This is a long story....In short I would love for her to come back...

[adamfool99]

So my story...I'm a 31 year old male. No children, never been married, and recently broken up with. I moved away from my family for work when I was 25. The girl I'm in love with just turned 30. She has a 3 year old son. I met this girl almost 2 years ago playing volleyball. Back then I was recently ending a bad relationship and thats when I met her. She was fun and full of personality. She was also beautiful but I wasn't ready for anything at the time. We started talking and every time we would play, she would make a point to come say hi by running to me and jumping in my arms. It was cute but I wasn't looking. Eventually though, I asked her if she would want to go out sometime. So we decided on going to church together and then having lunch after. It was a fun and very casual time but afterwards nothing came of it. Since I wasn't really looking for anything anyways, I let it go.

So a ton of time goes past, I'd say a good 8 months, I started going out and getting my confidence back. I dated on and off and I started learning how to dance. Things were looking up and funny enough, I started running into the volleyball girl. She danced at the same places I would go. I would constantly see her and at places that I wouldn't normally see her. One night a friend annoyed me to the point where I ended up not going out, however the volleyball girl invited me to hang out instead. So I ended up going dancing with her and her friends. We had a great time and it started becoming a weekly thing. Every time we would be out dancing, she would be by my side and it seemed like we didn't want to dance with anyone else at this point. She would send cute texts saying "You better not find a new dance partner". I started running into her everywhere it seemed. One night I got all of my friends and all of her friends together to go out. At the end of the night, I walked her to her car and we kissed....then kissed again as she drove off. It felt great.

So now we ended up going on dates. Just casual ones since she has a son it was hard for her to constantly find a babysitter. She invited me over to her place to watch a movie late when her son was asleep, and it ended up being a late night thing. Weeks go on and we keep having movie nights at her place, to the point where I end up staying the night. Well the next morning, I ended up meeting her son. Her son was sweet and full of energy. So now she was getting comfortable with me being around her son that I am spending more time at her place. I end up inviting her to a paintball party I had and she ended up inviting her brothers. So now we end up picking up her brothers from her parents house, so within weeks I'm now meeting her family. So I was fine with it but now that I think about it I shouldn't have let her rush these things.

Anyways we had a great time we left early to just be with each other and relax alone. Weeks past and her son is about to go to his fathers for a week for it visitation. During the time that her son is gone, she spent the whole time at my place for the week. Now she worked a lot! She ended up having to bring her work to my place to get things finished. But while we were together, she cooked dinner, we went out hiking and enjoying a park. It was romantic. We spent a lot of the time together, going dancing, cooking, spending time with her sun. She mailed me cookies to my work. We went to the park with her and her son. I remember her telling me her son adores me and how great I am with him. She told me how other guys she dated just were not that great with him. The next day I jokingly (but not jokingly) said when are we going to be Facebook official. We went a concert together and the next day, she made us official. I was on cloud 9 and I could tell she was falling for me. More time passes and we continue to go on dates. She's inviting me to more family events and everything started to feel like a very serious relationship. She even bought us matching His and Hers mugs for her house.

Now me being 31, I'm wanting to know if she can be the one. I also want to have children, so I felt like I needed to find out if I could spend the rest of my life with her. So we were going to have a night out together just shopping and get food after. While at dinner, I casually bring up the conversation about children. All I asked was "So I know you have your son, but would you ever want to have more children in the future?" Her response instantly was a yes. So I started to feel like this could be the one and I started to get feelings more and more. This time its around the middle of October. We continue to date and have a great time, until her son has to leave for a week again. She begins to start getting paranoid about his health and not wanting him to go to her ex's which was fine I understood. So I was supportive in what she wanted to do. She then decided to let him go, but during that decision I could tell something was wrong.

When her son left, we had plans to go to a concert with her brother and his girlfriend. The concert was amazing and we ended up having a great romantic night. It was a late night and I had to work the next day so we took a day for ourselves. Still texting and being our normal cute selves. I bought her flowers mailed them to her work the next day and then we went on our formal fancy dinner plans we had pre-setup. It was another romantic time, but the next day I could tell something was wrong. She was being distant, even though she stayed at my place. Same for the next couple days. By this time it was the day before Halloween. We were carving pumpkins with her sister and his new boyfriend. She was ok at first but at night completely distant. I asked her if she was ok or if there was something wrong, and she said she was ok and then cuddled.

The next day, I didn't hear from her until later when she texted saying "I'm so sorry I'm having a really hard time with some things and feelings and I'm not exactly sure where they are stemming from". I told he to take the time that she needed. She continued to say "I have a lot I need to talk to you about to try and explain what I'm feeling" I was afraid she wanted to break up, so I simply asked her if she was breaking up with me. She said "No I just need to explain what's going on in my head now you may take that info and decide you don't want to continue with this". She then invited me over for a movie with her and her son since she got him back that day. That night when her son went to sleep, she told me how she isn't sure if she wants to have anymore children and that she was afraid that I would walk away. I held her close and I told her that I cared about her. She jokingly asked "Why couldn't you have an have any children." I told her that I wanted her to think about things since she was really feeling down. And I held her close.

Things started getting better the next couple weeks and then she was more proactive again after that. She even said how she was wasn't understanding what she was thinking cause she does want to have more children. However, her work started to pick up and she was starting to become very stressed with it. She would still want me to come over but she had her head buried into her work. There was a time that I needed surgery so she helped me with that, but it ended up being me and her son spending time together as she slept to relax from her job. Things were starting to become very down, but she still invited me to her parents for dinner. Her parents seemed like everything was fine and I was even spit balling ideas about Christmas gifts and places to go with Nicole, which she seemed fine about. Then to lunch with her co-workers the next day. But the rest of the week, she was completely distant from me. We had a volleyball game that Thursday and I went to pick her up, but she was completely gone. She was looking at her computer screen blankly but she still wanted a kiss. We went and played but she was still being distant. We got back that night and I thought she would have broken up with me after the babysitter left, but she didn't. She walked up to me and gave me a hug. I left that night to let her finish her work and kissed her before I left.

The next day she sends me the dreaded text saying we need to talk. Instantly I knew. So I called her and she ended up telling me how with work and her son and her feelings, she felt it was best that we broke up. I asked her if she ever had feelings for me, she said she did but she didn't feel them as strong as I was feeling them (we both did not say I love you during our brief relationship). So I asked her about how to get my things from her place. I told her it may not be best to see her and she offered me to come by and pick up my things the next day when she wasn't home. I tried to fight for it a bit but then felt it was best to accept it and just let her go. The next day I picked up my things, dropped off all of her things and called it a day. That was November 15th.

For the next month I never tried to contact her once. I didn't delete her from Facebook or anything. I didn't call her. I didn't text her. I spent working on myself and trying to get my life back, but it was hard. There were a lot of lonely nights. Lot's of second guessing what I did wrong and what I could have done better. I tried to fix all my wrongs and was starting to get over her until her birthday came on December 7th. I didn't bother to say anything but I noticed that the day after her birthday, she started removing pictures from her Timeline of us and her son and I playing. My mind went into overdrive. She didn't delete the pictures but she just removed them from the timeline, along with the fact that she was ever in a relationship. She left some pictures of me there but nothing that really showed us together. So instinctually, I freaked out in my mind and just broke down and texted her "I know Im a day late but I just wanted to say Happy Birthday". She responded and kept the conversation going. For the next couple weeks we started texting again causally, but it was mostly me starting the conversations. When it got close to Christmas though, her texts started to feel a little more heart felt and I told her that I had a present for her son that I bought the day after I was at her parents for dinner. She told me I could come by and give it to him. So I go over and she is being very friendly but nothing that would seem like she wanted anything else. Her son was all over me though. I told her about exciting things that were happening at work for me. I left feeling like it was progress but still not really feeling how she was feeling.

The next morning though, I saw her text me with "Good Luck today" in regards to my thing for work. It felt really nice since that was the first time she messaged me first since before we broke up. Then even after work she wanted to know how my interview went. So it was nice that she was thinking of me. So Christmas comes and I have this plan to surprise my family back home. I fly home and I text her "Merry Christmas, hope you and her son had a great morning" before I surprise my family. She responds with "Merry Christmas! He did, we've been putting Legos together all morning. How was this morning?!? I've been dying all morning to ask you but I didn't want to interrupt". It felt very heartfelt to me so I decided to see if there was anything more. So I decided after a little small talk, I would say "So, I wanted to throw this out there, but would you like to spend New Years Eve together? I’m fine with going out or staying in, but I couldn’t imagine spending it with anyone else." She didn't respond at all. At that moment I knew she was just not ready. So I needed to know why we didn't completely workout. I felt like there was something still unresolved. So I waited a day to see if I would hear anything but still nothing.

I finally said "Ok, so I take it that your silence is a no. So I have to simply ask, since this has been killing me since we’ve broken up....Why didn’t we work out?" She finally got back to me with "I'm sorry my mom threw her back out yesterday and we had family flying in from Utah and a big dinner at my parents last night. I was caught up with that and forgot to text you back. I'm not sure us spending New Year's Eve together is the best idea simply because it would feel a little like a date situation and that's not where I am and i don't want to be leading you on in any way. I want to be your friend but and be able to be around each other but that's all. I don't know why we didn't work out. My feelings just weren't progressing the way yours were and it wouldn't have been fair for me to let your feelings keep progressing when mine were at a standstill". I told her "Well, I am sorry about your mom. I hope she’s ok. As for friends, I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that anytime soon. My feelings haven’t changed and I still care about you. It just really sucks cause it felt like it came out of nowhere. I do wish you and your son the best though." She then said "I understand that and I can't blame you. I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry. It's not something that I wanted to do or that was easy for me to do but it had to be done and better sooner than later. I wish you the best too."

So at that point, I needed to remove her from Facebook and move on...but I still love her. I would love to win her back, but at the very least get over the pain and sadness I have been feeling. I feel like I have to let go, but I want her to want me. I ask, is there a possibility someday that she may come around or want something?

[smackie9]

Sorry no. She felt since you were asking about having kids, this was going in a direction she wasn't ready for. She got out because she didn't feel the same and it was only fair to end it. You can't force someone to want you. Is it possible? Who knows, but I wouldn't wait too long to try and find out.