he broke my heart and I nead your thoughts on this please.

[agirlintheworld]

So, I had a boyfriend for almost two years. We were in a long distance relationship, he's american and I'm european.
Over all our relationship has been pretty good, with upps and downs like most relationships. However, the past three months
has been rough. I've gone through something dificult in my family and haven really been able to be the happy girl I usually am,
and I think I've been way to pessimistic, a bit clingy perhaps and just fragile. He's been very distant and the last couple
of weeks we barely talked, but he kept texting I love you so much and I miss you pretty much everyday.

I confronted him on the phone, I was tired of being neglected all the time. We didn't talk for over a weak, he barely
responded to messages etc. I could just feel that something wasn't right. I told him how I felt, and that I felt like we were not
in a relationship since we didn't stay in contact. Long story short, he ended up saying, okey I think we should break up, I know
it's the right thing to do. He told me he really love me, he was crying and he said he would miss me so so much etc.
I questioned his decision and he acted rathercoldly and said that I will never get him back, that he could be my friend as long
as I'm not trying to get him back because it is not going to happen. Nedless to say, I'm just devastated.
I will even study in America from the fall 2015, and I asked him if he didn't even want to see how that goes, he said No.
We talked for a while, about memories and things, he kept telling me about things he loved in our relationship, and how happy he's
been while I were with him in america. At the same time he were saying that he started to feel this the last couple of times he had me there,
which I can understand a little bit since I wasn't all myself. He said he's been thinking about it, leaving me, but that he didn't
dare to take that step because he was affraid to make a misstake, he also said he wanted to see if his feelings would change.

I think I pushed him over the edge a little bit, but I can't help thinking that it's odd that he kind of decided to leave me just like that,
so súddenly. I'm also thinking that it must be completly impossible to tell someone you love and know you will miss that his feelings
that has grown colder for me never will change, right? I mean, it makes sense to feel like that when you break up, otherwise it's rather pointless
but who knows how you'll feel in a month or two. How can someone possibly know the outcome of leaving someone they talked with pretty much
everyday for two years? I mean even I can't be sure what I feel about him as time passes. He also said that he can never be what I nead, it was rather hurtful because i think he is a good person. Very confused about what he wants in his life, but not at all a bad person.

I just really nead some other peoples thoughts on this, I'm just left hearbroken and chocked.
I'm trying to be calm and not get too low, but it''s difficult. I'm pending between crying and feeling strong, feeling hope
and feeling hopeless.

I think he's been treating me pretty bad, and just hope that he will realize what I mean to him.
I've always been there to support, and as he himself said have a lot of love in my heart.
We are in nc for few weeks, he decided that and I will respect it.
I miss him so much it hurts, but whatever happens I hope that we at least can build up the friendship
between us again somehow, I don't want him out of my life even though I feel very hurt by him atm.

[woody]

Okay, well, first off I am sorry your going through this; but what you need to remember is, when we meet the right fit and life throws either person a wave that renders one sad, blue, not themselves or what have you, the other person doesn't distance themselves; they pull in and support because when it is the right kind of fit, two become one and work together as a unit ever strong.

I'm sorry to say this next part but have you considered that this man, even though he's kind and you like him, but have you considered that he's just Not the man for You.

Long distance relationships are never easy but you two have had time together now and then. Sounds like you had fun together while tripping over seas but do you really know who he is or more importantly, how the two of you are together on a simple level...?

I would imagine the usual suspects of this recent and surprising distance he has placed and i'll be blunt.
He may have met someone else... Being temporarily spineless as many people are when they meet someone else while with someone already, he simply cannot muster the courage to tell you the whole truth; only parts...
The whole truth would be better over sugar coating as sugar coating may leave out pertinent details you need to move on.
My impression? You have placed your idea of him rather high up; Perhaps it is not this particular man you long for but rather the love you know you need and wish to give back to....

Life will happen. Go do your studies, live and be happy. When you meet the right fit, both of you will simply know and that will be that. Untouchable, pure, vulnerable, empowering, scary and oh so wonderful.....

good luck,
woody

[agirlintheworld]

Okay, well, first off I am sorry your going through this; but what you need to remember is, when we meet the right fit and life throws either person a wave that renders one sad, blue, not themselves or what have you, the other person doesn't distance themselves; they pull in and support because when it is the right kind of fit, two become one and work together as a unit ever strong.

I'm sorry to say this next part but have you considered that this man, even though he's kind and you like him, but have you considered that he's just Not the man for You.

Long distance relationships are never easy but you two have had time together now and then. Sounds like you had fun together while tripping over seas but do you really know who he is or more importantly, how the two of you are together on a simple level...?

I would imagine the usual suspects of this recent and surprising distance he has placed and i'll be blunt.
He may have met someone else... Being temporarily spineless as many people are when they meet someone else while with someone already, he simply cannot muster the courage to tell you the whole truth; only parts...
The whole truth would be better over sugar coating as sugar coating may leave out pertinent details you need to move on.
My impression? You have placed your idea of him rather high up; Perhaps it is not this particular man you long for but rather the love you know you need and wish to give back to....

Life will happen. Go do your studies, live and be happy. When you meet the right fit, both of you will simply know and that will be that. Untouchable, pure, vulnerable, empowering, scary and oh so wonderful.....

good luck,
woody

Thanks for taking time to write me.
I think I know this person very well, we've spent a lot of time together and have helped each other through a lot
of things during our time together. It is just that this last rough patch was really hard for us to get out of.
He's thinking quite a bit about life, and if he want's to start a family or not, or persue other dreams,
in short, he's rather torned.

I'm pretty sure he didn't meet anyone else behind my back, I do trust him and since we were in a long distance
relationship it was even more important for us to build a relationship on trust.
I don't think of him as a kind person that I like, I love this man to bits, he is my best friend, what we had meant
the world to me, and it really was a person I would consider a future with.

Perhaps he got scared since we were going to close the distant, perhaps he's occupied eith all of his thoughts.
He might ber bored since it is hard to not be able to see your partner and couldn't picture a brighter future,
there might be a lot of reasons. But I trust him. I just don't understand his feelings right now, neither does he,
but I do believe he love me which is why I don't understand his choice. One of the last things he sad was that
what we had was truly beautiful.