Lost in the past

[maeglinsurion]

This is my first post on this site. I came because, mostly I have to release some things, or else go totally mad.
I tend to be an extremely private person, when it concerns my personal life. So posting this on facebook is totally out of the question.
I recently found her on facebook. It has been over 25 years since we last saw each other. Ive always thought about her from time to time.
The typical stuff, wondering how things went for over the years. She is 39 now, and when I saw her picture, it just dazzled me. She still has the same smile.
It was overwhelming. It was bittersweet. Immediately I knew I had made a mistake. Since that day, ive been filled with the same feelings, that I had
when we together. Even after 25 years, nothing has changed my thoughts and feelings of her. So I looked at another picture, and it was just to much.
It was a picture, of how she looked when we were together. The second picture, hit me like a sledgehammer. Just looking a couple pictures of her, has left me
feeling like a pile of mashed potatos. It would be so nice to see her person. Ive spent the last few days, trying figure out, why did I do this to myself. It was a
bad idea. I would really like to see her again, but, I don't want to invade her life. It could cause some major stability problems for her. Which wouldn't be good for her.
Its hard dealing with these feelings and emotions, that I had when I was with her. So if anyone is planning on looking for there first love, id say don't do it. Its a really bad idea.
It doesn't feel to good, to have those feelings and thoughts, that one has concerning there first love. So if someone has a way to deal with this, id appreciate it a lot. Thanks for your time.

[Wakeup]

Sorry, can't really help you as I'm still with my "first love." The other's before him were just rehersal. Maybe you should start viewing her that way and you'd be able to get the hell over her to the stage of indifference which means you'd not have any urge to look her up and see "how she's doing."

BTW: Can I ask why you hate yourself so much that you'd actively seek her out when you knew that contacting her would cause her some kind of hardship? What a waste of your time, really.

Whats up with you after all these years? Are you married and having a good life?