support he/she can get.

Which of course also includes things the Op may not want to hear as well because there are those that like to pacify, those that like to pacify with some insight that the Op may be missing and then there are those that leave the "pacifying" to others while just shooting straight from the hip.

Its all educational to the person coming her for that support.

[breathe123]

Sure you can stick around ~ so stick around & do what lovebroken suggested you, foe annoying people.

[TheEvilJester]

I, for one, would be very sorry to see you go. I think you've had a lot of helpful advice, and I think a lot of folks will be missing out if you are not around.

I will say this, though. I can understand how you feel. I do think there are some members of this board who tend to be a little harsher in the delivery of their advice than I may personally think is necessary. Granted, sometimes that kind of harshness IS very much appropriate, just not all the time.

The thing is, most of the folks I've seen who deliver a harsher approach than I personally may, I've often found that I very much agree with their advice, even if I don't necessarily agree with the method in which it was delivered. So, it could just be me, but I do not get the impression (at least in most cases) that they mean to be rude or adversarial. More so, they just take a more no-nonsense approach. Again, I honestly do think that is very much needed sometimes. It is good to have a blend of differing opinions.

When it comes right down to it, though, the Internet is full of people with a rougher approach, and even is full of people who ARE cyber bullies. Unfortunately that is unavoidable. So, if somebody does something you think is rude, it is really best just to ignore them.

I certainly cannot speak to the interactions you have had with dontaskme, since I was not involved. However, I can say that I have always found dontaskme to be tough but fair. She's one of those folks who may take a more "tough love" kind of approach than I personally would, but I often must say I find myself agreeing with her overall message nonetheless. Sometimes, people need a good verbal lashing just as much as they need support. It can be easy to mistake this as somebody being rude. Trust me, I think we all know how easily something like that can turn into an argument. And, heck, often times both sides really agree more than they are realizing.

At the same time, I also think your approach is very much needed, and your advice is often very caring and helpful. So, I certainly hope you do not deprive us of it.

I hope you ultimately choose to stick around. I can understand, though, if you won't. Truthfully, though, if somebody does try to get you into an argument, or try to belittle your advice, why let them bother you? You are helping the original poster, and that is all that really matters.