What is he thinking?

[colemansara176]

So my boyfriend and I dated for a little over a year. He broke up with me a month ago. He said it just wasn't working and he didn't feel the same about me anymore. We ended on good terms though and agreed to try to stay friends. He texts me all the time though. He takes forever to reply but if I go a day or two without replying he will text me with something random that has no purpose (like he's always sending pictures of cute animals because that's what we did when we were together) like he just wants me to reply. Some days his texts are kind of flirty and fun, some days they are sexual, and some days they seem rude. One day he's hot and the next day cold. But he keeps saying things like he doesn't want us to be awkward and he doesn't want me to hate him and he keeps telling me things he misses about our relationship or something he regrets either doing or not doing for me. He also texts me saying that he saw me on campus (we go to the same university) but he won't come up and talk to me and he said he felt bad for not doing so.
I don't really know what he's doing because one day he's really flirty and happy and he texts a lot and the next day he'll barely say anything and when he does he's rude and bitchy. I don't know what is going on with him and why he's acting like this. One of my guy friends says it seems like maybe he misses me and wants me back but he seemed pretty sure during the breakup that he was done and lost feelings for me. He's very logical and he's the kind of guy that you wouldn't think to come back for fear of breaking up again. If that makes sense. What do you guys think?
I honestly don't even know if he wants me back or if I would even take him back for that matter. I'm really happy without him but part of me wants him back. But let's just say he does want me back but is too scared or stubborn to make a move. Or is just scared of it not working out again and breaking up a second time. Is there anything I could do to get him to admit he made a mistake and tell me he wants me back? Can I do something to give him that push to come back, if that's really what he wants?

[Wakeup]

You can give him a push so that he either leaves you the hell alone so you can get over him or so that he asks for you back and you can do that by completely ignoring him or actually asking him WTF his problem is and does he want to continue on in an exclusive relationship.

You confuse one another with the half-assed demoted state of "just friends." Make it either all both in or all both out and staying out.

My suggestion: You don't need this demoted state of "just friends" and you should have never agreed to it so tell him that keeping him in your life in this half-assed friendship is stagnating you from moving on and so you will not be answering anymore of his contact unless it has a subject line of "I made a mistake and I want you back." You best make sure that's what you want first though and for goodness sakes don't wait around hoping to receive that subject line... Just get on with your life without him in it.

Cut the cord.

[colemansara176]

Thanks. I've been ignoring his texts for a few days. He's sent a few pictures of funny things but I haven't replied and I'm honestly feeling really good about it. I like being in control but I want him to KNOW that I'M in control. Not him. I don't want him to think that he can just run back to me for comfort or sex or anything and I'll be so in love with him that I'll do anything. Because I wont. But how do I let him know that?
I just need a guys perspective about what is going on in his head. Like he texts me and says things like he misses certain aspects of our relationship or he regrets not doing certain things and he apologizes for things he did wrong. He even texted to say he saw me on campus, made a lame excuse as to why he couldn't say hi, then when I called him out on his bullshit excuse he said "well now I feel bad. I don't want you to think I'm being rude or dickish. Next time I see you somewhere I'll come say hi". Then we actually saw each other out the other day and he completely ignored me. What's that about? (To be fair I ignored him too though. Like I said I don't want him to think that I'm broken hearted and still in love with him because that's not the case. I want him to know that I'm moving on and I don't need him)
Why does he keep texting like nothing is wrong but won't actually talk to me in person.
I'm done talking to him but I just want to know why he keeps going from hot to cold. One day he texts a lot of cute/funny/flirty things then the next day he's short and rude in his replies.
Plus I keep telling him to come get his shit and he won't. I read somewhere that people will sometimes not get their stuff from an ex because they know that no matter what it will give them an excuse to see the other person. Is he not getting his stuff so that he can use it as an excuse to see me later when he feels up to it?

[Wakeup]

You care too much for someone who doesn't care. What is the big deal about letting him know that you're fine without him? The best way to let him know that is for him to see it in action (whether he talks to you when he sees you or not). As long as you keep him in your life (in any capacity, including in your thoughts or your facebook or any of the other superficial ways you young people are so into these days) you will not get over him and he will continue to rent space in your brain for free.

ZERO contact. Once you do that then you don't have to wonder anything about him because if he wants to know about you or how you're doing he will have to come up to you in person and when/if he does that you can ask him directly what his fvcking deal is.

Oh and never mind telling him to come and get his shit... instead tell him (before you go zero contact) that his shit is packed up and will be left at the front of the house until garbage day where if it's not picked up by then, it will be moved to the curb for pick up.. Or, rent a storage unit and place his shit in it for one week and give him the key and address to the unit. Tell him it will be auctioned off for non payment by the storage company if he doesn't pick up by such and such a date. End that little game that keeps you mired in his crap.

[katherine8788]

I think you dont need to care about him anymore. Cuz a guy who is not determined what he did is not a guy we can rely on in the future. If he texts you, just ignore him and go your own way. Let's think! If he really loves you and needs you, he doesnt need to do that. If he found he had a crush on the other girl, who will endure the pain? No one else but you.
In my opinion, i think love is you have to learn to accept the bad and good aspects of the other if you two want to go further. Not like "u've changed, not the old you anymore, so lets break up". It's so unacceptable!

[smackie9]

How do you know that it is actually him texting you? It could be one of his mates messing with you. That would explain why he seems to be acting weird, and is inconsistent with his messages.