It Went From Me Being "The One" To Him Never Wanting To Be With Me Again

[whovian]

This guy and I had been dating for a few months and everything was great up until the last couple weeks where we started arguing every couple days about things we thought differently about. We would make up and come to a compromise fairly quickly though. I was the first girl he had done so many things with, like staying the night and showing baby pictures to and generally making a legitimate commitment to. He left one morning to go to class after we had an argument the night before and kissed me goodbye then texted me to say he didn't think he could do it anymore. He then proceeded to avoid me for three days with no explanation and I went a tad overboard with constantly calling and texting him and even walking to his house to try and get an explanation. On the fourth night he came over and said he didn't know why he was doing it but that when shit hits the fan he just runs. He hugged and kissed me for the last time but said he wanted us to get back together in the future after he figured things out. We didn't talk for a week and then I messaged him and he said he had been thinking of ways we could hang out and have that cute friends stage we didn't really have because I was in Ohio for school. After that we had one more conversation and then a day later some random guy messaged me saying my ex and his sister were talking. I confronted him and he said they were talking and that he found himself in the nearly three weeks we have been apart and that he doesn't want us to get back together ever again but that he would love to hangout and be friends. I believe him and another girl, a really close friend of his, are now hanging out as well. I bought her a Plan B pill right after I got home for break and now she is singe and they are liking all of one another's posts on Facebook and her and I are like the same person mentality wise. My questions are, is either girl a rebound purely for the attention they are giving him or has he been wanting to get with this close friend and was settling for me? And if that is the case then why did he tell his mom and everyone that he knew I was "the one"? How did everything change so quickly and should I be his friend and wait for an opening to get him back or should I do the no contact ordeal and make him miss me? Is there any hope that we will be together again?

[basilandthyme]

I'm sorry you're going through this Whovian.

He told everyone that you were "The One" because he's young and naive. He hasn't yet figured out that most half decent people we date seem really amazing for the first 6-8 months and then we start to see the reality of who we're dating and whether or not we're suited.

You say he left with no explanation. But the explanation (those frequent fights) was staring you in the face. Frequent fights are a sign of incompatibility. Good relationships just don't look like this. The girl he's with now may or may not be a rebound. Only time will tell.

As for the future, no contact is the way to go. But not to manipulate him into returning (Do you really want a guy who has to be manipulated into returning?) but as a way for you to get over him. It's time to move on and find a new, great guy.

[Khocie]

I also think that he is still clueless what he wants. Many guys go through that stage. If I were you I would have not waited for his exploring because you d not know how long it might lasts. I think it is true that generally girls mature faster than boys. You both might be looking for different things from a partner.

[Wakeup]

I don't think he's clueless. But you're in denial.

You guys argued all.of.the.time... according to your opening post. It doesn't matter if you quickly distinguished those fights they all added up to him realizing that you are not the right girl for the long haul. If you were not in denial, you would have realized that as well and quickly got yourself away from HIM. That's tuff you hear, I'm sure but that is what it looks like. He's now on the prowl and looking for the next girl that he likely won't stay with for very long either. You're still in school afterall and rarely do those relationships last past graduation.

Don't let him demote you to "just friend." You don't need to sit and watch and stalk his facebook page and get hurt over and over again as he moves on. Just sever completely and heal. Worry about boys and dating another day. Just concentrate on getting over him and being the best you that you can be. Living well and showing others that you are doing better without them is the best way for you to start feeling full of self esteem and confidence.