No efforts from her part

[polarbear33]

Hello Everyone,

Finally I managed to find a girl close to my age who shares the same interests on okcupid. Not some gorgeous looking but at least single and we are kind of alike.
I been chatting with her for 2 weeks before we had our first "date", I wouldn't call it that since it was just eating a pizza together and talk. What was annoying from my part is that she almost never started any conversation, so if we would just sit there eating then we would've sit there quietly if I don't push with talking.

Same goes for chatting, writing her every day that I thinking about you, and how are you doing etc but she would never write me by her own.
I really don't know what to take out of this situation, she is single, I consider myself handsome but she makes absolutely no effort to move along with our relationship. I wonder how long should I be bothering her or am I doing something wrong here?

If she doesn't put any effort into our relationship at this point, then how could I count on her later in trouble or to be my partner.

[Wakeup]

Stop contacting her. See if she cares enough to contact you and see where you got to.

Or: Just ask her out again to do something not too expensive but fun, an activity (not eating or a movie) and ask her questions about herself so that she has to talk. (She may just be shy and needs to feel more at ease with you) If she doesn't open up and be a bit more fun then tell her that she's too quiet for you or that you don't think you have enough in common to continue and you wish her luck in her search.

Don't waste too much time on her. If she's not doing it for you then that's that... NEXT!

[basilandthyme]

I probably wouldn't bother with her again. But I'm ruthless.

A less ruthless person may give her one or two more dates. However, if she still can't initiate a conversation after that, move on.

[TheEvilJester]

She could just be very shy. The thing is, I am about the shyest guy in the world and even I am capable of hiding it well and also eventually getting over that. You've been chatting for two weeks. That is certainly long enough that she should initiate contact at least some of the time. Still, maybe she is just shy and figures you always do so it doesn't matter.

As far as the first date, that can be very nerve-wracking for a shy person. Heck, it is for anybody, but a million times more for us shy peeps. So, it is a little weird that she couldn't warm up the whole time, but I wouldn't necessarily consider that make or break (thought maybe that is just me).

If I were you, I'd try a few more dates with her, but not yet anything more serious. Give her more time to warm up and hopefully she will come out of her shell a little. I'd also recommend maybe going a day or so without contacting her to see if she takes the initiative to reach out first. These actions should both help you to get more hints as to where her mindset is, and whether or not she's likely to improve.

If things don't seem to go well on that end, then that is a good time to move on. I think telling her you don't feel you have enough in common is likely a good idea. It is the truth without being needlessly cruel. Though, what you say/how you do it would ultimately be your decision. Hopefully things go well and that is a decision you never have to make anyway. Good luck to you.