Here goes.

I'm crazy about my best friend and he is aware of it. He told me he needed to find himself before he brought anyone else into his life, which is understandable given his recent past relationships. Lately I've felt him pulling away from me, even after we had a big long conversation about how we would never cut each other out of the other's life and have recently started feeling like he is keeping me as an option in case no one better comes into his life that is worthy. We used to flirt, hang out, text all the time and then that all just disappeared. There was one point last summer that all of our friends thought we were together because of the way we acted, but we were both in other relationships so clearly there is chemistry there.

It really is a long story between us that more like a roller coaster than a story. The worst part is after telling him how I feel and that I want to be more than just friends I fell guilty when talking to other guys that I find attractive. Even tonight I was hanging out with my adopted big brother, some friends and my ex (we're friends now, almost 9 months later we can tolerate being around one another) and my ex was being flirty and kept asking about my new interest and if there was anything going on there. The whole time I was around him I felt like I was cheating on my friend because he doesn't like it when the ex and I hang out. Which is bull poop because he really should have no say in who I chose to hangout with. There is definitely a double standard happening in whatever mess this is. He sees me flirting with other guys/getting hit on and he is allowed to get upset and angry, yet if I see him flirting/being hit on I'm not allowed to get upset because he "isn't mine to get upset about those things over". So needless to say I am super confused.

Do I just cut ties with this guy all together letting 2 years of friendship go down the drain?
Do I stand beside him and just let him know that I'm always there and I support him through this journey of self discovery?
If I stand by him do I just keep my fingers crossed that I'm the one at the end of this that he likes?

I'm honestly so lost and have no one to talk to about it.