[HELP] I still love my EX and she still loves me but...

[FAlex]

Hello, My GF broke up with me like 6 days ago and we stay'd friends and we started to talk very nice again, we still love each other a lot but we simply don't get along.
The main problem is that she will be migrating to the UK and she wants me to go with her (because she also says it's a possibility of us getting better along) but I'm scared because I currently have a job I love and don't wana lose to a mistake.
We were together 2 years and 2 month and she broke up with me because we were constantly arguing.

She doesn't really treat me like a boyfriend though, she treats me like a brother, she bosses me around and always ask me to do a massage to her feet every single time we are together. Sometimes we have good times but I sometimes feel she's using me.

The biggest problem of this is that I think I'm ugly and will NEVER EVER find the right person for me. So I'm clinging VERY hard to the current EX-Girlfrind. I don't know if it's worth the risk of losing the job I love for an attempt that will probably not work again.


Not sure if I should risk the job I love for a Girl that we didn't get along very well and we attmpted tons of times to continue the relationshiop and it didn't work well.
She's very possesive, she controls my FB and SMS the whole time.

I love her a LOT and so does she(or so she says). I really don't know what to do. I have the feeling that I will never find someone again.
The problem if I deny this request she will probably be mad with me forever even if she ends up returning in a year.


I have attempted to kill myself a couple of times because I just don't want to feel like feeling like this, If I lose her that I'll be forever alone. Even though I'm only 21 Years old.

The biggest problem is that everything needs to go the way she wants, if I say/do something small outside what she wants she gets MAD for stupid reasons. One time she got mad because I said she was driving fast and I told her that se should slow down because I'm afraid she will one day have an accident and I don't whant that to happen. She got mad and started saying this is my life I do it how I want to and never shut it up, 5minute before we were happy and it's always shit like this that gives us problems.

In the UK the lifestyle is indeed better than here in Portugal but what if something doesn't go as planned? We don't get along again or if the job provided just won't work for us, or she can't be far away from her family.

I don't know what to do, I just want a succesfull love life.

[YourGirl]

Wow...Thanks for sharing this with us FAlex. I don't blame you for wanting a successful love life, everyone is seeking unconditional Love. Let me ask you something. What is your definition of love? Does your definition contain the words 'controlling,' how about 'possessive' or 'clingy'?? What I'm trying to make you realize is that your relationship with her has created an unhealthy soul-tie. I don't know what keeps you so close to her, is it the time you have spent with her, or maybe the intimacy you've felt with her? I need you to understand there's a difference between a healthy and not-healthy relationship. If both of yall truly love each other, then you and her need to come to a mutual agreement. You mentioned that y'all argue a lot. Well STOP IT. If you want to save anything, don't allow yourself to argue, work things out with her by talking it out without changing your tone of voice. Be calm about it. Many times Woman get into the habit of bossing Man around, which isn't right. In a relationship no one OWN anyone. Love isn't about forcing someone to do something. Love isn't supposed to make you feel like you can't take care of your own FB. Have you done something in the past that has made her lose your trust? It sounds like you're more scared of her reaction to your choice. Someone who loves you will push you to do what bring you happiness. If she will threaten you to go with her or lose her, then that's not a good girlfriend. Don't be scared of walking away. I've been there before, but I would rather want you to be happy than to lose your job and spend the rest of your life being controlled. Don't think you won't find love again. You will.