Helpful ways to go forward happier

[sunshine1]

I am new here. Going onto this forum I believe is one of the steps and stages that I'm going through in dealing with this intense heartbreak. He told me to "move on" one week ago but the relationship started with lies which we never had for year and a half of a great relationship. We had plans to be together forever and those were his words and then a situation came up that he didn't like and he didn't want to deal with it. The pain of knowing our relationship wasn't worth enough to work it out hurts so much. He lied about wanting to rethink things and work it out and I was an emotional wreck for three weeks. I just cried and cried but find myself reading more and looking through ways to get through this. If there are any success stories out there are methods to stop thinking about all of the good times that make me so sad and the triggers that make me think of him would be so helpful. Thank you

[Wakeup]

Here's a link: Start reading. (there are tons more if you just google "how to get over a breakup")

[url=http://www.professional-counselling.com/getting-over-a-breakup-and-forget.html#.VSFWx-lFBjo]How to get over a breakup and forget[/url]

So: What was the straw that broke the camel's back. You don't give any details.

[sunshine1]

Basically I am looking for new ways to MoveOn. To start my day and be positive make changes and stop thinking about all the good times

[basilandthyme]

Wakeup's question about where it all went wrong is relevant. Part of moving forward is learning to recognise that it wasn't all good times and looking at the relationship with a more realistic view.

You say "the relationship started with lies which we never had for a year and a half of great relationship". This doesn't make sense at all. Can you explain further?

Generally speaking, relationships end for a reason. What was his reason for ending it?

[Wakeup]

Yep... still waiting to hear WHY you broke up in the first place. You're still very much keeping him on a pedestal and us pointing out why he shouldn't be up there will indeed help you to process.

[sunshine1]

His lies were around wanting to work things out when the truth was he wanted it to be over. He kept dragging me along making phone calls because he didn't want to deal with me and tell me that he wanted it to be over. He kept it bottled up and didn't talk to me. Situation happened that he didn't like so basically he just shut me out instead of talking about it. During the relationship before this incident he was always open and honest and said we would work through anything clearly that wasn't the case when he just stop talking to me and didn't feel the relationship was working through.

[basilandthyme]

Wakeup and I are trying to find out what was wrong with the relationship to help you get some direction on how to get over it. Let me ask again:

You said that the relationship started with lies? What lies were said in the beginning? What was wrong with the relationship which caused him to end it?

If you're not prepared to tell us why he was unhappy and what things annoyed you in the relationship, we can't help you.

As for him 'lying' about not wanting it to be over, it's very common for people to need a bit of space while they figure out whether or not to save it and how to go about ending it. Taking three weeks to sort it out in his own head does not equate to lying.