My Girlfriend is going to Portugal and we are from Brazil

[richard.wmbv]

I need help from open minded girls for this one.
So, I live a really... REALLY hard relationship, and you will understand why.
I'll try to be short so more people can help me.
Okay. I'm 20 yo. I lived 19 years of my life, without giving a single kiss on another person. I was virgin until I met my first and only girlfriend, Jessica. She is 21 YO. And here starts the hard part of my realtionship with her. I liked her from the first moment we started talking with each other through Omegle. We've had 490 thousand messages on facebook chat together, since we've met. She is the most beautiful woman i've ever met in my life, the most fun, cute, inteligent, funny, lovable, and the prettiest woman there exists in this world. And she told me the second day we were talking to each other that she is transgender. I never felt attraction for transgenders, but Jessica is a perfect woman, I've never seen her as a transgender, because she's a gorgeous, sensitive and feminine girl, the most perfect woman that walks on this earth. We've been through SO much stuff together, she was the first woman i've ever kissed, the first woman i've trusted to make love with, and the only woman I'll ever love in my life. But after 2 months together, she told me that her cousin, which lives with her, is her ex, and they had a 6 year relationship before breaking up. I trust her with my life, and I'm 100% sure she never cheated on me with him. But because she doesn't have where to live or a job (because in Brazil, transgenders have no opportunities to have good jobs that pay enough to make a living), she stayed with him, with him sleeping in the other room. We used to spend the entire day talking to each other, since the first minute she wakes up to the last one of our days, and I'm sure I can trust her for this. Because I live with my grandmom, I was never able to bring her to live with me, and I had no job to pay for rent or anything like that, so she kept living with him. He knew about us and was always arguing with her, and she didn't want me to help her, because my family is against my relationship with her, so I couldn't take her anywhere. Anyways, he received the opportunity to move to Portugal, and she told me she was never gonna go with him, until last month, when we had a struggle about her ex saying terrible things to her while she didn't let me help, because we would not have anywhere to go. After that, she decided she was gonna go with him, even though they don't love each other. This month I started an trainee program at the biggest Software company in Latin America, and now I have money to pay a rent for us 2.. We've been through SO MUCH, and we've had the most beautiful relationship anyone could imagine. We love each other so so much, I could never demonstrate exactly on these 9 months we have been dating. Girls, please help me, we've already talked about it, and she wants to break up with me, so I don't feel stuck to her and can keep on with my life. Brazil is a terrible country for transgender, and most of them fall in prostitution because they cannot get a job and be able to pay for their food, AND I KNOW THAT. I want the best for my princess, but I don't want her to live with that stupid, agressive mother****er, that treats her like a man, because when they've met, she hadn't yet started the transition, and he is gay, so he's attracted to men. Also, I don't want anyone else on this world, I have never met someone so incredible in my entire life, and I know I'll never meet someone this perfect again. I love her forever, and I promised her I would never be weak and try to forget her (because this is what weak people do, so they can have other relationships), but this would be a lie, a life mistake, and I will never make this mistake.
She wants to go to Portugal to have a better life, and I want it too, but she feels like she should break up with me so I don't suffer because of this distance, and I can't convince her that I will endure anything, that I will wait 2, 5, 10 years for her. I will always love her, and I know she will love me back forever. WHAT SHOULD I DO? I love this woman SO MUCH, I would do anything for her. I can't imagine her suffering so far away from me that I could never help her.

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I forgot to mention that her family is poor, so they can't help her that much. She is afraid to stay and never get a better life. I searched for help, but no one could help us, everyone in my family thinks it's a terrible mistake that my first relationship is with a transgender, and that I should meet other people, but I love her, I would never do anything only for the acceptance of my family and friends, it would be a coward attitude. I will do anything to make her as happy as possible, and she knows that. My love for her is eternal, even though people say "thats because its your only relationship", but I never imagined I would feel this much love for someone, to love a woman so much that I would give an arm for her happiness. If she really goes with him, I will make everything so I can take her as fast as possible to Canada, which was the country we planned to move to and make our lives there.

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She is trying to make me hate her so I forget her, too..

[Knoxane]

I know that you believe Jessica has never cheated on you which im sure she hasnt but she is cheating on you emotionally. You offered her to come live with you and pay rent, you offered her a better life so why wont she accept? It seems to me like Jessica is emotionally tied up with her ex still. You cannot date someone for 6 years and invest that much time and then break up and still live with them and get over that person. You mentioned her ex is also aggressive so it seems like she is trapped in an abusive relationship with her ex possibly? She has relied on him for so long and the emotional ties are there. Until she leaves her ex for good and comes to be with you I wouldnt waste your time. I know this is not what you want to hear, but seems like you have offered Jessica everything she could ever hope for and if she is not willing to take the plunge and come live with you it is because she still has emotional ties to her ex and this will continue for the rest of your life if you stay with her. She gets to live with her ex and have him as her support system and then she gets you to be nice and make her feel good. She is taking advantage of you and yes her situation is unfortunate but that is no excuse, you have offered her EVERYTHING and if she is not willing to take it and be with you and she is going to choose to move with her ex far away from you so you can never see her then you should stop wasting your time. I know this is probably not what you wanted to hear but youre so young stop wasting your time on someone who wont commit.

[Wakeup]

She's trying to tell you gently that she wants to go to Portugal with this man that she lives with and that you should find yourself another man or woman or man/woman that is free to actually be with you.

Add the fact that your family does not approve of this thing you have with Jessica, the distance, the ambiguity of the relationship with the "cousin" all add up to you not being weak and actually accept that your connection to her is best for all if it were to end.

Let her get on with her life and you do the mental work you need to do to get yourself over this relationship. Zero contact will help you to more quickly get to the stage of indifference to Jessica. It's not "weak" people that do that, it's SMART people who value themselves enough to know that there is no furture with one another that do it.