What to do in our marriage torn but love him.

[Miss Choc]

Well first off he wants to get his head in order and he wants to concentrate on work he had a lot of family, health issues and a bereavement so he is going out with lads and not screwing or have a mistress?? We are two different people physically he just couldnt be bothered any more with sex and it was a drunken, shoulder to cry on kiss he doesnt even fancy her. I did fancy my guy I needed the attentions flattery and it was a mistake on my part to fall for it but I was craving it especially when he was much younger than me it was a lift. No I am fully aware of the financial situation but I am comfortably ok with my own savings I always saved up my own and have my own accounts in my name so that is ok. We will agree in a few weeks to sort this out and come to some agreement maybe draft out a contract with a solicitor will have to check all this out with a citizens advice place it's all new to me. But he is a genuine guy I have know for so long that wont screw me over and vice versa it's not in his nature to be vindictive our only crime was drifting out of love and our marriage not how it used to be.

[Wakeup]

Good luck... Keep us updated if you wish or stick around and contribute here. Perhaps you're experience will come in handy to others.

[Miss Choc]

Yes if I can help others I will first get my head round things myself once I keep mentally and physically healthy for my sister that is my main priority as I dont want tension affecting her. Friends and inner strength will see me though. When I have close bereavements I thought I would never come out the other side but you do and I know this phase will pass.

[jenniferaniston]

Give yourself time. There is no timetable for forgiveness. Some people are able to forgive a cheating husband in a matter of days while for others it could take years. Take all the time you need to work through your emotions, pain and fears. You can talk to others who are going through the same thing and get strength from your shared experience. If you’ve made every effort to make things work and just can’t see yourself forgiving your spouse or moving forward, then it may be time to end the relationship. Don’t be frustrated yourself for not being able to forgive your spouse, even if he or she has been working hard to regain your trust; some things just cannot be forgiven. If you find that you simply can’t continue the relationship and feel like you’ve made an effort to try to make it work, then it’s time to make the decision and move on.

[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbxoQyyj1m4[/url]

[Miss Choc]

The reason we are breaking up isnt because he cheated it's because we have fallen out of love, lack of common interest, more like friends than a couple hence why there was a drunken kiss from a stranger on both our parts. I was miserable in our marriage as was he but this is to do with the above stuff. At the start of our marriage he was soft and gave into everything I wanted even moving in, a new house, marriage because he loved me and this is what I wanted he feels that it's take take take and never what he wants which is true to a point as I have been more selfish in the marriage but I was the loving wife that cared, loved supported him too and tried to work on stuff. Unfortunately when we would have a major fight and serious talk a major life event would happen ie a death of a parent, sickness etc and we would be back to normal plastering over the cracks again and again we have agreed this time to break up and still be friends and be civil instead of letting this fester causing tension in the house esp with my sister and down the line it would be worse. I guess better a year of hurt and tears than down the line 5 yrs older, more bitter and hating ex