Ex Girlfriend Came Back.. What do I do?

[geffsky]

okay everyone ill try to keep it as short as possible, I feel like a child posting here, but this girl has me caught up. Let me preface this by saying, I dont have trouble with women, I dated this girl for 2 and a half years and I know its gonna sound crazy, but stick with me here:

- dated this girl for two and a half years, I cheated on here when we first started dating (I was 18 at the time and in college it was a very very big mistake) we stayed together. We argued alot but we really did love each other, she was a pretty good girlfriend

-we are in AC for her birthday, me and her brother get in a drunken fight, we break up

-she gets another boyfriend, they date for a year

-she hits me up around the end of December, and we just talk for the first time in a very long time, she starts to flirt with me I flirt back.. she ends up telling me how much her boyfriend sucks, shes living with him isnt happy, then she gets more in depth.. he sucks at sex has a small penis your is so much bigger.. in my head im thinking okay, if she wants it we can do it for fun... we meet up have sex, she says she breaks up with her boyfriend and moves out of his house.. we chill and talk for almost the whole month of january

-all of a sudden she doesnt answer me.. she texts me emails me two days later and tells me she lost her phone and got a new one, her mom blocked my number (because of the fight that happen with me and her bro her family doesnt like me) barely talks to me.. thats how its been we barely talk for the last two weeks and when we do talk its like one or two responses from her and then she stops answering. shes very cold I asked her whats going on and she basically tells me that she needs her space and she doesnt want another boyfriend when she just broke up with hers but she doesnt want to lose me, so today she finally gets my number unblocked and texts me.. we argue and she blames her breaking up with him on the fact that I cheated on her four years ago, it apparently made her have crazy trust issues and she didnt trust him even though he was just playing video games (keep in mind A) she cheated on him with me B) he also cheated on her, she found him emailing his ex girlfriend)... I was like you have to be kidding me

what do I do.. my brain is saying steve, you may feel guilty about what you did in the past and think you can make everything right here, but you cant this girl clearly changed and you need to stop contacting her and let her go

my heart says dont give up on her, she was your longest relationship you are the reason she is this way you owe it to her to make it right

im so torn, help me out sorry for it being so long.. im leaving out alot of details, but thats the shortest I could make it

please help me

[woody]

Okey, well, though I understand how being cheated on can and does contribute to serious trust issues in anyone, to blame you for her cheating on her bf with you years later isn't cool either.
Yet the two of you met, had sex, she broke up with her man yet doesn't trust you either; at least, not enough to risk falling for you again when there's a possibility you'll rip her heart out again.

your just going to have to ride this one out. If the two of you indeed do have a unique connection, you will find a way back to one another. But she will always have trust issues. When the first person we fell in love with betrays our trust in this way, the effects can often last a lifetime. I'm sorry to say but there's no easy fix there.

It sounds like your torn. Your mind and heart are telling different things so you'll have to give it more time and that's all you can do. That and work on yourself; understand why you cheated and why you were willing to be with her again intimately when she was with another. A strange web indeed.

Anyway, hope others can help you out more than I did.
There will always be candy but we don't have to eat it. Meaning, even when your with the one you love, there will always be someone else that turns your head and the lower one BUT what we do with that is the true test of our individual characters.
I would imagine you learned a lesson all those years ago when you did cheat; and though you may have learned something, the damage to her was done and as I said above, these damages never truly fade. Just prepare for that.

[geffsky]

thanks alot that was good advice, I really am not sure what to do. I did learn from cheating I havent done that since.. this is a crazy situation ive never found myself in before