Should I forgive or forget him

[Irene123]

A guy I have known for over 30 years made an inappropriate pass at me at his father's viewing. I was too stunned to say anything. I walked away shaking my head with my hand over my mouth. If this happened in a more appropriate place I would not have minded. I'm kinda sad that this kinda ruins things that could have been. Also this was the first time we have seen each other for over the 30 years. Should I contact him or chalk this one up as a loss? Help!

[basilandthyme]

I don't understand the problem. Does your country have cultural taboos against flirting at weddings?

[Irene123]

I don't understand the problem. Does your country have cultural taboos against flirting at weddings?

It was not a wedding. It was the viewing the day before his dad's funeral.

[basilandthyme]

Viewing! Oh shit - I read it as wedding. Many apologies

Yes, that is really poor form on his behalf. Not sure where I'd go with this either

[smarta$$]

I don't know what to make of his behavior, but I can tell you this: people grieve very differently than what cultural norms dictate. Personally, I enjoyed my father's funeral because I was able to see ALL my siblings in one place at one time (we all live in different areas of the country and were estranged from our dad) . I do not know what this man's relationship was like with his father; perhaps they were not close at all, and maybe this man's apparent lack of respect for his dead father was exactly what his father deserved. Or maybe this guy is an insensitive jerk. You just never know what is in a person's history.

[TheEvilJester]

How exactly did he make a pass? To be honest, I'm not sure if the answer to that matters as I cannot see how in the blue Hell he could have thought it was the least bit acceptable to make a pass at you at all at any funeral, much less his own father's. So, I'd kind of lean towards saying he's told you all you need to know in one action and you should forget him and never look back.

Maybe if by "make a pass" you really just meant that he somewhat innocently asked you out, but usually people don't refer to that as making a pass. Making a pass more so gives me the connotation of him actively hitting on you or trying to flirt. I can't see how that is appropriate at any funeral, but especially one where you would expect he'd be too distraught to even think about that.

[Mindfun]

only in appropriate if it was your father's funeral

[TheEvilJester]

Oh, that would certainly be a heck of a lot more inappropriate if it was at the funeral of one of her loved ones where the guy hit on her. For sure. Still, it is most definitely wildly inappropriate to be hitting on somebody at any funeral, and makes the dude seem kind of slimy and heartless that he'd do that while at his own father's funeral.

[LucidDreams]

I think you just have to forget about what happened and move on. I don't know if you are obliged to contact him but I guess it's better to wait for him to reach out.

[SuperHappyTime1]

Maybe he told his father he was going to one day make a pass at you and his father said "Over my dead body!"

Jokes aside, lot of emotions and "true feelings" come out at funerals. My family told me my aunt was a terrible person, but I didn't really find out about it until my aunt stole my grandfather's wedding ring during his viewing.

[Irene123]

Out of curiosity, who should contact who first?

[TheEvilJester]

You mean some guy hits on you at his own father's funeral, and you actually WANT to contact him? ....Well, if that is what you want.... I guess I would say wait and let him contact you first. If this were any other situation, I'd say if he doesn't make the first move after a little while, then rather than just waiting around forever hoping he does, you take that as your excuse to reach out first, because better to at least give it a try then to just do nothing. Still, not sure why you'd want to go out with this guy, but whatever you feel is best for you, go for it and good luck to you.

P.S. SuperHappyTime,

Perhaps you and I just share the same twisted sense of humor... because I thought that was hilarious! LOL! I almost feel a little bad for laughing at that... but it was too great.

[Wakeup]

Out of curiosity, who should contact who first?

You should contact him because its obvious that you want to. In fact, it's toooo obvious actually. Why you bring up the "pass" and where it happened is irrelevant unless YOU are disgusted by it in which case, you should have just passed on him and gotten on with the next 30 year without him without having to ask strangers on a forum board what to do.

O.o