ex still in contact?

[sweetmama83]

Hi guys, need advice please. I have known my ex since we were 17 (so nearly 15 years) we lost our virginity together and have been friends for a long time. we lost contact for about 8 years when i moved away and he got married and i met someone else. in 2012 we both got in contact again and were both single, ended up dating for nearly 2 years when he suddenly ended it his excuse was 'he didnt love me anymore'. We didnt speak for about 3 months and slowly got back together but dated on and off for about 5 months but he was depressed and the relationship didnt go anywhere. he is now seeing someone else who is the total opposite to me, he is actually engaged to her but she is really nasty to him. constantly puts him down, takes his money and has effected his relationship with his friends. they have been together over a year and have only had sex 10 times as she in her words "sex is disgusting and why would i want to have sex with you anyway?" he has shown me the texts he gets from her and some of them are unbelievable.
The things is, even though he is with her he messages me everynight and a lot during the day when hes at work. its nothing sexual but he tells me a lot about his problems with her and everynow and again we meet up for coffee and a chat. if im ever feeling low i always tell him and he will say things like "your beautiful u have to believe in yourself" etc, he hasnt told her as she would stop us from speaking. when we hug he hangs on for a moment or two but always says things like "we are friends yeah? nothing more" he has even tried to find me dates himself but i just cant go along with it because i am still madly in love with him.
they havent moved in yet but when she stays over she spends the whole night ignoring him playing on her computer or goes to bed really early so he texts me.
Please can i ask what is going on? I dont want him to ruin his life by marrying her. they both want different things (eg he doesnt want kids) even if we cant be together i want to see him happy with someone who is worthy of him. i mean if he still loved me it would be amazing as we were extremely happy together and i think there was another reason why we split.
can anyone shed some light on this please?
thank u xx

[basilandthyme]

Firstly, I'd approach it as a regular friend and not a "friend who wants more". I'd tell him that I think he's foolish to move ahead with marriage when all he does is complain about her. If he is determined to marry this woman, he needs to quit complaining about her and learn to accept that this is who she is.

I'd also tell him that him telling you all his relationship angst behind her back is disrespectful to her and not becoming of a good man.

In short, you need to put a rocket up him regarding his own behaviour and choices.