Mixed signals from a female colleague?

[coldpizza]

Hey,

Kinda stuck on this one.. Bare with me as this could get lengthy. I've been at my current job for nearly 8 months now. And there's a really nice girl I like there. She's in a different department from me and it's also on a different floor. So I hardly see her. The only time I see her is when she comes up to my department to catch up colleagues she used to work with (where I work now), she would be having a wee chat or laugh with them. And the other times are when I'm down on her floor to speak to another area.

I make small chat with her when I see her, and to me, she's dead pleasant and a very nice person - always saying hi or waving at a distance/ behind the window of a meeting room. She does show a bit of the body language of that she may be interested but at the same time, I don't know if that's her personality, just friendly. I've caught her looking at me and she's also caught me lol. So she called up to my department and I answered, asking the most simplest of queries. Then she sent me a short, but a very enthusiastic, follow up email to thank me for the help.

After that, I've sent her a few emails (work related), and the most recent one she asked for me to call her to discuss it as it was a bit more complicated. So we chatted about it for a few minutes and we joked a bit and stuff, tiny doses of flirting etc. So at this point I was thinking maybe...or maybe still she’s just being nice.

Anyway, a works night out was in place on the same day of that call. She didn't show up till later on due to her work schedule. Before she arrived one of the guys (very drunk) started going round saying "you and her would be a perfect couple". (Mind you, I've not told anyone that I do actually like her). So he's dancing about, yelling that, while I'm standing there pretending not knowing what was going on. He's worked with her for years and is good friends with her.

So when she did show up, she pretty much avoided me the whole night. I said hi the first time and she said hi as well but it ended straight away she went and hugged a colleague and started chatting away. Intoxicated and confused as I was, I still managed to keep cool and try not to make a fool of out myself. I just chatted away with other colleagues. So the bar closed and the remainder of us decided we go to another one.

When we got there I tried to talk to her but again she was dead quick to end it and started talking to the same people she had been with all night. So I went and asked some colleagues that have known her for longer to find out if she was single and it would seem so, from what I remember anyway - this may also cause a bit of office gossip lol.

So weekend’s over, we’re back at work. I was walking to the mail room and she called me over to say hi as she was behind me, and we chatted briefly about the night out before her manager showed up lol. She said some that a few of them went to our colleagues’ flat (the one who was saying we would be “perfect”) to drink some more. When we were talking she said it like she was really wasted and couldn't remember much from the moment we left the first bar, so dunno if she was avoiding any topics lol

So, my question is.. Why is she so approachable and friendly at work, but almost completely ignores me on a night out? Am I over analyzing everything and possibly misread her?

Thanks for taking the time to read this, any pointers would be great

[basilandthyme]

You'd both had a skinful on the night out. Forget about that night and look at what happens when you're both sober.

Anyway, most of what you're writing is based on body language and her general friendliness. And you're quite right to wonder if she's fun and friendly with everyone - she may well be just a lovely, bubbly, friendly person. The only way to find out more is to actually get to know her. Ask her about her weekend or hobbies and interests.