In love with my best friend.

[Desktop Dummy]

I was seated beside her on the first day of college. Now when we've just finished, we have become best friends. But already back when I first talked to her, I started to fall for her. As I see it, she is way out of my league and the few of her relationships in the 3 years I've known her, have all been with older and sporty guys. I do not really fall into that category, as I am kinda bookish. We have lots of common interests, as movies, literature and humor. We don't text much, but when we're together we have lots of fun and deep conversations. She is also quite physical around me; always hugging and kisses on the cheeks and stuff. At the graduation party this summer, we both got pretty wasted. Late in evening she got real emotional about us not seeing each other often after college, and feared we might lose contact. As she was crying, I tried comforting her, kissing her forehead and cheek. She misinterpreted it and went for the mouth, which ended up in an awkward and not very successful kiss. Being a coward and kinda shocked, I didn't go for another kiss. Luckily, things didn't get awkward afterwards,but my feelings for her only grew. Now she is pretty much always in my head every time I allow myself to think. With her showing how much I meant to her by crying on my shoulder for 20mins and of course the kiss, just made everything more complicated. At this point, I don't know what to do, as I have clearly fallen in love with her. But since I won't see her as much now, I fear a negative outcome of me pursuing my feelings, could jeopardize our future friendship, if it were to become awkward and sad between us. At this point, I have no idea what to do, which I guess is what I am seeking advice on. I'm sorry for the long novel, I just spilled everything on my heart.

[TheEvilJester]

Is she currently single? If so, then I do not see any reason for you not to go for it. I would even say maybe you confess to her how you feel.... but in moderation, of course. In other words, I wouldn't say you confess your undying love, or tell her you've massively been crushing on her or anything like that. Just basically tell her that you kind of always like her, but for whatever reason just never went for it, but that now you would really like to date her. I don't really know exactly what to say or how to word it. You can best judge that for the particular situation. But, why not give it a shot?

Here's the good news, you've definitely not been given any clear signs that she ONLY thinks of you as a friend. Could the kiss have meant something to her? Maybe. Could it have just been a mistake while drunk? Just as possible. The thing is, at the very least it does not sound like she has done anything to give you clear signs that she is NOT interested. So, why not give yourself a chance?

It may be possible she's interested, it may be possible she's not. You won't know unless you try. If she winds up not being interested, it is possible that it would hinder the friendship, but that is definitely a risk worth taking. Especially if you are really not sure you could/would want to remain just friends. If you have too much of a crush on her, that could make it too hard for you to remain just friends if more proves not to be possible.

It sounds like you two already have some geographical distance between you. If, unfortunately, you try and it doesn't go well, it isn't like it would be too hard to distance yourself. Yet, if you try and it DOES go well, you'd be glad you went for it, and kicking yourself for even pondering not giving it a try.

Good luck to you. I hope it goes well. :-) If not, then just remember that only means that there is somebody else out there still looking for you.