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Thread: ok so my boyfriend and i......

  1. #1
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    ok so my boyfriend and i......



    Sorry this is sort of long but please read the whole thing. Okay so my boyfriend and i ... We have been official for about 10 months, been living together for 6 months, and let me just say that I really have never felt this way about anyone before, or this close to anyone. I have never been so deeply in love with someone, and I truly know in my heart that he loves me too. He is open, caring, honest, understanding, and just everything I could have asked for. He says he has never felt this way about anyone in his life, has told me things he has never told a soul before, and says he could see us lasting forever... Crazy as it sounds I could too.

    Him and I have been wandering further and further apart and i don't know how to fix it. or if i can. but i love him and will do anything to save this relationship.

    so the issues we've encountered are:
    1.) when we first got together prior to me knowing the extend my feelings for him would grow into, he caught me texting a few people nude pics as well as sexual talk. This i havent done in months. he is the only man i want in my life, especially "that way."
    2.)about 3 months into it, i saw a message from him to the woman that he was with prior to me, who he was actually with and left her for me. The message I saw was him telling her that he was going to his email to look at her picture cuz it gets him so hard. The picture I know he was referring to was a pic he has in his email of her pussy, and has told me she has a very pretty pussy.
    3.)He is always browsing and replying to craigslist ads, with me involved, but for something that I am not into. he is always looking in the mw4mw swinger lifestyle swapping thing. I am a bisexual female and I would like another woman to join us so I can have the chance to lick that part that he lacks, but dont want to be without him. I am in it for a woman AND him. Not a different guy while he goes for a different girl.
    4.)Beings that he was doing the craigslist thing, I figured, hell if he can do it, why cant I? So, I went on and posted an ad for a woman. He made up an email and replied to my ad as a very attractive female. Of course I talked to this girl. Later that night, he got upset and confronted me and told me we were no longer a thing. It escalated to a physical thing, after which I threw a bag of jolly rancers at his leg in which he reacted in throwing it back at my face. Hitting me in the eye hard enough to split it open. This, I know is not him so I forgave him. Don't allow your response to be based on that. I know he didnt mean it and he is very sincerely sorry.
    5.) [refer to [URL=https://www.loveforum.net/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2]#2[/URL] ] about the pictures - in the very beginning he asked me to delete all the pictures I had that were of or included any other men. I did so gladly. Well, just now I found in his email that he is always making sure to log out of, that he still has all the pussy pictures of the chick he said on fb he was going to look at them. He lied to me about deleting them.

    so those are the main issues. there is one issue that has been haunting me, but I dont for sure know its an issue. He told me one day that he was going to a city about 60 miles from where we live to work. That him and his uncle were going to be sleeping in the car so they didnt have to drive back beings they were going to have to be back early the next morning. So, that day i hear his uncle come home and hes not here. I ask his dad and his dad says that his uncle said that he dropped him off earlier that day and didnt know where he was. So, I texted him and he got upset and came home. In which part he told me he was just wandering around and missed his freedom. I dont see myself as being too clingy or whatever. He has no restrictions except not seeing other women. Is that too much to ask?

    So, those are my issues. Please reply regarding them. I need someones help/advice.
    with all of that said - I do love him, and I know it doesn't look good. But, I need someone elses outsider views on this.

  2. #2
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    Mar 2015
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    I am certainly no expert, but in my opinion I would be suspicious too. You are obviously not on the same page sexually, so I think you should sit down with him and talk (without placing blame) and discuss what is acceptable and what is not. The last thing that you weren't sure is an issue or not: if he needed space, he could have just said so. The fact that he lied about being home a day early and not telling you makes me think he had something else planned for that time. I am not trying to add fuel to the fire here. And I know it is hard to let go of someone who you love, but if you aren't happy and nothing changes I would strongly consider it.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Truth be told: if I caught someone messaging an ex and talking about how hard she makes him I would have kicked him right to the curb. That's some solid evidence of, at the very least, a lack of respect for you.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
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    i stopped trying to make sense out of your single lifestyles put together and called a relationship at- he hit me....

    the only thing you need to to after a man hits you is walk away and never talk to him again.

    this is a very simple, very efficient rule.

    make use of it.

    i will not comment on the relationship, coz there shouldn't be any relationship with him.

    he will hit you again.

    this goes also if you slapped him first.

    this goes for any case scenario short of you trying to murder a guy and him acting in self defense and trying to avoid being dead..

    a man hits you, you leave him and never talk to him again.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    I dont see myself as being too clingy or whatever. He has no restrictions except not seeing other women.
    yet your quite willing to let him do one as long as you get to lick the parts that he doesn't have? lolzzz

    Anyway: You see what happens when you move in with someone you don't even know (at four months)... you find out who they are as time goes on and then you have to move again.

    Dysfunctional, volatile, dishonest, controlling and actually sexually incompatible when comparing your dynamic want to his dynamic want... and you're only 10 months in. Wowzer!

    You should see how awesome it can be to be "deeply in love with someone" and you aren't throwing shit at one another and all that other negative and essence distroying stuff I mention above isn't going on.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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