did i push her away

[nickgroce]

im in love with my friend. she knows it and we dated for a bit but she said that it wouldnt lead to anywhere because she wants to travel the world and i dont. which is true

she went to oklahoma for a job interview monday. i got drunk friday and told her i hope she moved down there. she said why and i said i dont know i just hope you do. she said my opinon wouldnt affect her decision and got snotty which i understood

i then told her the next morning after i sobered up that i just feel like she would regret taking the opportunity to move down there. she said she didnt think i would know what she would regret

then i said it was just my opinion and she said i didnt ask for your opinion

she said today that she wasnt moving down there

i told her im glad shes staying

she said ..thats a change of heart since you wanted me gone

i said ..i didnt truly want you gone. i was excited for you and happy for the chance you were getting but i truly wanted you to stay. i hope you understand

she said yea i do


do you think i pushed her away?

[TheEvilJester]

It's hard to say just based on that. I would sort of doubt a simple little disagreement/argument like that would be enough to completely change somebody's mind about another person. I will say this, though.... She's told you already that she doesn't think you two will work out because she wants to travel and you do not. There is nothing wrong with her for wanting to travel, just as well as there is nothing wrong with you for not wanting to do so. However, unless that somehow changes (for one or the other of you) then I don't see how you can necessarily expect to work out as a couple. At least not until she feels satisfied with her travel and ready to settle down, which would likely be years and years down the road.

So, as hard as it may be, maybe it is honestly in your best interest (yours and hers) just to make a clean break. If one of you tries to force yourself to be okay with a lifestyle you do not want, that is never going to work out. It will likely just lead to a lot of heartache and most likely result in the relationship ending anyway. By that point you'll have been together longer, so breaking up will hurt more and be even harder. I know it may not be the advice you want to hear, so I apologize for not being able to be optimistic on this one, but it does truly sound like a situation where it would be best to be two mature adults who care for each other a great deal, but realize they are just not meant to be together at this time. Good luck to you.

[Wakeup]

im in love with my friend. she knows it and we dated for a bit but she said that it wouldnt lead to anywhere because she wants to travel the world and i dont. which is true

she went to oklahoma for a job interview monday. i got drunk friday and told her i hope she moved down there. she said why and i said i dont know i just hope you do. she said my opinon wouldnt affect her decision and got snotty which i understood

i then told her the next morning after i sobered up that i just feel like she would regret taking the opportunity to move down there. she said she didnt think i would know what she would regret

then i said it was just my opinion and she said i didnt ask for your opinion

she said today that she wasnt moving down there

i told her im glad shes staying

she said ..thats a change of heart since you wanted me gone

i said ..i didnt truly want you gone. i was excited for you and happy for the chance you were getting but i truly wanted you to stay. i hope you understand

she said yea i do


do you think i pushed her away?

She was never yours so I doubt you pushed her anywhere. She sounds like she has a mind of her own and wouldn't let anything you say or do make her come to ANY conclusions one way or the other.

You waste your good dating years crushing on your "friend" instead of distancing yourself from her so you can be open enough in heart and mind to find someone that actually cares for you like you care for her.