Badly need some good piece of advice

[Neet]

It's like a third person interference and he was my best friend. It all messed up the situation between me and my guy because i was unaware of my friends feeling for me. My guy has just given up on everything and has taken a back seat and is adamant about not continuing further. He loves me and has all of those feelings and he admits that too but says he can bear the pain and be away but won't come back to me now. I have done so much to convince him that my friend would not be bothering anymore. I'm not in touch with my friend but he sometimes pokes but i guess that will eventually fade away too. Right now my concern is to get my guy back with all the trust that nothing will ruin our relationship further. I don't know what he must be expecting me to do to convince him now!

[Khocie]

Any other guy would have spoken to your guy friend smoothly not to make any lead on you because you are his girlfriend or show off with you on him to show he is marking his territory and that his love for you will not be shaken by his attempts. Now your boyfriend decided to just let it all go meaning he lacks trust on you and he is no loving you too much to fight for you if he have to. One thing I would like to advice you with is that, do not try to make him stay in your life if he does not want to, you said you have been trying to convince him nothing is going to happen with your guy friend but he still chose to shut you down, well never beg people to stay in you life if they have no desire to do so hun, people who should be in your life are those who are there willingly, because they are happy to see you happy. Just don't beg him anymore. He will come to you if he want you.

[Wakeup]

Time to stop contacting him altogether and start the grieving process so that you can stop hurting and feeling so desperate more quickly. Zero contact from here on in. Next step is to strive for the stage of indifference to him.

[Neet]

Any other guy would have spoken to your guy friend smoothly not to make any lead on you because you are his girlfriend or show off with you on him to show he is marking his territory and that his love for you will not be shaken by his attempts. Now your boyfriend decided to just let it all go meaning he lacks trust on you and he is no loving you too much to fight for you if he have to. One thing I would like to advice you with is that, do not try to make him stay in your life if he does not want to, you said you have been trying to convince him nothing is going to happen with your guy friend but he still chose to shut you down, well never beg people to stay in you life if they have no desire to do so hun, people who should be in your life are those who are there willingly, because they are happy to see you happy. Just don't beg him anymore. He will come to you if he want you.

Thank you so much for reverting.
I was away for a week and my boyfriend was worried. He still has everything intact but i fail to understand that why is he being so adamant when he himself cannot stay away from me. Even today, he talks to me the whole day, just like any other day but he does not want to be with me anymore. It is making me sick. I'm totally off my social circle, left my job, everything else is on hold and he knows all of this.
Why are guys so adamant? they seem to have no emotion.
Ok, you tell me. Think about yourself. A girl you love so much and she's doing everything possible to convince you,assuring you of things, crying and whatever. Would you still stand firm and strong? Would you just not let her prove her point?

[dontaskme]

He loves me and has all of those feelings and he admits that too but says he can bear the pain and be away but won't come back to me now.

He doesn't love you. He's telling you what you want to hear because somehow, he wants to keep his leash on you like a puppy. If he loved you, he would have cleared things up with you by a) asking you to cut off your ties with your male friend, or b) establishing clear boundaries that no one will cross. Instead, he is being mean, selfish, and cruel by breaking up with you and yet, continuing to talk to you everyday like nothing happened, and professing his BS feeling so you wont be able to move on. Forget about him. He is an asshole!

[Wakeup]

I'm totally off my social circle, left my job, everything else is on hold.

How irresponsible can you get over a guy that is emotionally immature and who doesn't care about you enough to end it or make it whole again?

Get yourself some counselling to help you get over him. You've ruined your own life and career instead of being a strong, confident woman who should be saying: " either be with me or get the fk out of my life... I WILL NOT be replying to your contact anymore until your message says you want me because I'm not waiting around for you a moment longer. I love you but I'll soon enough get to the stage of indifference to you now that I see clearly what is happening here."

It hurts because you have prolonged it and you have allowed him to act the way he currently is.

Shame on you for letting it get this far and putting all your personal power, career, health and everything else that is important in his hands. Work on your self-worth and confidence with the help of someone professional. Harsh? Yes but you need a kick in the ass and a reason to get angry instead of remaining in this pathetic state of mind you're currently in.

[Khocie]

I totally agree with all being said, my lady you need to move on he is just not worth all the hurtful emotions you are going through. Let him go and make peace with it.

[Neet]

umm yea. I think you guys are right. I have done enough. I should be cutting him off my life totally.