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Thread: I don't know what to do with my current relationship...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
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    I don't know what to do with my current relationship...

    So, my girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over 2 years now, and things haven't been going so great lately... A little background info... I'm 22 and she is 19. I grew up in a wealthy, successful family. I was raised to put family before EVERYTHING, and I truly believe that if you don't even have family, you have nothing. My mother has had very serious health complications since I was 8 years old. So my childhood wasn't exactly the easiest or most fun part of my life. She has been in and out of the hospital almost as long as I can remember. So I basically grew up taking care of her, and I still do to this day.
    She on the other hand grew up in a completely different environment. Her parents weren't poor, but they aren't exactly debt free... Her mother is a thief, and literally used to steal money from her. She is actually on trial right now for embezzlement... Her father is a complete scumbag. He has been cheating on her mother for the past 7 years, and he constantly tries to get her involved. He used to have her lie to her mother about where he was when she was younger. So obviously that created a lot of tension between the two of them.
    So, she grew up in a broken home, and I grew up in a loving home. We've both had our fair share of depressing times in our lives. Her's was in the form of conflict and tension between her and her parent, and mine with everything that my mother has gone through.
    Like I said, we started dating a little over two years ago. She had literally just gotten out of a pretty rough relationship just 2 weeks before we started dating, and she had been with the guy for almost 2 years. Where as I, on the other hand, hadn't dated anyone in almost 4 years. Our relationship started off rough. There was a friend of mine that was jealous, and he convinced her that I was cheating on her with the girl that lived a few houses down from me. That girl and I were friends and we rode horses together a lot, so it didnt take much to convince her...
    But we got over that and she realized that I am loyal, and wouldnt do that.
    Now, 2 years later, I feel tied down. I started dating her right out of high school, and within 9 months she moved into my house with me and my parents. I told her to move in because of all the hell her parents were putting her through. The problem now is, I feel like a 45 year old married man, and I'm only 22... Prior dating me, she had several other boyfriends, and she got to "explore her sexuallity" with all of them. Prior to dating her, I had 1 girlfriend that I lost my virginity to when I was 16, and never dated or slept with anyone after that. And when I say I lost my virginity to her, I mean that, that was the only time I had ever had sex before meeting my current girlfriend... So I honestly feel like I missed out on my younger years. I never really got to date anyone else, or sleep with anyone else. I don't know what good sex is or bad sex is. I just know what sex with my girlfriend is, and it's pretty boring... The other thing is, she hasn't been single for more than like 3 months in the past like 5 years. So she really seems dependent on other people to make her happy. She is so afraid of being alone, that if I go out with my buddies for a drink after work, she freaks. She completely breaks down and cries and then gives me hell for abandoning her when I get home...
    She is madly in love with me, but I'm not really in love with her. I mean, I love her, but not like I used too. We almost never have sex anymore and when we do, it's terrible. She's not into it. She's just kinda there for the ride...
    I'm honestly not really even attracted to her anymore either. All she ever does is talk about how fat and ugly she is, and she isn't fishing for compliments. If I tell her she's beautiful, she'll argue with me about it.
    Now, here is where it gets a little crazy...
    We decided one night to have a threesome with her friend... That was a few weeks ago. And that was kind of my wake up call I guess you could say... Her friend in general, is a happy outgoing, cute and confident girl. And when we were all in bed she was really into it with me. Which is something that I have literally never experienced with my girlfriend, or at all for that matter...
    That made me realize what I could be missing out on... I love my girlfriend, but I'm not in love with her. I want to be with someone who is happy, independent, and confident. I want to be with someone who is fun to be around and loves sex as much as I do... But I don't know if I can handle the guilt of breaking up with her. She always tells me that I'm the best thing that ever happened to her and she couldn't imagine life without me. But the truth is, I can't imagine the rest of my life with her... I don't know what to do. I've tried to talk to her about how I feel bored and I want to try to spice things up a bit between us, but she spins it back at me and makes me the bad guy... Part of me wants to break up with her, but I don't know if I can live with the guilt of pushing her back to her parents... I already feel like a piece of shit for feeling the way that I do... Can anybody give me some advice? I have no idea what to do...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
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    You need to end things. Of this there is no doubt. You've tried talking to her about how you feel and she just puts it back on you - there is simply nothing more you can do.

    Is going back to her parents the only option? Does she have a job? Could she manage to pay rent on a share house? What's the economic situation where you live? Housing affordability and job availability? Would she qualify for government assistance?

    Thing is, if you end it she will be devastated. And she may well fall to pieces. It will be tough but you can't stay with someone simply because they lack the skills required to be a healthy individual. When you've finally figured out how to end this, I promise that the cloud over your head will lift and you'll start to see the sun again.
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
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    Going back home is pretty much her only option. She doesn't have a whole lot of money, and no vehicle at the moment. And the difficult part is, she works for my family's business... That really makes things complicated... She is involved in every aspect of my life right now. We wake up together, we drive to work together, we work together, we drive home togther, we have dinner together, and we go to bed together... And on the weekends and days off, we hang out together... EVERYTHING is together. And honestly, she's always trying to make me happy. Unless it involves me doing something without her...

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    Frankly, she is not your responsibility. Better to break up with her now, let her figure out her life and finances while you figure out yours. If you stay with her out of pity, both of your chances to be in a happy and long lasting relationship drops to zero. She is only 19, she has plenty of time to find someone else.

    Stop thinking of what's going to happen to her for it will only delay the inevitable. If you stay in a relationship where you are not in love and is unhappy with your partner, you will end up cheating. One way or the other, you will end up hurting her. Better for her to hurt now than later.

  5. #5
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    Jul 2015
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    how Dr Ajala reignited the love i thought i lost forever

    Greetings to all, i don't really think my name is necessary here because there are lots of fake spell casters out there and i just can't believe the level of scam going on here,i lost my Greg few months ago and did everything possible to get him back but proved abortive until a close friend of mine spoke to me about spell casting and gave me the email address of Dr. Ajala and i decided to give him a try and unbelievably to my surprise it actually worked and i can cheerfully announce to all out here that there are real spell casters but just outnumbered by the fake ones. Please try Dr. Ajala and i tell you there wont be regrets. Under 48 hour i got my Greg back and i am get this good loving from my man then i think its worth it..his email is [email]docalaja@aol.com[/email]
    Regards

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