relationship potential?

[diomedes]

I tried making this story tolerable by using point form, but facts are necessary and there are many of them. Sorry for the long post.

Our compatibility is extremely strong in terms of personality, education, mental/conversational dexterity, humor, too many other connections to name. We understand each other very deeply and know things about one another that we don't tell anyone else.

Pro (good aspects and facts)
-Everyone that knows us both always asks if we are dating
-Her mom thinks we sleep together and has no issues
-She kept the rose that was given at our dinner in a very nice restaurant. He have dinner at nice places very often, our company is extremely natural, somewhat flirty but extremely measured in that sense.
-She isn't a texter, but I get on average 2 calls from her per day and conversations average at 2 hours, sometimes ending at 4am.
-She has no issue going to stores like la senza and even buying stuff together. I ask her if we can go and buy something from there for my imaginary gf and she didn't hesitate. We did on one occasion buy some very suggestive underwear for her specifically "in case she needs it the next day" when she sleeps over.
-She slept over 3 times (no bed sharing) but she often talks to me about how she likes sleeping with her girl friends and spooning them etc. The one last time we both got very drunk and we're alone and it was planned. We woke and she asked if we had sex.
-our conversations about sex are extremely overt
-she jokes about moving in with me next year
-we went swimming once at the pool late night in my condo, I specifically peaked my gym routine to be appealing and her swimming suit was not very modest. She even walked around my place in her underwear and specifically stood in front of me to show me how nice it is. Also she promised to show me even nicer ones.
-she's introduced me to all her friends, and family. Her mom really likes me and I enjoy talking to her. I met her parents on a special academic occasion of this girls, so they saw how supportive I am. She also asked me to get her flowers for the occasion.
-we often tell each other how much we love one another, darling this and that, but I'm very measured with the complements I give her to indicate my confidence. But many affectionate pet names and she tells me ilu or love you or how much do you love me etc.
- we knew each other as co-workers from about one year back. we became friends and bonded when we both were recovering from recent breakups. For both of us the breakups were extremely severe so there was an emotional connection, this being 8 months ago.
-few months ago we saw a relationship start at our work place with a couple that is very similar to us. We both talk about it and are aware of the implications. We show up at this work place together without any awkwardness (we dont work there anymore but every one is friendly with us)
-While in our friendship stage 4 months ago, we both got into small relationships on the side which were a joke and we both closed them very shortly. In both cases we were the ones to break those relationships.
-physical space with us has grown gradually, we hug freely, play punch, general touching, she demonstrates dance steps with me often, even having me brush her chest a few times with no remark on it being made.
-We both have never been single for this long and both sort of want to mess around with someone. Personally I prefer a relationship but she sometimes says stuff like do you know anyone whos dtf?
-I specifically am very aggressive with opposite sex strategies. I always wait for her to come to me, always give her space, never am needy, use humor and often prepare it for specific occasions, I don't complement her and when uncoordinated guys bug her and tell her she's beautiful we laugh about the texts. She's seen pictures of me when I had single digit body fat and I demonstrated the ability to have control over my fitness and appetite to reach an athletic body recently. I do nothing to seem desperate.
-we both recently had endeavours to catch and attract someone. For her it was a guy that couldn't care less about her and I was there helping her on each occasion, giving second opinions on texts and driving her home on failed attempts (he's a dance instructor, so they have dancing events occasionally) He's really unattractive and incompatible with her and she thinks highly of her appearance and knows he's a joke and "would be terrible in bed". She's recently given up on him. I too made a careful stab at a pursuit and enlisted her girl instincts to give second opinions and advice (some of her advice was extremely sharp and astute and I made her feel I recognized it and valued it). Again, we both declared a close on those attempts.

Con
-She specifically reminds me often how I'm like a brother to her, bff. I might go so far to say its done in a teasing way.
-When my mom asked if it was a new girlfriend (I was on the phone with this girl with my mom around) we both joked that she'd make an awful gf, I was the one that made that statement first she agreed totally.
-She's 12 years younger than me, however the last 2 girls I had relationships with were 15 years younger than me and she has met both of them. That most recent guy she liked and who ignored her was very close to my age. The way she acted indicated she couldn't care less. She has had horrible relationship experiences lately and they were all in her age category.


I'm severely attracted (always have been but it's growing every day) to her, talking to her is an incredible reward in itself, and about last week I realized I'm actually in love with her and when that realization came across it felt horrible because it's extremely strong. Controlling it has made my brain a mental disaster.

So I need sophisticated girl advice now, Which I appreciate. Thank you.

[JChristie]

don't you two work? how can you stay on phone until 4 am!?

you don't specifically say but i get the feeling she is under 25 years old. is that true?

girls definitely like male attention. she knows you are polite and supportive, a good friend.
when she jokes about having sex with you, moving in with you, it is either to throw you a bone, or to send out a feeler to you.

it also sounds like you are trying to date girls significantly younger than you. a 12 year difference is not terrible, but you may have a reputation with these younger girls. a lot of them really aren't interested in older men unless they have a good bank account, and even then, many young girls just want to date guys their age.

since there is a big age difference, she may only see you as a friend. particularly if you still live at home and are in your thirties.

unless you have some money set aside for "marriage", all you can offer is your friendship and love. unfortunately, that often isn't enough.