I do everything wrong usually :(

[alexisnicole887]

Me and this guy met in November. We were going on dates, and we had sex. He just he got out of a 7 year relationship a month before. In the beginning he even said "but I'd like to be with you aside from the sex is what you fail to realize" He texted me every day, told me he likes me a lot. We would hang out without having sex. He talked about meeting parents and maybe taking me to his best friend's wedding in May. He always holds my hand, and he called me his girlfriend to the waitress at one restaurant. When I was studying at Starbucks one night he came out to see me, no sex. one day he was acting distant and I went crazy texting him 50 times. he told me he was done. we went a week without talking and then we grabbed lunch 2 weeks ago. he paid, and we didnt have sex. The next day I invited him to my new years eve party, and he declined. he then told me he's not looking for a relationship. I asked him if there were feelings and he said "I did have feelings" and he said "Idk what I want and I dont want to lead you on." Then I asked if this was my fault and he said "it definitely isnt you" Then we ended up talking about meeting up to have sex and hang out. Before we met up he seemed hesitant and told me that he doesn’t want me throwing this in his face that all he wanted from me was sex. He also told me he doesn’t want me thinking this is anything more than what it is. We ended up meeting up to have sex and then we went to lunch. During lunch he said “you’re the best." Last week I asked him if he wanted to meet up to have sex and he said "can't have class" then I said "when can you" he said "idk shay in class can't talk" then I asked if he still wanted to have sex in general, and he didn't answer. Hours later I apologized for asking and he said "it's ok babe.” That was 2 weeks ago, and I haven’t heard from him since.

1. Was he using me for sex the whole time or did he have feelings for me?
2. Did he not want a relationship in general or did I do something wrong?

[basilandthyme]

Hon, I answered in one of your previous threads: he broke up because his 'nut-job girlfriend alert' went off when you sent all those messages. Your reaction the problem was massively and scarily out of proportion.

Now that you've posted the same question yet again, I have to say that it just cements my idea that he ended things because you went crazy. If the obsession - and lack of acceptance - you're showing here is what you're like in real life, then you really need to learn some techniques to just chill...and roll with the punches. And accept consequences for your behaviour.

[michelle23]

And stay away from emotionally unavailable men who just got out of a relationship. You were a rebound

[daisy123]

You should not contact that guy as he only contact you when he need you must must ask him clear either he want to continue seriously or not

[SDelight]

I think that now he isn't into jumping into bed with you for a reason. I mean maybe initially some chemistry was there, but now that you are flaunting yourself texting him the times to have sex...isn't that a little worrying to you? Don't make yourself too available. He is doing the right thing, but not engaging and leading you on. If he is into you and feels bad, he will come back. Just take it step at a time. I know its hard to hear, but its better than getting more emotionally hurt.

[woody]

Your sure placing allot of expectations with the whole 'sex' thing. Seems you place it rather high on your to do list and perhaps this man is more interested in getting to know a woman before jumping in the sack with her and due to your whole, are we having sex now? are we having sex later? are we having sex, sex sex concerns, well, you scared him away.

[dontaskme]

^^^ What Woody said. In addition, he must have been emasculated cause you were using him for sex.

[Wakeup]

Me and this guy met in November. We were going on dates, and we had sex. He just he got out of a 7 year relationship a month before. In the beginning he even said "but I'd like to be with you aside from the sex is what you fail to realize" He texted me every day, told me he likes me a lot. We would hang out without having sex. He talked about meeting parents and maybe taking me to his best friend's wedding in May. He always holds my hand, and he called me his girlfriend to the waitress at one restaurant. When I was studying at Starbucks one night he came out to see me, no sex. one day he was acting distant and I went crazy texting him 50 times. he told me he was done. we went a week without talking and then we grabbed lunch 2 weeks ago. he paid, and we didnt have sex. The next day I invited him to my new years eve party, and he declined. he then told me he's not looking for a relationship. I asked him if there were feelings and he said "I did have feelings" and he said "Idk what I want and I dont want to lead you on." Then I asked if this was my fault and he said "it definitely isnt you" Then we ended up talking about meeting up to have sex and hang out. Before we met up he seemed hesitant and told me that he doesn’t want me throwing this in his face that all he wanted from me was sex. He also told me he doesn’t want me thinking this is anything more than what it is. We ended up meeting up to have sex and then we went to lunch. During lunch he said “you’re the best." Last week I asked him if he wanted to meet up to have sex and he said "can't have class" then I said "when can you" he said "idk shay in class can't talk" then I asked if he still wanted to have sex in general, and he didn't answer. Hours later I apologized for asking and he said "it's ok babe.” That was 2 weeks ago, and I haven’t heard from him since.

1. Was he using me for sex the whole time or did he have feelings for me?
2. Did he not want a relationship in general or did I do something wrong?

My dear woman: Buy yourself a vibrator and learn how to self-sooth. This guy is smart enough to not get involved with you. In future let the guy do some of the chasing and you self-sooth until he's had a chance to figure out if you're worth going forward with.

Oh and stop using your vagina to try and get a boyfriend. That rarely works past the first plunge.