Greeting from United Kingdom.

Hi everyone, I am Chinese Asian girl who currently stay in United Kingdom. Recently I have get myself into a new relationship with a British guy who I met online. We met after chatting with each other for 1 month, and I even went to the place where he stays. All of these happened just for a blink of second which I think is ridiculous and hard to believe. He is a nice guy, but he has his own temper. I feel scare whenever he gets anxious because he will just shout or swear at me. I have tried not to argue with him, tolerate his temper and just be nice with him. He told me whenever he be with me, he feel comfortable and he loves me. But I wondering why whenever we walk passed crowd of people, he will not hold my hand or just let it go. Seriously I feel insecure and at that moment I feel that he doesn't really love or care about me. Once in a while, I would ask him "Do you feel ashamed of having an Asian girlfriend?", and he replied, "Of course not, if I feel ashamed I might not introduce you to my family members and my friends." I know guys easily get annoyed when you repeatedly asking the same question. *I will get use to it.* This is what I told myself. Sometimes I wondered, I am not ugly, and I have good family background, educated...but why did I chosen him to become my new boyfriend? I didn't really know his past, and didn't really understand him in real. Once he had told me, "You have no idea about the life that I have been through. My childhood is a trauma for me. My dad left when I was young and my mom died recently. I left home at such a young age and I have been through up and down which you might not even believe. I love my ex-partner but she is too nasty. Tried to be nice to everyone but ended up people treated me like shit." Seriously, I feel pathetic and how much I wish I can protect and give him lots of love. I don't ask him to buy any luxurious products for me, and I am not seeking any returns from him. However, how much I wish he can be more sincere... I didn't hide anything from him. He want to use my phone, straight away I just gave it to him. Once I tried to use his phone, he just grabbed it away and not saying anything. From that day onward, I told myself that this is his own privacy and I should respect that. But I question myself, "Why he can use my phone freely but I can't?" My ex partner, a kind and caring young man, allowed me to use his phone freely and didn't hide anything from me, nothing. I saw he did message with some random hot girls which I don't know and don't really want to know, whether they are flirting with each other or not. He told me "Those girls are just my ex high school mates and I don't flirt with them. Don't get jealous, who is the one that I brought back home? You. So please don't get jealous like a kid." I noted and not question him anymore.
When I went to grocery shopping with him and his dad, he just walked with his dad and ignored my existent. I mean, is that nothing wrong about it? I don't really know the culture, but my ex will always be with me when we went to shop with his mom or dad. I was angry at that time, he noticed but he got mad at me as well. Whenever I get angry or upset, I will not shout or scream or make a fuss, but I will remain quiet and try not having further conversation with other people. Ended up is me who said sorry to him because I thought about the scenario. Perhaps he just want to get more attention from his dad. However, as a young girl who lives in this new country alone, how much I wished he can just hold my hand tightly not matter where we go. Maybe I am selfish and shouldn't have this kind of thought. I should be more understanding.
He smokes and drinks as well. I asked him not to smoke too much because I know this will shorten his life. He is not alcoholic and does not get drunk easily. He likes tea very much, probably 10 cups per day. How much I wish he could just lower down the consumption because is not good for his health. I don't know but should I just...leave him to do whatever he want or control him? If we both really be with each other, how much I wish he can stay longer than me...but he does not care about his own health which in turn make me feel very sad. And how much I wish we both can have lovely breakfast together. He eats whenever he feels hungry.
Sometimes I wondered why he see "Chinese" like shit but he still be with me? I mean if he really love me, he should respect my country and learn about my culture as well, am I right? He just look down at every Chinese and Asian people and think British is the best among the others. Yes, I do admit that UK is a developed country, but that doesn't mean that you should look down at Asian people. I mean every races have their own good and bad, and as a human, you should respect other races as well. I am not trying to spoil his reputation even though you all (readers) have no idea who he is. One and two of my friends did know about him from me. All of them advised me to leave him because they think he is not the right one for me. But I couldn't Most of my friends they are having good relationship, which I have once experienced before but my parents didn't agree me and my ex to be together. They hope I can search for an educated man from my uni, because both of us will share common interest together. They didn't know how lonely I am, always alone...
Whenever I feel sad, I will just bare it myself, because if I show out my feeling, my parents will be worried about me. I do hope he can be the one who can lead me forward, and understand me fully. However, I couldn't expect more from him because I know he can't bare the burden anymore. I should not become his burden but his support. Everyone needs love, but I know he deserves to get more loves than me. Perhaps, I should be more understanding.

Thanks for reading.
Feel free to comment, bad or good I will accept with open heart.