i love him ,but he just wants sex or more?

[amandaa]

Hi.i am 17 and i have a very complicated situation now with one boy. It all began when i started going out with a new gang. There i met a boy which i started liking . Later i couldnt stop thinking about him but i noticed that he was also into me. I was very happy ,so new year eve came up and we all celebrated it together. I drank a lot and i started talking with him about my feelings he replied too. He said that he also really liked me but if we would be couple we later might break up ,so he dont i want to lose me. So then he talked about how we could be friends with behefits but i didnt reply because i didnt i know what to say and just kissed him a lot. Then some time paseed away, we would meet together as a gang but we acted together like nothing happened. Then there was party and he started talking about how importantly i have to come. So i came, there i was drunk again ,so he took me upstairs and we again started kissing but this time i even took my shirt of ,but suddenly we were interrupted and i was really ashamed for my behaviour and he was really mad.He looked very sad and angry.The next day he said to me that he wanted to have sex with me and it would be amazing if nobody were seen us. I was a little bit shocked first: i was not ready for sex ,but by being drunk i took my shirt. Second: i really liked him and it was sad that it looked like that he wants just sex from me. So what do i have to do now? I love him and i dont want lose him ,but i cant be with person who acts like that. p.s we are both virgins.

[basilandthyme]

Amanda, you start by having a conversation with him when you are both sober. At this point in time, it would appear that you've not told him that you don't want to be just a casual girl to him. Tell him that you don't want to be friends with beneifts. Tell him that you only want to have sex in a relationship. If he's not interested in a relationship with you, then he's not the man for you.

After having this conversation, try staying sober for a few parties. All these scenarios are happening when you're too drunk to stop him or have a conversation with him - and you need to be responsible for your own part in this mess.

As for him, do you realise that he's taking advantage when you're too drunk to consent properly? What he's doing to you is called sexual assault.

[woody]

Dear lady Amanda,

I know you really feel and believe you actually love this young man but you need to re think this. You said, "I can't be with a man who acts like this" THAT'S RIGHT. you answered your own question and you know what you need to do. Like B&T said above ^^, cut back on the drinking and see this guy for what he really is. Any man that says he doesn't want a relationship with you because he's worried you'll break up and then lose each other is full of it....Full of it Amanda. And then he suggests you become friends with benefits? This is so disrespectful towards you young lady and you must regain your sense of self respect and pride in all you have to offer to the right kind of man.

You are young. I know you think you've got it all figured out but I assure you, when we are that age and so impressionable to romance and the hope of love, we do things that our future selves would not. Don't be fooled and don't get played. I know you think you love him but dear lady, how could you possibly. Raise your bar higher and do not allow yourself to be used. YOu sound like a romantic who deserves the love a fine, genuine and good man; not a player who lacks the maturity like this guy you think you love.
There are too many good men out there to allow such treatment towards your self.
If I were you, I'd find another group of individuals to hang out with and if you don't, at the very least, stop allowing this man to play you.

[Wakeup]

Stop letting him do what he is doing to you. Take back your personal power and tell him you are not going to be anyone's friend with benefits. That real friends don't do that with one another and if he likes you as much as he says he does then he'd not be that disrespectful to you by taking advantage of you when you've been drinking too much.

STOP drinking too much or you will end up in trouble if you go upstairs with a boy that won't stop and ends up raping you.

[milk&honey]

I think you should avoid him from now on and stop drinking so much at parties. You've really got to look out for yourself or at least get some friends to look out for you!