My brother's BFF likes me and now he ignores me after I told him I like him? Why?

[joannabegood]

We are in 30ties. We've know each other for a long time.
I always thought he likes me, but we never went on a date untill a month ago.

We went on 3 dates alone otherwise we hangout in a gang few times a year. He is mostly an acquintices who likes to chat with me for hours when we ran into each other on some ocasions.
Since we've known each other for a long time it was wierd to hangout with him alone.
We didn't kiss. He is a bit shy introvent. But not to shy to make a move and texting me his naked photo.

He was the one calling me out to hang out. At first it was a friendly invitation like let's watch some sports together. Let's go running together. I realised I liked him but I was acting the whole time as a friend, I wasn't after him he was after me. Thought he'd figure out somehow and make some moves.
I asked him if we can hangout together after 3 weeks, he was busy 24/7 with his work. Okay...
Meanwhile because he seemed a bit shy I tried to initiate the contact trought texting doint the iternal jokes. He laughed...and said he we could go out that he will call me...I said okay, it would be awesome....He didn't call

Then he likes all I post on facebook, but no IM. okay...

One day I needed his help with my job, he took care of it...then I texted him that we could go out if he wants because I like him, but if he doesn't want to that I will understand. He replied after 24 h saying that he really can't, he kept saying that 4 times in a row aplogizing like a lunatic.
I was saying that it was ok, not a big deal!

3 days after that, I went out at a party, got drunk, and texted him - what does he thinks about the fact that I like him? That was last friday night.

He din't say a thing about it, no reply, zero.
Why?
I am not some random chick, I am his best friend's sister who he likes for ages. At least if he lost interest or something he could of just call me, text me something. I would totally understand it, he knows that I am an easygoing person.
If I was some unknown chick who he picked up in a bar drunk, I'd understand this ignoring stuff.

I am starting to think that this guy is an ass and I find it really rude for not saying anything about it.

Any insights? Is he an ass or not? I don't think I did anything wrong. I confessed I like a guy friend who likes me for years too, day before he aplogizes for being busy like crazy, the day after he ignores me. And I seriously never chased him like some stalker, begging him to do anything. I just said I liked him. No response. Awesome!
This behaviour turns me off... I will blow him off for good as some potential bf material, he'll be friendzoned.

[basilandthyme]

I don't think he's done anything wrong. Problem is, you drunkenly confessed to liking him AFTER he told you that he can't date you. What's he supposed to do? Tell you again that he can't date you?

He's seen that you've done something silly when you were drunk and instead of causing you embarrassment by saying "no" again, he's pretending that it didn't happen. Kind of like how we all don't discuss with our good friend that stupid thing we did/said when drunk.

You might be ready to friendzone him - but from where I'm sitting, I think he's already friendzoned you. He's not into you in a romantic sense.

[joannabegood]

I didn't ask him to date me.

The thing is that this guy was really sick last week, I checked it out So he said he couldn't meet me after I told him that I've liked him.
Then I've said 'get well. ttyl'
Then he apologised and said again that he will be sick for a couple of days.
Then I replied to him 'take care'
Then he AGAIN said that the doctor said it is nothing serious, but nothing this week!

Then on that weekend I've texted him what does he thinks about me saying that I like him in a funny way.

He didn't reply and this bugs me because he is my 'friend' for 10 years, he is my brother's best friend. At least he could say something like ' hey sorry I like you as a friend or we can meet for a coffe or talk'
I am not some random chick he met at a bar a week ago...

I don't understand why. Because he is shy. But also he was the one that started to flirt with me and sent me his naked photo when we joked, well not of his d..ck it wasn't like that. Few weeks ago when we met ater his nude photo, he acted normal like he does all of these 10 years, I was a bit shy and confused the whole time.

I don't understand him and why is he acting like this.
I've tried, he is ignoring me. Okay I can understand that he is not into me, but for the Christ's sake he was always texting me throught this 10 years. He never really asked me on a real date untill a month ago. He knows me very well, i couldn't turn him off by a drunken text asking him what does he thinks about me liking him. He knows that I am funny and a bit passionate, sometimes wierd girl, LOL. So my personality couldn't turn him off or anything that I've done.

I don't get it why would someone apologise 3 times for not being able to make it saying that he wants to meet me after I texted him that I like him and if he was interested that we could meet, if not that it's fine. So, he didn't say NO, he was really sick and mentioned it for 3 times, I didn't forced him to justify to myself.

And then when I text him 'cute and funny' text asking him what does he thinks about me liking him. ZERO!

Why would a guy do that? I won't wait for him, actually it turns me off.

- - - Updated - - -

I am not desperate, I just want men opinion about this situation, because I don't understand it. Ignroing your best friend's sister who you obviously liked for a long time, who sexually attracts you, with who you always talk on special occassions for hours... when she says she likes you finally, you don't even respond.

[basilandthyme]

Oh ok. I didn't realise he was actually sick and I thought the working 24/7 was a blow off. (Nobody is so busy that they can't see someone they are interested in).

I was also going to suggest that perhaps the text you sent didn't arrive/wasn't seen by him but you've sent a follow up text - so you'd now know that was the case.

Perhaps with him being shy and all he's intimidated by you being forward. I'm also very forward about what I want and while some guys really like it, others are quite uncomfortable with it. But that's OK, I figured that if they couldn't handle me being me, then they aren't the guy for me.

At any rate, you're now getting signs that the two of you are probably incompatible in a relationship. Better to know now than waste years on him. Time to move on.

[dontaskme]

Key word being best friend's sister... No one wants to reject or dump a best friend's sister, don't you get it?!!! That's why he ignored your drunken text!

[joannabegood]

Key word being best friend's sister... No one wants to reject or dump a best friend's sister, don't you get it?!!! That's why he ignored your drunken text!

Hey Basil, yes you are right! If he can handle me, then he is not the kind of guy I want in my life.
If he is being rude, then he is an asshole, sorry...

Dontaskme LOL

Look, I told him I liked him few days before I got drunk! At 9 am in the morning, sober.... He replied that he is sick and kept apologising for it, while I was just saying ok, ok, it's fine. He doesn't need to justify himself to me saying that he can't make it a week ago and repeting it over and over again.
When I apologise for something over and over again it means that ' I am sorry and that I am really sick, but that I want to meet, so I am so frustarated that I cannot do it'
And I didn't even complain, I said ok! Big fat OKes, nothing more to his 4 texts.

That is why I don't get why he didn't reply to my drunk text! If I simply asked him- what do you think about my text from few days ago saying that I like you'

Maybe I am wrong, but exuse me if I like someone just as a friend, I'd bloody reply saying something funny, because we always joke or explain some things saying that I don't like myself that way, LOL.

Understand it? I am his best friend's sister, he should have some respect for me answering me, not bloody ignoring me for a week or not talking to me at all and leave it all behind like nothing happend! Because it did happend!
He asked me out first, he kept asking me out many times later, he sent me his sexy photo and stuff. So he WAS into me, I got INTO him. SO bloody do something about it, say NO or say YES! It's simple...don't ignore me like I am some bimbo from the bar who is harrasing you or stalking you and drawling all over you because I am not.

I deserve some answers, not this....he acts like a dick!

And if he texts me, calls me or tries to do something, his deadline is over! I won't respond to him either at all...

[basilandthyme]

Ok, your rant is all good and done - and sometimes we need to have a good rant. However, it's time to take a deep breath and let it go. I know you're frustrated, but this level of anger and name calling will become toxic to all of you if it continues.

[joannabegood]

I am sorry, I am usually polite but when someone is acting really selfish I get angry.

He is a friend and he should treat me with respect, whether or not I do a namecalling on a forum.
I am over this situation and him, because I don't like him anymore the way I have. He lost my respect, because I've thought he was a nice guy, smart and actually the one with good manners, just quiet one and shy.
But I've realized he is not that.

There are principles in life. If some stranger asked you out, you went out, kissed and stuff. He can vanish, even after a month of dating without any explanation if you weren't official. People don't need to justify to strangers at all.

But if someone is someone's friend and you weren't a couple is almost the same situation, but very different stuff. When that person says he/she likes you. I think good manners say that you at least can write something compassionate by not ignoring a person who actually had some feelings for you.

I can ignore a stranger and stop texting him, answering his calls, but I never ignore someone who is my friend or knows my family and friends by being a coward acting rude. It's called manners.
He could respond me that he is not into me. Or something like this:
Me:'What do you think about me liking you?'
He:' Well, I don't think it's a good idea because of your brother, I'm sorry'

That's all, I wouldn't use names, I wouldn't be angry. I will never understand people who are cowards and avoid the problems. Because the problems won't vanish. I am still here, I will see him on some occasion. And the worst thing about it is that my brother will be next to me around the people we all know. That is an awkard situation! This is what is bothering me too.

[basilandthyme]

Ok, I'll leave you to it then.