Office Romance

[nevers1057]

I work in a very professional setting, however, fraternization/dating is not forbidden. I met this girl when I started working there. After a few months of flirting and not knowing where I sit with her. I told her, in a private setting that was away from the office how I felt about her. After some lengthy silence, she finally responded that she did not know what to say and that we work together. I don't know what that means, does it mean that she is not interested and this topic should not be breached because we work together or does she not know where she sits with this or is she possibly interested but is scared of the potential fall out? I don't know where to go from here.

[smackie9]

She's not into you obviously, and now she is weirded out by it. You don't have much experience do you?


Tip: you do not go cold cocked and tell them you have feelings for them. That is just creepy for an adult man to do. You like a lady, you simply ask her out on a date. Her answer will let you know her level of interest. That's how it's done.

[nevers1057]

You assume much more than I said. She asked me a question that elicited that response, granted she probably did understand the question scope of the question she was asking? In my defense I didn't think there was a chance in hell she would have asked that question. If I thought there was, I would have avoided her. Neither of us were ready for what unfolded, and instead of lying to her I told her the truth. However, people are starting to make me question the wisdom of that.

[smackie9]

Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if some co-worker just pulled you aside out of the blue and told you they had feelings for you.....wouldn't that feel out of place and make you feel uncomfortable? The problem is, is that you started playing out a relationship with this girl in your head before even asking her out on a first date. You like someone, ask them out on a date....simple is better.

[Wakeup]

Learn from your mistake. Next time someone is dumb enough to ask you if you like them (I'm assuming that's what she asked) and you DO like them then why not just say that you find them quite intriguing and would like to get to know them further in a less professional manner. That way if they turn you down then you'll not have creeped them out.

She sounds rather effed up if she was stupid enough to ask you if you liked her instead of just being cold to your pursuit. If she didn't like you back or didn't think dating a coworker was a good idea.

What exactly did she say that made you think it would be a good idea to tell her "how you felt about her" after not even having dated her proper? Or DID you date her proper and will come in after the fact to tell us that too?

I don't know what that means, does it mean that she is not interested and this topic should not be breached because we work together or does she not know where she sits with this or is she possibly interested but is scared of the potential fall out? I don't know where to go from here.

I think you need to ask HER those things.

[michelle23]

It sounds like an excuse.. like she didn't know how to turn you down in a nice way so said "we work together".. honestly i disagree with workplace romances but i know if you meet someone you really connect with, you may cross that line. Her response doesn't really show a romantic or emotional connection. It sounds awkward and like she was put on the spot

[lovebroken]

Most people don't feel comfortable starting office romances, one some places of business frown on it, and two if you have a bad break up you still are stuck working together. It's better to find love outside of work, not inside it, imo.