girlfriend....

[dodgetrucks]

My gilfriend and I have been dating for about 7 months now and just started to have sex. I was a virgin before this and now we have doen it over 20 times in two weeks. She mentioned to me that she wanted to spice up our sex life and she wanted to use sex toys like handcuffs and gags, is this normal? Im kinda scared of the idea I just didnt know if anone else experienced the same? Thanks

[gHEXjt]

Was she a virgin too? Cause if so, and even if she wasn't, two weeks of sex is pretty quick to start having to spice up your sex life. Although its no big deal to play around with toys, as long as she doesn't want to use any on you. Unless you're into that kind of stuff.

[dodgetrucks]

Well she was not a virgin I was she has been with one other person other than me and I think she wants to use the toys on me that is why it kinda freaks me out.

[daletom]

"Is this normal?" is a pretty complicated question. Although many people, both guys and girls, get some kind of enjoyment out of this kind of play, they are certainly in the minority. And I think most would admit it's not the same kind of enjoyment they get from loving, relational sex.

Still, a lot of people experiment with a wide range of sexual activities (not just bondage and restraint) when they're young. Various kinds of roleplaying can be fun. Sometimes they find things they use throughout their lives, sometimes they simply dismiss things as a bad idea with no attraction whatsoever.

Don't let her pressure you into something you're REALLY opposed to, or fearful of. Being skeptical isn't the same as really opposed. And don't think that women don't pressure guys for sex!

The people who do the kind of thing you describe always have a "Safe Word" that can be used to end the activity for whatever reason. You might start with something a bit less severe - perhaps tying each other to the bedposts with the belts from your bathrobes, for instance. It's tough to make a knot in those belts that can't be undone with a little effort.

If she's looking for spice and variety, may I suggest you get copies of "Joy of Sex" and "More Joy of Sex"? These books have been in print for about 30 years now, and you can get them at main-line bookstores like Dalton's or Borders - or through sellers on EBay. Go through the articles together, discussing the ideas that appeal to each of you and those that are definitely out of order. (I got the bathrobe belt idea from one of those books. And tried it, BTW.) Or, go through them individually and leave little notes for each other - like, "Let's try pg 147.". Or mark the interesting pages with post-it notes and leave the book under each other's pillow. You will almost certainly find other ideas to try, and have some fun trying them.

[gHEXjt]

If it freaks you out than don't do it man. I can't believe you have even considered the thought of something going in your ass if it freaks out. Tell her to get bent, on that subject at least. After two weeks of having sex, there is no reason that you need to "spice up" your sex.

[Lloyd95]

Weird.

[shh!]

Damn! Kids these days are so immune to the simple pleasures in life...

[clynn]

its fun to be tied up! think about it, means she is pleasuring you!

[Only-virgins]

Dodge trucks suck...almost as bad as that asians thread.

[sevink]

me and my gf dating 5 months and we have just now started to talk about sex. Both of us are virgins where she has done NOTHING...(im her first bf, second kiss hehe) and shes already talking about roleplaying and shit and costumes. Dont be afraid in my opinion its perfectly normal to try new things. But if something gets out of wack just stop. good luck!

[gHEXjt]

me and my gf dating 5 months and we have just now started to talk about sex. Both of us are virgins where she has done NOTHING...(im her first bf, second kiss hehe) and shes already talking about roleplaying and shit and costumes. Dont be afraid in my opinion its perfectly normal to try new things. But if something gets out of wack just stop. good luck!

Roleplaying is one thing. But have you given thought to having your girl stick something like a butt-plug in your ass? Cause that's just ****ed up. Costumes and stuff are cool though. But do have your girl thinking of anal play on you after two weeks? Aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.