Once a cheater always a cheater ?

[Mark1982]

My parter has always been in relationships that have involved one of them cheating on their partner to be together. Now we are together after she cheated on her bf at the time, and also cheating on me with that bf.

Is it unrealistic to think it can stop. Or is she always going to cheat regardless of who she's with?


Thanks
MK

[eve.ashley]

My parter has always been in relationships that have involved one of them cheating on their partner to be together. Now we are together after she cheated on her bf at the time, and also cheating on me with that bf.

Is it unrealistic to think it can stop. Or is she always going to cheat regardless of who she's with?


Thanks
MK

i cannot say. thee are habitual cheater, they never change. a person can be a habitual cheater for a number of reasons.
(all of whihc come down to being a narcissist beast, more or less.)

there are however, decent people pushed to cheating by a very controlling partner.

codependent people who keep falling for a toxic person and trying to get away from them...

there are also just folks who make a mistake...once... etc...

i must agree it doesn't look too well for your gf, but i have too little info about her behaviour to voice an opinion...

[Wakeup]

there are however, decent people pushed to cheating by a very controlling partner.

No.. there are codependent people that are too addicted to the shitty life with their partner to leave so they cheat.

@ OP: The problem with chronic cheaters is that they are addicted to new relationship energy so once they and their primary partner's "NRE" wanes, the addicted go out and scout for a fix from someone else. These people should not be so sociopathic as to promise monogamy when they are incapable of remaining in that dynamic without therapy with a sex addiction counselor to help them change and give up their need for strange.

Your current girlfriend sounds like one of those that should refrain from committed relationships, or she should find someone who is like her and also needs strange and agrees to an open relationship because they are the same (not to settle) or she should get the sex addiction counselling it appears she may need.

Don't expect her to change for you or anyone else.

[TheEvilJester]

To be 100% honest, it is not necessarily DEFINITELY always true to say "once a cheater, always a cheater." I do lean towards thinking once somebody has proven themselves capable of this it is hard to believe they won't do it again. However, there ARE people who cheat only to realize how horrible of a mistake it was and actually learn from it and never repeat the same mistake. Though, as a standard rule of thumb, people tend not to change.

Here's the thing, though. She hasn't cheated once. This was no little "whoopsie." She has cheated repeatedly. Hell, she even got into a relationship with you through cheating on the chap that was her boyfriend at the time. By your own admission, she then also cheated on you with that very same boyfriend. So, it isn't like she had one little slip up and then learned from her mistake. She has done this repeatedly.... and even done it to you. She's not going to change. She obviously doesn't give a crap about anybody's feelings but her own.

Unless you are into the idea of an open relationship, I would say you are much better off without her. Let her go find somebody else who will be fine with that. If it is what you want, then you deserve somebody who will treat you as their one and only, not just the latest notch on her bedpost.