Hello dear friends,
I stumbled upon this forum in search for help. Me and my boyfriend are both 26, together for 7 years and living together. Not married, no children - just a dog. We have been through thick and thin and I must say he is the best person I have ever met - intelligent, wise, handsome, caring, and recently he started being more romantic too. There is one big problem though - sex.
Since we moved in together, something happened to him - he stopped taking care of himself. Now he always walks around in old clothes, unshaved, bathes once a week, started smoking, piled on weight. I told him several times that these things bother me, he acknowledged it and brushed it off every time. As of this, my sexual attraction to him is below cold zero and I feel awful because when he wants to have sex (and he does want it as much as any young man) I have the physical urge to pull away. When we do have it, I just wait for it to be over.
I know we should talk about it but I can't just tell him "I don't want to have sex with you because you look unsexy and your smell bothers me". I have no idea what to do. He thinks I'm just bored or hormonal or something and always asks me "What do you want to do in bed, we can try anything" - the problem is I don't want to try anything anymore.
I'm really frustrated because - shallow as it might sound - sexual attraction is really important to me. He's such a great person and we've been together for a long time. I thought he was the one for me, but I no longer see him as a "lover", just a person I really care about, as long as we don't have sex. Please help