I am 23years old, working and single for 5 and half years. I had a boyfriend before but my dad disapproved it and asked me to choose between my ex boyfriend and him. That's how strict he is.
I am so confused now that I thought I am with the person that will love me truly and will ask my hand from my dad. My dad is so strict when it comes in choosing a guy because we are chinese he wants me to choose a chinese guy too. Until one day this other guy my friend from USA he's not a chinese and we've been friends for years but not that close we became close friends when we hang out and had more time to talk with each other. Until he became like my bestfriend and I told him my problems like family friends and also about the guy I've fallen for and wanted a "go with the flow relationship thing" He got mad because I told him the treatment I got and the efforts I did. He got mad because he said "he already have you liking him he's really really lucky but you're not you don't deserve to be treated like that. He should be the one who'll be making such efforts and make you feel so special and important." I cried because he asked me questions if I think I deserve him if he is like this or like that and my answers were "no". He gave me reasons to smile to be positive always and to keep going and not to lose hope in love. Maybe I am really longing for someone who will be really serious at me as I don't want to enter an unsure relationship and just for temporary. My bestfriend wanted us to be really close friends and best friends but something happened. He was showing something that I knew not like for close friends. He became very sweet telling me his future plans which he always includes me in his plans that made me felt so special.. He made my everyday so special wherever he goes he took pictures and send it to me like I am there also seeing those beautiful places where he wished that I was there. Until he told me that he wanted me not just "want" that he's falling in love with me. He always ask me not to have a boyfriend for 2-3 years and wait for the right person. He said he always dreamt of me not like just an ordinary person but his wife and he said what he feels is really unusual and it just happened now he can't explain he said he just felt it. We were talking alot about different stuffs and also about my family and I saw his perseverance to get a chance in meeting my dad and will enjoy the dinner or any meal with my family which I never see at any other guys. I was so happy that I thought I've found "the one". I am happy because I'm feeling something for him but not that sure but I am willing to give him a chance to prove himself that he truly wanted me to be part of his life forever. But I think I was mistaken with all of these.. Because I remember that I saw once at facebook that he got into a relationship last year. I thought they already separated because he is treating me really special but I have doubts so I checked again his facebook then I saw it. It's confirmed he has a girlfriend. At first I was like ignoring it because my thinking is we are just friends there's nothing wrong with this until he was talking about proposals marriage and family already and it was the first time that someone opened up that kind of conversation in me which banged my head that there's something wrong now so I asked him again because at first he didn't answered straight so I got a chance again to ask him I said "I think this is wrong because you have a girlfriend right?" Then he said yes. I got mad and hurt and I said he is so unfair and he kept on saying he's sorry I told him not to say sorry only to me but also to his girlfriend. He kept on saying he's sorry and he don't want to lose me especially our friendship. That's what I wanted too not to lose our friendship because he's so important to me also. He said he just wanted to be close to me and didn't knew that he'll be falling for me. He said he can't control it he just felt it growing. Now we are in this kind of set up we knew that there's something wrong. I don't want to ruin other relationship I don't want someone to suffer and be hurt because of me so I asked my brother about this and he said I am a lady I shouldn't be waiting for 3 years for this man who got a girlfriend and might do this also to me. I am so special and not a spare. He thinks that this man is not truly serious about me. He reminded me that this will be sinful and wrong if I will fall for him too.. So I said ofcourse I know what I am doing I don't want to ruin their relationship. I said to myself why is this happening now that I am ready to give a chance to someone I think my father gonna like too even he's not a chinese because of his perseverance and being stable in life have businesses also which proves he can feed me and give me a good life. Now I am stuck again maybe I am chasing the time and that person before my father make a move for me to meet a chinese guy that he thinks the best man for me and he already got one now. Help me what should I do.. because he's still not giving up on me he said he don't want to lose me he don't know what to do because he's falling for me more even it's wrong he still wanted to talk to me even he don't know really what to do even he said he's having a hard time now as he sees me more in his future that any other girls included his gf.
He thinks before its okay we are not doing wrong because he's the only one who is falling for me that he thinks I don't feel the same way but now I think I do. Should I ended our communication to help me stop what I am feeling and to avoid ruining other relationship or still talk to him like friends to keep our friendship? Or should I wait for what he said "3years thing"? I don't know.. Hope you could help me thank you.