Crushing outside the relationship- pls help

[Yuvalolll93]

Hello everyone, It won't be short but I'm writing here becaue I really need your good advices.

Here it is. Well, i'm 22 yrs old, and im in a relationship with the most beautiful cutest smartest girl I could met, for 2.5 yrs already. (Im a girl).
My beloved girl, decided to fly overseas to work and make some money. We have a huge love to eachother, and we had really tough time before she left,
but we decided to stay together and keep our love as a long distance relationship, while staying loyal to eachother. she's there for almost 7 months.

I actually kinda live at my work, and suddenly I've met someone I didn't expected to meet- we're working at the same place.
I met a beautiful impressive girl, which I'm sure I would date if I didn't was In a relationship. The thing is I get really confused when she's around me,
and I'm of afraid making mistakes. I do not have feelings for her, but I might have a crush on her. It doesn't matter because I really like her company and I really care about her as a friend but shes acting VERY WEIRD lately and I can't understand why.

From the first time we saw eachother, I felt an unusual deep connection between us, And we became close friends. (I have to say It was against all odds because we're working at different environments ). We started texting eachother, in a friendly way.
She knows I have a girlfriend and she really recpects that ( She's very ethical person). The time went by and we started meet eachother outside of work (parties, trips etc)...
But we never talked about having something between us of course. I'm not sure about her feelings toward me, and I get confused trying to over analyse every word she tells me, or every act she does around me. The thing is- I have a girlfriend, which I really love, But im always thinking about the other girl, which making me confused everytime I see her, and I want you to help me understand whats going on, in order to recognize the thoughts in my mind and helping me understand whats the best thing to do due the situation.

This girl is very unpredictable, and very hard to understand. On the one hand I get from her signs that she might be liking me,
On the other hand she's kinda trying to avoid me lately. The thing is, that shes not a person for texting messages. no matter what, when im texting her, usually she'll answer with half sentences.
She actually can send me a message and start a coversation, but then Ill get the feeling like shes doesnt really want to. And it happened A LOT of times. (WTF????) But when she sees me, shes very talkative..

ALSO:

1. Everytime she sees me she has a huge smile on her face
2. She likes to poke and punching me, and make funny mean jokes about me..
3. She can't avoid me when i'm around
4. When I told her someone flirted with me she said "Oh I can understand why"
5. When we were at a party sunddenly she kissed someone in front of me- who's really under her standarts.
6. When she broke up with her gf she told me first
7. Theres always like theres ice wall between us
8. She's always "POPPING UP" when Im a little bit "disappearing"

On the other hand- she stopped texting me.. and I stopped texting her because I started feeling like I was bothering her..
And it freaks me out because I can't understand why. A few days ago she came into my office from nowhere And and said half jokingly " We don't talk to eachother anymore, huh?"... " You don't care about me anymore" " i Have a lot of new things to tell you about " and I've had A lot of things to say but all I could say at this moment was "Its not true! " "you don't text me anymore what do you want me to do? " then I felt bad and texted her " so when we will talk? " and she didnt answer.
since then, she's texting me only if she needs something.

I really love her as a friend.. And I feel like im loosing her.
on the other hand, It'll be better because im in a relationship with my girlfriend and im about to live with her in 2 months.

SERIOUSLY, I dont know what to do.
This girl is freaking me out.

should I check with her whats going on?.. should I stop talking to her?..
What would you do?

thank you for helping


:-)

[woody]

Well, at the risk of stating the obvious man, you uh, already have a girlfriend right? She's away at the moment and this other lady is really raising your eyebrows due to her cool personality amongst other things yes? Yes. Ehem, well, quite the pickle your getting into then.
I would imagine there may be chemistry; viable, tangible chemistry between you two, however I believe she knows your already spoken for hence the occasional aloofness and slight distances.

Bottom line is this: your already with someone. So even if your gob smack blown away by this new lady, you ought not do anything about it until and unless your single again. Believe me, if she is as cool as you think she is, she won't want to be with a guy who'd cheat on his lady with her so mind the temptations to flirt too hard.

You must do right by your present GF first and foremost. Either let her go and do it amicably or re commit and know, there will always be tempting fruit about here and there on our paths. The test of character comes with how we deal with it. Don't feel badly that you find someone else attractive; it's natural. What matters now is how you deal with it.

[Yuvalolll93]

woody, thanks a lot!
I guess you're right.. It's just never happened to me. I've never looked at anybody else besides my girlfriend.
well, I guess I'll stop bothering myself and continue with my life the way it was, trying not to over analyse the other girl.

thank you very much. :-)

[smackie9]

This is normal for anyone that has either been neglected in their relationship or is in a LDR. We all want physical and emotional love, but when it's out of reach, we can find ourselves shifting those needs onto someone else very easily. This is how workplace affairs start because you see them everyday, share a common interest and you start to have a bond. By understanding what is truly going on, you will see it for what it is, just a crush with no real substance to evolve into something else. It's all a matter of keeping your emotions in check. Best of luck.

[woody]

iNteresting point Smackie and one that ripples round the World of relationships really doesn't it.
I didn't even think about that; but it makes me wonder if the O.P is feeling deprived of some connection with his lady (not just the obvious distance) but maybe something else, hence the slight heart pangs towards another gal.

You put things well Smack.

Yes O.P, aside from the long distance, are you in any other way feeling neglected by your lady? Perhaps if you are, that's going to come into play here...

[Yuvalolll93]

TY smackie.. it's a very good point. I'm sure it takes a huge part of what i'm feeling.
The long distance is killing is me, And I might naturally search someone to fill the emptiness I feel right now.

I do not feel neglected in my current relationship.. I know my girlfriend loves me and she does the best to talk with me everyday, considering the differences in hours.
Maybe I'm a little bit bored.. trying to find out if the other girl likes me or not. I know I can cross the red line for sure (sadly) If this girl will get too close to me
She causes me feeling a lot of passion that I did not remember that I had.

[smackie9]

That kind of thing can really blind side you, but I assure you down the road you will look back and wonder "what the hell was I thinking?"