Not a priority

[Janet62]

I have been texting this guy for several months.Actually he had dated for several months and then he broke up with me. Then one day he calls me out of the blue.We make it a pact to remain monogamius by I broke that pact and moved in with another guy. I like the guy I live with but I don't love him he treats me great and is a really nice guy. So me and my ex decided to remain friends but all the sudden he treats me like nothing. He rarely answers my texts and when he does it's just one word. I feel like I'm not a priority in his life anymore. Should I return his texts or just ignore them like he does mine. Is this friendship over?

[lissa]

He's your ex, why should you be a priority in his life?

[Si_]

Sounds to me like he's not interested anymore. Maybe he has found someone else?

[Janet62]

Thanks for the advice but we said we would still remain friends. Should I quit texting him he only seems to text me back when it's convenient for him?

[Wakeup]

I have been texting this guy for several months.Actually he had dated for several months and then he broke up with me. Then one day he calls me out of the blue.We make it a pact to remain monogamius by I broke that pact and moved in with another guy. I like the guy I live with but I don't love him he treats me great and is a really nice guy. So me and my ex decided to remain friends but all the sudden he treats me like nothing. He rarely answers my texts and when he does it's just one word. I feel like I'm not a priority in his life anymore. Should I return his texts or just ignore them like he does mine. Is this friendship over?

You're not a very good person if you use a man for his house while not even loving him while you try to reconnect with an ex.

Leave the ex alone. Maybe you'll find that you actually can garner some real feelings for the man that treats you well if you put your whole focus on him instead of the ex who is smart enough to stay away from someone else's girlfriend.

Stop being such a twit.

[Janet62]

Thanks for the advice I think you're right I'm pretty sure he's just not interested anymore. Time move on !

[basilandthyme]

Thanks for the advice but we said we would still remain friends. Should I quit texting him he only seems to text me back when it's convenient for him?

Sounds to me like you're expecting the type of contact you had when you were more than friends.

I've got dear friends who I speak with only three times per year - but lack of frequent contact doesn't mean that they aren't friends. We all know that realistically we AREN'T each other's priorities. They have kids, husbands, jobs, other friendships.

He's just a friend now. Understand that as you are no longer a girlfriend, that your priority in his life WILL drop down - as it should.

[basilandthyme]

from your other post >>Well some would say I was freaking out over nothing. And maybe I am. But here goes I've been texting a guy everyday for a while and even though he's my ex we decided to remain friends. Well I made the comment that he doesn't text me unless I didn't him first he said that was bullshit. I said I felt like I wasn't a priority to him. Since then he won't answer my text or text me. Did I over step the bounds of friendship ? How do I move on from here and do I just wait for him to text me?<<

Did you over step the bounds of the friendship? Well that depends on how often you text him and what it's about. How often ARE you texting him? Are the texts you're sending him the same content and frequency as you'd send to a female friend?

[Janet62]

Ok maybe I'm freaking out but we usually text each other a couple times a day. Now since I said I don't feel like a priority nothing no texting. I've tried texting him and apologizing for what I said but nothing. Is it over should I quit texting him. I don't want to seem needy.

- - - Updated - - -

We text a couple times sake day we even did some sexting. He had told me before he doesn't want anyone right now.So was I just being used I mean it was mutual. So do I just quit texting him or wait on him to text me?

[basilandthyme]

OK, so let's not pretend that this is about being 'friends' and look at it for what it is: sexting with the ex and you not being ready to let go.

No, you weren't being used. He is an ex and was quite clear about not wanting to have a relationship - therefore, you knew what you were dealing with. There was no element of him tricking you into this.

Yes, he's lost interest in fooling about with you. It was fun while it lasted, but he's learning to let go. And you must do the same.