Place before Relationship, but more than just friends?

[vegeta183]

There is a girl who goes to my college, i apparently added her on facebook awhile ago, probably after i seen her post about a party or making new friends or something on the college fb page, i didnt even remember that i added her. Her friend who knew who i was saw that she didn`t accept my friend request, and she knew who i was, so she mentioned that i was a really cool guy and told this girl to accept my friend request. She just did a couple of days ago, which is pretty much right when i came back to my parents place which is 2 hours away from the college, and im not returning until next semester.

So basically what happened is i started talking to this girl online, and we get along great! were both really similar, but i wont be able to actual meet her for about 3 weeks. Since she added me, we have been getting along great, i really am liking her a lot, and she always says how im really awesome. I have very little dating experience (she doesnt have very much at all either, still virgin and only ever kissed one guy) and what usually happens to me is i end up being a really passive but nice guy, and the girl ends up thinking of me as just a "friend" and that is my biggest fear right now for the two of us.

Things have been going great with this girl though, i told her all about how we have parties at my house all the time, she said she wanted to come over the first weekend that i get back to party and then drink and crash at my place. were gonna start going to gym and working out together as well, and she always tells me how she can`t wait to actually meet me in person and do all this stuff with me. everything's going pretty much perfect, and i feel like if i was to ask her about a relationship she would want one as well, after we meet up. I thought this at least, but now im starting to get second thoughts about her maybe just thinking of me as a friend and not liking me in that kind of way.

Me and her literally talk on facebook to each other like all day, until one of us falls asleep we talk pretty much every night. But lately ive been thinking that maybe she just thinks im a cool and nice guy and only wants to be "friends". She even said a couple times that shes glad she met a "friend" like me, so I wasn`t sure if that was a good or bad thing. I don`t really want her to think of me that way as i want an actual relationship with her. I dont necessarily want to ask her to be my gf just yet, as i myself would also like to at least meet her once in person before we go that far. But i don`t want to get friend zoned either during the 3 weeks before i even see her in person. It`s almost like I want to ask her to be in a potential relationship, at least be open to the idea of it. Should I try being more flirty when i talk to her? Or should I just talk to her like I have been up until now, and wait until she comes over and try to make a move then?

I guess I here most people refer to the stage im talking about as the 2 people seeing each other. I want us to like almost be in a relationship but not quite there yet. Is this a childish thing to want?

[kp15]

i think you should be a little flirtier now. See how she reacts to that and maybe that will answer some of your questions about how she feels about you.

[lavinia808]

Tbh her referring to you as a friend probably means she only wants friendship at this point. BUT she is very inexperienced so it is also possible that she just has no idea what she's doing. Regardless, I think you should ask for her number so you can text instead of facebook, solidify a plan to meet up, and be more flirty then. Tell her what you like about her honestly, but without asking for a relationship. Flirting online with someone you barely know can be weird.

[smackie9]

Wrong wrong wrong...you must be a serial friend zoned guy am I right? This is not how you get a GF. It doesn't matter if she's inexperienced or not, you are acting like her best female friend. You call it being passive, I call it "NO CONFIDENCE". worming your way into a girl's heart by being her buddy doesn't work. I'm sure you have tried and failed other times doing this. You keep saying this time will be different, I will slowly gain her trust by having a semi not quite there relationship so she can see what a great BF I will make, and how well she will be treated. STOP IT! This fails! She already said "friend" it's over. You don't talk of plans of going to a gym and crap to someone you have a romantic interest in. If she isn't talking about being physical with you in some way, like holding you or kissing you , it's not going to happen.

You talk to someone in person or on the net you have an attraction to, you start to hit on them, flirt, hint, tease. Shy girls like her are putty in the hand to any assertive, confident guy. You need to change your ways or you will never get any.