sharing a wall with the man I like and his new girlfriend

[lovemenot]

I am living in an apartment with the man I really like(ed) and he just found a girlfriend....probably the worst situation I could have ever imagined....

I have known this man for a few months and we were becoming really good friends and eventually started sleeping together. At first it was just friendship and sex. Even though our entire communication was constant flirting, I really liked him as a friend as well, we used to always have the best of time together and enjoyed each others company a lot. Though the flirting gave all that a special spark...
I knew I was going to move in here even before I met him (the third flatmate is a good friend of mine) and it also seemed like the man wasn't interested in anything more than sex (and friendship). So I tried really hard not to get too attached and not to fall for him. Apparently I failed. Eventually I started to like him more and more (I was even considering not moving in here...) and even on the night I moved in we had the best of time, he helped me settle in, put furniture together, made me dinner and of course we slept together again...And for the last time...already the next week he was seeing this new girl.

And all my stupid naive dreams about how we will all live here happily crashed down horribly and now I am all miserable living here and have to see them together all the time, hear her coming here every day, hear them in their room (we share a wall)....
And the stupidest thing is he's been saying things like "you're a little weird lately, not talkative at all very quiet..." does he not get why?? Like I have to be a good happy roommate and just act like nothing happened...When all feel is used and not good enough for him and can't even look at him with a straight face now...don't even know how to be around him, while he's of course all happy with a new girlfriend. Even said to me once "i havn't had something this good in a while"....what a ****ing asshole

Can anyone give me some advise on how to get closure and move on pleeeeeaaaaase?

(please don't say to move out, cuz that won't happen. I made my mind long time ago, not to make such life decisions based on men... and I wanna be strong and stick by it and don't want to just run away. though of course would be much much easier if i didnt have to see and hear them all the time...)

[Wakeup]

I'll repeat what I told you in your duplicate thread:

First: Stop considering yourself some kind of victim because you're not. You volunteered to be in a non-exclusive sexual only relationship with him and you failed to communicate to him that you are the type who has a vagina that you think is directly connected to your heart and you mistake lust for feeeeeeelings of romantic love.

You get closure by telling yourself that it was only sex (which it was) and lust and that you are going to give your actual heart (not your veejayjay) to a guy in your future and that you'll not have sex with him until you've been shown in actions that he actually values you and is interested in more then sex. If you don't want to be a fvck buddy then DON'T BE A **** BUDDY.

(I swear to got that I don't know how hookers stay in business anymore when so many chicas are giving it away without any commitment or being shown they are valued)

As for this guy...you'd do well to move out or if you can't/won't do that for yourself then buy a good set of head phones and make sure you have them on when she's over. Get busy with your life and doing things with your friends and family and your schooling or career so that you have a real life going for yourself as a single. Then you'll not be so quick to agree to be with chumps who just want a leg over.

[woody]

O.p,

Yes, quite the pickle your in now. But, your in it, bruised heart, confusing vibes, a side of 'jelly' n all.
Youch isn't it? Indeed and I feel for you, I do. And though I agree with not confusing matters of the heart connection with matters of 'lust' connections, I find your situation to be difficult. You like this guy; he likes you but not in that girlfriend kind of way; still, he slept with you and made things messy by then getting a gf. ouch.
Now your stuck there while she is paraded about and their getting along grandly as you go to bed alone. Dang lady, that sucks.
Well you don't want to move out so as mentioned above, get some headphones, go on some dates and fill your time up with things that take your mind off the man who now has a gf.

YOu could secretly pine away for him but that wouldn't be healthy energy for you or them so I hope 'grips' and boundaries are set. I hope you meet someone who's single and gives you the za za zoom in the heart and below department so you can move on from this crush gone complicated.
good luck.

[lovemenot]

to Wakeup: thank you again, wasn't sure which forum I should post this in so kindda duplicated it..

to woody: thank you for the compassion, I hope I will meet someone like you said too, but recently I only seem to get myself in these kinds of stupid situations..if I could only stop being so naive and hopeless romantic...

[woody]

Interesting when you say you keep getting yourself into these scenarios it makes me wonder if your doing this to protect yourself. Meaning, you choose men who are wrong or unavailable to make sure you can't get too involved. LIke your possibly sabotaging your self and your hearts abilities. Which would be sad for you dear lady.
I hope this is not what's happening.
Perhaps it is time for allot of self reflection and finding a way back to trust. Trusting in yourself and all you have to offer to the right man and when he shows up, having the bravery to let yourself, wholly allow yourself to truly love....and be loved

[lovemenot]

Well it's the second time this happens actually. The first one was way worse. I seriously fell for him, and when I fall in love I give it my all heart and soul and everything.... and then I had to lick my wounds for months after him..only finally got over him when I met this guy. So this time I was very very careful and was really trying to protect myself....

But I dont think I am purposely choosing these kind of men to sabotage myself...it's simply because I am attracted to this kind of men. Men who are artistic, adventurous, deep and mysterious and maybe even a little dark and free spirited...that's what gets my heart go all za za zoom usually i just get bored with "normal" good guys...

[woody]

Fair enough. Well for you then I wish a single and available man who is artistic, adventurous, runs deep, is kind and thoughtful yet mysterious and interesting, a man who is a real man, a man who gives you the ol za za zoom walks around your corner any moment now and that you have the self love to recognize him, take things in stride, protect your heart but never lose the romance and will to pursue.

[lovemenot]

thank you for the wishes. hope they come true