An unexpected call...

[Keegan]

My ex just called me tonight, which is about 1 month since we broke up. I have rung her 5-6 times since then and she hasnt wanted to talk. Then all of a sudden she calls me. She was asking about some of her stuff back. But we ended up talking for 40 mins. Some how we managed to have a calm conversationa bout a few things to do with our breakup, ie her hitting me. For some reason after all this girl has done to me, I still want to be friends. I cant let go. I am tired of letting go. It happens all the time, not just with lovers. I feel anxious and shaking after and during that phone call. Why is that? Is anyone else tired of letting go after a breakup where u never she or talk to that person again? I know I am!

[shh!]

It seems to me that letting go is what breaking up is all about.

I like your signature, but I would change it to say "Fundamentalist Religion is destroying us all".

:-D

[TAVS]

Yea, I try not to completely lose someone just because of a breakup. I'm still good friends with my first love from 5yrs ago. I see her every few months, next week in fact. Unfortunately, she's moving to Reno with her husband at the end of the month. As for my current Ex, I hope to remain friends. She moves as well (about 4 hrs away), here in a couple weeks. Obviously I wont see her very much but I hope the phone remains an option for us. When she leaves, it'll be up to her to contact me when she's ready. If I dont hear from her in a couple months, I'll probably ring her up for the holidays.

One note though.....One complaint my current Ex has is that I was friends with the Ex before her. Keep that in mind.

[Keegan]

One note though.....One complaint my current Ex has is that I was friends with the Ex before her. Keep that in mind.

Thats interesting, I can see why it would be a problem as well. But for me I have never kept in contact with an ex. Which I find a bit sad and I want to change that. If you can make love to someone, why cant you be friends afterwards? Even if the breakup is bad, you should be able to both move on but still recognise that you care for each other. Im coming to the theory that if you find it hard or impossible to cry after a breakup, then your letting go period is alot longer and hard. Whereas if you cry heaps than it can be easier to deal with once you stop crying.

[TAVS]

That's true about crying. It's not that you have to cry per say, but you have to face the music and let it out in whatever way you need. That's certainly how I survive breakups. Don't get me wrong, I have the same view on failed relationships, but it can be tricky. I think it's more important to find a new girl who trusts you enough to not care....oh and don't over-do the contact with the ex.