What do I do now?

[anonymous26]

Hey guys, I posted about this situation back in November last year but the thread has been closed now, I haven't been on here for awhile and to be honest had forgotten about it until recently when things regarding the situation I'm in took a unexpected turn (for possibly the better) let me fill you in with the situation (to refresh peoples memories)..

I have been meeting up with an old friend I had got back in touch with over the past 3 years, things were going great, we would meet up, have a catch up and a laugh and go for a coffee and something to eat, he would always end up paying, even when I'd offer to pay or go halves. We met up on serval occasions, local and other places and would regularly text. He'd offer to pick me up if we decided to meet further a field and even when I believe it to be out of his way and he would have to go back on himself. We've got so much in common it's weird and we always seem to find something to talk about (75% of the time it turning into something dirty) yes I would say we flirt quite a bit. And I would say he's quite caring. He's always offering to help me if I need it with my current college work, and has offered to lend me any books which may help me in my courses. (We are in the same profession).. I've always been shy and unconfident and have kept my feelings to myself.. He has told me several occasions about his previous breakup, not completely but bits and bobs, but enough for me to understand what may have happened, and he has admitted it's holding him back from moving on. But there have been these little hints which make me think he likes me but isn't ready... I love him, I admit I have feeling for him but I'm scared that if I say anything, how would it affect our relationship, something I couldn't bare ruining.

So I believe that was most of what I had mentioned in my previous post, (and the most, if not all of the people who replied said how he likes me in the same way) However since I last posted things have made a slight change, and this is now where I am in need of advice..

In my previous posts I mentioned how I'm planning to go to uni and one of my top favourites is in the city he wants to move too, he was planning to move there this year, but things happened and he decided to stay a little longer, and instead moved closer to where he works (which is also closer to where I live- not that that means anything). Anyway during the Easter holidays he sent me a text asking if I wanted to meet up and I accepted and we arrange a time and place. We did our normal stuff- went round town, spoke about stuff of interest, and then I offered to drive him home (he walked in, meaning he lived nearer) when we arrived at his place he invited me in for a drink, where we spoke about things. We started watching a DVD when I mentioned something and he began tapping me on the head with a cardboard tube, being 'weapon' free I began poking him and would poke me back, eventually he asked if I was ticklish which I tried to denied but he began to tickle me anyway, which of course sent me into giggles. (Which I see as a BIG hint that he likes me) would you not agree? Anyway he must have saw something in me as we were quite close, his arms were wrapped around me at this stage and I wasn't letting him move his hands (excuse to stop him tickling me, really I liked it, having his arms around me like that).. I guess if there was a moment for something to happen, that was it and me being to unconfident person I am froze in his arms, starring at his eyes! He kept asking me what? and I couldn't admit to him I liked him.. Later he said how he could tell I liked 'someone' but didn't want to do anything about it for scared of how it may affect the relationship. He knew exactly how I was feeling and what was going through my mind. It was weird but at the same time a relief. At least he knew something, right? We continued to text when I left, him going on to saying if I feel like I want to talk or share my feelings I know where he is... Does he actually know my feelings are for him and not someone else?

Anyway, following this meet up I couldn't get the whole tickling and sitting on the sofa his arms wrapped around me out of my head, it was driving me crazy, trying to work it all out. Eventually, somewhere within me I found the courage to send him a text, explaining about my feelings etc, but he didn't text back, so I began thinking I'd made a mistake, I regret sending the text and was annoyed with myself. Yet at the same time I still couldn't work out why if he didn't have feelings for me, was he trying to tickle me, when I held his hands/arms wrapped around me, if he didn't want it he would have attempted to move them away or say something. But he didn't. A week later still no text I sent another about a get together I was having and had invited him too, he replied- bit not to do with the text I had just sent but the one he didn't reply to in the first place, saying he didn't get the whole text and his phone was playing up. Ok, makes sense now, so we were texting and I explained how it was about something we spoke about when we met up and how I felt. He apologised, in the end I sent him another one, not so detailed more about how I wasn't sure and how I felt nervous etc, he didn't text back.. I left it, I didn't want to ruin anything else we still had.

We've texted since, as I asked if he was coming to the get together which he couldn't come to in the end, but he suggested we should meet up soon instead.. Has the last time we met been playing on his mind too? Did he really get the texts, but didn't know what to think so lied and said his phone has been playing up? I'm so confused right now, I don't know how far my confidence will allow me to go, in admitting to him..

I can't stop thinking about it, him.. What happened the last time we met up.. Any suggestions and advice welcome. Thanks in advance!

[anonymous26]

So we've been texting loads lately, and as I had been home alone lately I asked if I could go round to his, he said it was fine and I went round the other day, we didn't really do much, just talked about stuff, I'd had a long couple of days with college work so it was quite ice to have some company outside.. But nothing happened, but then I guess we were both quite tired, I stayed for a good 3 hours before I had to go. He didn't hint for me to leave but I had to go home and sort some things out.. Plus sleep was beckoning me.. He said we should do something else soon, so I guess it's all steps in the right direction. But still advice and tips would be greatly accepted. We've been texting each other a lot more lately as well. (Sorry for the double post, is double posting allowed here?)

[DarkRobe]

welll I am glad things are getting better for you!
It's nice you got to hang out!
Hopefully things get better for you soon!

[anonymous26]

Things aren't really getting better DarkRobe, ok we got to hang out but I'm still as confused and no step closer to doing anything about it, even when I thought I was. I've now taken a backwards step.. Although I do hope your right about the last part of your comment...

Since we met up that week we had been texting quite a bit, with most of the conversations starting on his part and I went round to his again at the weekend where I stayed for almost five hours. It all started off innocent, talking about how we were, what we've been up too, what we had planned for the half term etc

He likes to get me to decide stuff, eg what to do, talk about etc. But this always makes me go undeceive and not have a clue what to do, this and the fact I have feelings for him and I want him to make choices as well too. I don't won't to be the one making the plans for us both. He then found out I'm only undeceive like this when I'm around him, and he couldn't work out why...

Anyway, we ended up both sitting on the sofa talking and he was playfully teasing, making hand gestures etc and I was trying to stop him, at one point I was leaning across him trying to grab his arm to stop the hand gestures but he would just do it with his other arm, which I managed to trap behind my back so I could carry on getting the other one. He ended up tickling me with the hand I had trapped..
There were times when we were just starring at each other, it was like a starring competition, and then he would mention the look I had on my face.

So we do all this stuff, playful flirting, teasing, couple stuff when we are sat together on the sofa but then when it comes to him talking about the look I do and feelings, I freeze and don't know what to say or how to admit my feelings. Do you think he knows and he's waiting for me to say? But then he'll say something which makes me think he doesn't and/or he's not interested and I become so confused as I've seen all these 'hints' and 'flirt ness' and the. He comes across and says something which makes him like he's not interested. Or he thinks I like someone else...

He said something as well which I think I understood but he doesn't think I did and I left it at that. We had been talking about something, possibly messing around and he said something about how often would he have access to go inside the dome? Or something like that, which I kind of took as a metaphor and don't think we shall go there. Could this be a hint that he wants more than just friendship too?

Please help me, with any advice possible.. Advice and tips greatly appreciated.