Should I tell my officemate what I feel about her?

[lonelyman]

I have an officemate for about 6 months. She is 7 years old younger than me. I am 37M and she is 30F and she is also currently single. I am the one who is teaching her job related task (IT related job). She always message me or call me asking for help in job-related topics until one time, she can openly tell me her past relationships and asking advice on what to do.

She is always texting me, initially job related question and suddenly our conversation will be on other topics (e.g. personal and relationship). She also always call me asking for job-related help and suddenly our topic will be personal again (she always initiates the call or sms even on midnights). Normally when she calls, our conversation will last for one to three hours discussing different topics.

I never intent to like her before but suddenly, I found her beautiful and I always think about her. I actually want to control my feelings then one day I asked her if she has crush in the office. At first, she did not want to tell me but when I persisted she told me that she has a crush on one of my officemate. It actually hurt me and the fact that I always tease her on that guy.

Should I tell her what I feel about her? I am not actually expecting her to like me in return but I am worried that this may ruin our friendship or should I just hide my feelings and try to avoid her as much as possible?

[Wakeup]

Hide your feelings, stop letting her engage you in personal topics, stop accepting her calls/text/emails past office hours and stop crossing business and profession boundaries with her.

You shouldn't be doing that with a work-mate. It will just get ugly and you'll have to face her everyday if things don't work out for you.

[derroa]

Even though I accept the previous poster's thoughts, I don't agree with it. Almost 20% of couples meet at work, so what you're experiencing is not at all unusual.

I agree however that workplace romance can have some serious consequences, depending on your professional relationship (ie how closely you work together, ranks etc) and you should have a good think about what these consequences could be for you, and if you are ready to take that risk.

If you feel you are, then ask her out - I wouldn't necessarily tell her openly exactly how you feel in great detail, but you can get to know each other better and meet outside of work and see where this takes you.

Remember however that the way a work relationship evolves doesn't always reflect how the personal relationship will evolve between the two of you. She is new and you are the main person supporting her in her role currently, so in a way she depends on you. The dynamic could change in a personal relationship. Not necessarily for the worse, but something to consider before you pursue it further.

[smackie9]

Dude you are totally friend zoned. When they start asking about relationship advice or talk about personal crap, you are her male GF. Obviously you have no dating experience, a bit of a nerd perhaps? That would explain why you would see her behavior as romantic interest.....well it's not. Just because she is nice to you and talks to you doesn't mean she wants you. And to say you want to let her know you have feelings for her???? that tells me you are obsessing over her.....a bit too much bro. Adults ask a girl out on a date if they like them. That tell the girl you like then when you DO ask them on a date. TBH you need to keep your professional life professional since you work very closely with her.

Here's a tip: when a girl starts needing on you, asking you for extra help, making you go beyond the call of duty, she is taking you for granted. Girls aren't stupid, they know how to get what they want from inexperienced nerdy guys like you.