She talks about dating but I dont. Why?

[ryan4298]

I know this girl at work. We are friends and I haven't tried to be more than that. She said we should have lunch and we did. We had a good time and she said we should do it again. Then she suddenly stopped returning my texts. After some time we talked and she said she was worried we would get too close. I told her I just wanted to be friends and we were good. Then a few days ago we got into it over something small. And I mentioned we don't talk that much anymore. To which she says "why is that messed up were not dating." Any thoughts?

[basilandthyme]

She's interested in dating you. But you're not interested in dating her. It's awkwardness is because of the imbalance in what you both want.

I caution you against maintaining any type of close friendship with her. She's not going to get over you if you're there inadvertently stoking the fires of her passion

[SDelight]

I think she is trying to deal with herself before it gets worse. She seems to be interested in you. I think if you're not interested to slowly back away and let her deal with it. If you are interested ask her to talk to you outside work, and see what's up with her.

[Wakeup]

I think she is simply asking you why you think its messed up that the two of you not talking a lot to one another when you are not dating and you're not more then work buddies. Surely it is normal for two people who are not more then work associates to be only talking to one another occasionally?

- - - Updated - - -

I'll add that I don't think she's interested in you at all and that she is worried that YOU will get too close to her if you remain friends.

[ryan4298]

I get what you're saying. Whats throwing me off is that I've had a number of female work friends and this has never happened before. I've talked to a few of them about this and they don't get it either. And since it is work I don't want to throw the "dating" thing around. I get that its kind of a weird situation, I just wanted some advice without things getting awkward.

[Wakeup]

Ahh, don't even give it another thought. Let her do any contact and just refrain from being the one to include her in on any after work group outings and keep your conversations to about work and the weather. She sounds rather paranoid to be honest.